Bethenny Ever After Finale Recap: A Woman Can Never Be Too Rich Or Too Skinny

As the second season of Bethenny Ever After comes to a close, everything Bethenny Frankel has been working towards throughout the season culminates with the speaking tour to promote her new book A Place of Yes and the sale of Skinnygirl Cocktails. Bethenny’s reason for going on tour: the most rewarding part of what she does is talking to women and sharing her experiences and the only way to accomplish this is to sell tickets to hear Bethenny espouse her knowledge and ideas since we don’t get to hear this weekly in the form of her show. This episode also contains lots and lots of talk about babies! Not just Bryn, but future Hoppy offspring presumably arriving in the very near future! Guys – here’s your trailer for next season: Bethenny: Baby Number Two? Since this show took place on a speaking tour and a tour bus, it was very dialogue heavy, with lots of footage of the tour and the bus, until the end when the results of the big sale of Skinnygirl are revealed. Then things get a little exciting.

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The episode opens with the kickoff of Skinnygirl Night Out: A Conversation With Bethenny Frankel. The fans are phenomenally excited as Bethenny dances out on stage and sits down with a sip of – guess what – a Skinnygirl Margarita! During the tour Bethenny is also in the middle of finalizing her deal to sell the Skinnygirl brand to a spirits company and reveals that it will be a life-changing opportunity. On stage, Bethenny explains how she got the idea for Skinnygirl and was turned down again and again as a way to inspire fans to chase their dreams, letting us know that her life is perfectly summed up by a bumper sticker: “it’s about the journey not the destination.” Explaining one of her philosophies in life as stated in the book, she gives a little analogy about male genitalia and it goes sort of like this (this is a paraphrase): Take it or leave it – life is like some guy who treats you nice but sucks in bed and has a tiny “situation” and then the next guy you want him to be nice but have a 12 inch “situation,” so basically more is more, taste everything eat nothing. I’m very inappropriate and so are all of you. What? – anybody else confused? Luckily for her, the fans didn’t ask for a refund, but they did ask for a lot of information.

When Bethenny asks if there are any questions; a long line of Frankenzombies flock to the microphones to ask Bethenny for her guidance and a plethora of other really personal questions. Bethenny’s advice, much like her diet, is pretty straightforward, easy to follow, and accept. She is open and engaging with her fans as we could expect, including revealing that she and Jason will be trying for another baby. The fans respond really positively since obviously they bought tickets and are excited to be there and Bethenny is clearly having a great time talking about herself.

After the Q&A session, Bethenny and Co. hop back on the Skinnygirl Tour bus and Bethenny and assistant Julie decompress and go over the show; talking about what happened and how it went. Jason leads the team in a Feed Frankel effort by arriving on the bus with pizza for all. Dawa the mute, practically invisible nanny emerges from one of the little bus bunks and meekly mutters that she is not hungry and has a schedule before retreating back to the bunks. Bethenny illuminates the night and day opposites between Good Nanny Dawa – who doesn’t speak or eat and Bad Nanny Gina who was a “cacophony of noise” and on a constant quest to devour all food – which drove Jason nuts, so he is in heaven with the new nanny. After midnight snacks, Bethenny and team, all wearing a different themed Snuggies hunker down for the night and wake-up in Philadelphia! Pennsylvania – home state of the Jason Hoppy! And also Julie and Jackie – lots of J’s on this tour.

Jason’s parents are waiting excitedly for Bethenny and the fam to arrive and they are so proud of her new bus and overjoyed to see her speak. Awwww… Hoppy In-laws, I love thee. Bethenny warns her in-laws that her show isn’t exactly “G-rated” and if she got any looser with the language she’d be “shooting porn.” Yikes! What stories was she telling? Over lunch they discuss the sale of Skinnygirl to a major spirit company and how Bethenny will be involved after the sale. Jason reveals Bethenny will remain a partner, since Bethenny, herself, is the brand. Jason’s dad has a lot of positive feedback and they are, of course, very supportive about Bethenny’s feelings towards selling the company she built from scratch. Bethenny’s partner, David – he still exists! She didn’t buy him out or kill him off! – is mentioned so we now know he will also be getting a cut of the deal. Bryn also has a lot of advice for her mommy, as she babbles sweetly at the table and Bethenny, the proud mama, announces Bryn has “found her voice.” It was a very sweet family scene and I loved Bryn’s poncho.

Then Bethenny and Julie are backstage getting ready for the second show when new assistant Jackie (JTI – Jackie the Intern) lets us know she is definitely part of Bethenny’s team by engaging in some Frankel-esque TMI by talking about her poop and reminding everyone about Bethenny’s “No number 2 on the bus” rule. Bethenny and Julie tease Jason’s dad for calling everything “Awwwweeesome.” Then everyone shows up and guess what Mr. Hoppy starts calling things “awesome,” everyone toasts with, you know, a Skinnygirl Margarita and the show begins!

On stage, Bethenny announces Julie’s new title: Coordinator of Chaos – C.O.C (say it out loud people as a word not as individual letters). Which is a word she cannot say in front of Jason’s parents, oh whoops! Too late. It doesn’t matter though because backstage Mama Hoppy shows her sense of humor by actually using the C-word while Jason’s ears begin to bleed profusely. During the show, Bethenny talks “breaking the chain.” While the Hoppys are in the audience Bethenny is asked a question about dealing with in-laws from someone who hates hers! Awkward. Bethenny talks about establishing boundaries, communication, and learning to accept each other, and adjusting to create a way of being. Hoppy in-laws loved the show and were so proud of her. Bethenny explains that she considers Jason’s parents her family now.

