It’s week two in Morocco for the ladies of the Real Housewives of New York, and these girls continue to bring the drama. “Riad Divided” begins with the last week’s fade to black moment regarding Ramona’s fortune. Luann tries to reign in Kelly’s translation of the psychic, Alex looks equal parts disturbed and model-esque, Sonja sobs for her friend’s prophecy and Jill longs for her snakes.
Ramona seems mostly unphased by the prediction, instead rationalizing the reading by the fact that she knows other women recognize how wonderful her Mario is. Sonja reveals that her tears are less about Ramona’s situation and more about the insecurities brought on by her last marriage. When Sonja tries to speak to Ramona about these feelings, Ramona, in all of her sensitivity, reminds Sonja that their situations are different since Ramona married an age-appropriate man for love, while Sonja clearly married an old bag for his cash.
Even with this awkward exchange, Ramona and Sonja are able to reflect on their friendship and realize that despite their different pasts, they can be supportive friends to one another. Okay. If I had been Ramona, I would have slapped Sonja, but on the flip-side, if I was Sonja and Ramona made the “he’d been married four times before you, what did you expect?” comments to me, Ramona would have been hanging out with the snake on Jill’s head from last week.
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The ladies head on a shopping excursion in the heart of Morocco, but unnecessary drama ensues when Sonja informs Cindy that she can’t sit next to her in The. Minivan. as Luann has already called “fives” on that seat. It’s another hanger situation, only this time it centers around a seven-seater family ride.
The scene is the Moroccan market and I so want to be there. The colors, the food, the textures, the people, the food, the fabrics (did I mention the food?) look amazing. Jill is prepared, trying not to look too much like Sonja an American with her fannypack. Nothing says “I’m not a tourist” like wearing a fannypack. Cindy tries to engage Sonja in an argument and Sonja’s defense is “what is your breeding?” Good comeback. Or wait, did Cindy say that?? Ramona, oddly enough, is actually pretty competent at deferring the drama. Who knew? Kelly (oh yeah, she’s still here) has Cindy’s back and tries to reason with Sonja on her behalf. Luann plays nice to Cindy’s face but is way over her tantrums behind the scenes. Alex hits the nail on the head when she asserts that perhaps Cindy is a strong business woman but a basketcase when it comes to personal relationships.
After the shopping disaster, Luann takes her friends to enjoy a camel ride. Alex is dressed like Water for Elephants…unfortunately in the desert, there is no water, and they are riding camels, not pachyderms. Sonja is too distressed from her fall off the horse a few episodes back (you remember, the one she teased Kelly for being concerned about) to participate in the caravan, but that’s cool, because Jill needs someone on land (sand?) to take pictures.
Watching the ladies mount the camels is hilarious to say the least. In addition to Sonja’s fear from her horse fall, its her time of the month (thanks, Bravo), so riding anything (save that young gentleman she spotted at Brad’s party) is out of the question. Alex and Ramona are beyond excited about the trek, but Luann’s camel has other plans and tries repeatedly to buck her off his humps. Jill in her purple kaftan, head swallowing scarf, and white Reebok high-tops is the picture of Middle Eastern chic. The caravan arrives at a giant tent in the middle of the desert, and it’s a totally majestic setting. For Sonja, it rivals the tent she was invited to by a Saudi sheik after the Gulf War. Oh, okay. Did you cook for him in your toaster oven?
Jill begins a game of “what don’t we know about each other?” and Luann shares she had multiple siblings, Cindy tells folks she’s been working since she was twelve, Jill (I can’t believe she would ever say this out loud! What a secret!) tells the ladies that Bobby has unusually smooth feet, and Alex tries to make the conversation take a deeper turn by revealing that her father died of Alzheimer’s when she was eleven. Cue Luann, who calls her Debbie Downer. Alex, you can share, as long as it doesn’t make other people uncomfortable. Ramona says that her mother-in-law lived with her and Mario for the first ten years of their marriage (the other woman, perhaps?).
Sonja’s secret is how unsafe she feels visiting this foreign place. Luann is insulted and goes on the attack, and Sonja fails to recognize her only ally, Cindy…you know, the woman who wanted to punch Sonja while in a mini-van a few hours earlier. Cindy is so overwhelmed by the lack of respect these women show each other (seriously, Cindy, did you NEVER watch the show before being cast?), that she leaves the circle of trust tent and heads out into the desert. Ramona follows her and does a better than average job explaining how hard it is to fit in with this group, while stressing that the ladies talking over one another isn’t always a sign of disrespect (just ratings). Alex agrees, saying the same thing in a softer voice, more succinctly, and in crisper, non-pinot drenched English.
Alex attempts to sexy Skype with Simon (she’s not wearing a bra–how brazen!), but is blocked with all the ladies coming into the room. Sadly for Simon (??), Ramona gives him more of a show than he got from his brassiere-free wife.
It’s time for another outing to a Turkish bath. The festivities begin with a traditional tea, or as Jill describes it, a brick of cocaine. Ramona and Sonja are suffering from major bowel issues, and as much as I would like to humorously elaborate, all of my jokes seem uber-inappropriate. Alex and Jill discuss how Jill can best relate to Ramona, and Alex is playing Dr. Phil better than Dr. Phil plays himself. For soaking time, Ramona has borrowed Paris Hilton’s mono-kini, and Kelly is concerned about the body scrubbing she has heard so much about. Alex approaches Ramona about talking to Jill and tells her friend that she believes Jill has only the best of intentions.
Also trying to make amends are Sonja and Cindy. They hug it out and I am thinking if this is a Turkish bath, you can keep it…I want relaxation, not dramz. Back at the riad, Jill and Ramona attempt to mend fences. Ramona is all about the therapist speak, with her “I feel you…” and “I enabled you to make me feel”…it’s actually the best way to approach things with Jill, in my opinion. And I was wrong. Ramona owns up (and it’s hard for me to say that) to her indiscretions in their friendship, but Jill will not admit any wrong-doing. Seriously, Jill? I thought that you were trying to change. You’ve been relatable and fun, but when someone tries to slightly criticize you, you go ballistic. Who knew I’d be Team Ramona??
Jill basically blames Ramona for the demise of Jill’s friendship with she who shall not be named (who is laughing her ass off , drinking Skinny Girl margaritas, and wiping her bum with hundred-dollar bills while watching this episode). Scary Island is back in full force, only it’s Jill’s thirty minute visit to St. John and not Kelly’s jellybean breakdown that is front and center in the women’s memories. I. Never. Side. With. Ramonster….but I have no other choice. She was normal and level-headed while Jill was defensive and horrid. I am so confused, as Jill had me in her good graces last week.
Ramona is speaking volumes when she says Jill’s anger is based in the Jetthenny meltdown. Jill continues to blame Ramona for her “part” in the end of Jill and Bethenney’s friendship. Ramona is surprisingly composed while talking to Jill, but has a very Ramotional, and slightly soft porn, moment crying on her bed over the argument.
Next week, Luann insults all the blondes, mainly telling Alex to go back into the cabinet she crawled out of…ouch. Across the globe, Mario parties, and me thinks we’ll have a bit of input into the fortune teller’s prediction.
Happy birthday, Andy Cohen! On WWHL, Sandra Bernhard and Sonja Morgan join Andy in the clubhouse. “Birthday” is the drinking game word and Sandra is confused (and hilariously so) as to why Bravo would