Then it’s back on the bus for the final stop before returning to NYC. Delaware here comes Skinnygirl! Literally – Bethenny is a twig! While Bethenny is playing with Bryn, Jason corners Julie for a little tête à tête, asking her: “What’s it like working for Bethenny?” Julie acknowledges it’s hard to be on all the time. Julie and Jason agree they both want to strangle her sometimes (who doesn’t?) and Julie says working for Bethenny during the first three months of Bethenny’s pregnancy was so horrendous she is taking a three month sabbatical if Bethenny gets pregnant again. Jason promises Julie can have a vacation for next time (foreshadowing much, Bravo?). Julie says Bethenny’s issues are not her problems and she cannot react based on Bethenny’s emotional state, which prompts a “welcome to my world” from Jason. Just as an aside: Why does Jason have the same hair as Slade Smiley? Don’t do that Jason. Is this a new Bravo requirement – must have greasy, slicked, back longish hair? Stop that Jason, just say no to Slade Slimey Hair.

In Delaware, Bethenny has bathroom drama. No – she didn’t accidentally poop on the bus. She needs to use the bathroom moments before she is about to go on stage. This scene was bizarre. Why was the camera filming Bethenny trying to find the bathroom and then using it? Very weird. I really do not understand what Bravo’s intent was filming the sound effects of Bethenny peeing in a closet sized bathroom. Was it to illustrate that she was late? In Delaware, there are many people wearing pink I Heart Bethenny crowns – which was also weird. Did they make them? Did Bravo give them out to the audience? Can I have one with my name on it? More dancing, more margaritas, more questions, more Bethenny talking! I also noticed she was apparently wearing a Skinnygirl Shapewear top, so more product placement!

Another rule from A Place of Yes is revealed: “Go For Yours” Bethenny illustrates the rule by telling the story of how she and Jason met in a club, when she was focusing on her career, over dating, and did not need a man. Apparently the night they met, Jason was out with a 24-year old Sports Illustrated swimsuit model (WHO?! –details!) He also told her to ‘get the stick out of her ass’ because she was sulking that particular evening. Bethenny made fun of them both for being 38-year-old desperate losers, too old to be in the club anyways, describing their meeting as: “Loser: Party of two.” Bethenny reads the dedication from the book which is to the fans. And the tour is ovah! Farewell Skinnygirl Night Out!

It’s back to the city and back to therapy! Is everything I watch lately going to include a faux therapy session? Bethenny talks dads and dollars with her therapist and discusses how she no longer cares about the money now that she is content with the love in her little family. Although I’m pretty sure Beth is still a stone-cold businesswoman at heart, who is definitely itching for a sizeable check, it is obvious that she does love and appreciate her husband and daughter immensely.

Bethenny is glad to be back in New York, because while fun, the tour was grueling. During a walk in the city with Cookie and Bryn, Jason checks for an email about the Skinnygirl deal and it’s here! The final offer is here. Bethenny wants to read the email right there on the street corner since the suspense is killing her, but they decide to go home and look at the email as a family. Bethenny says she hasn’t discussed the potential deal with anyone because it is very private, so private that it’s being heavily featured on a television show along with the rest of her very real life. At home, Jason, reading the email, reveals that everything Bethenny wants from the deal is coming true – she is going to be “a very rich woman” but they don’t give an exact number! C’mon! Give us the goods! Did she make 120 million or not?! We are dying to know – Bethenny tells her fans EVERY LAST GORY DETAIL but won’t tell us this? Is she now rich enough to be a Beverly Hills Housewife – well I guess if Brandi Glanville is rich enough, Bethenny certainly is!

After sitting there shell shocked by the fabulous offer and exclaiming that Skinnygirl is going to be running from the faucets and flushing down the toilet, Bethenny and Jason make a pact not to change because of the money, because money scares her. As she says: “Mo money, mo problems.” As Jason and Bethenny talk about the success of: “the little cocktail that could,” Bravo flashes back to how it all began with Skinnygirl Margaritas; back to the Housewives days when Bethenny was single and struggling and determined to be a big successful businesswoman who earns her father’s respect, to worrying she will be single without a partner because of her ambition. To meeting Jason and having him become such an integral part of her life and the business. In a touching moment Jason expresses how proud he is of his wife and she let’s Jason know she feels they have done it together.

Jason gives Bethenny a gift – their wedding album – bringing Bethenny back home to what is important – family. Looking at the photographs together, there is a truly jubilant mood between Jason and Bethenny as they realize they are now filthy rich reminisce over their first year of marriage and welcoming their daughter into the world. And after learning you are going to be worth millions and millions who wouldn’t be psyched? That’s where the show ends – Season two of Bethenny Ever After comes to a close! There were ups and downs and things I clearly wish I hadn’t seen – 40th Birthday Meltdown, anyone? – but things end on a happy note. Best of luck to the Hoppy family and congratulations to Bethenny on finally becoming the “real businesswoman” you worked so hard to become. See ya’ next season, Team Frankel!

So what did you think of this season? What do you think next season will be about? Do you think Bethenny will be pregnant with baby number 2? Will Bethenny and Jason get a new apartment or move to California? Will Dawa still be working for Bethenny?

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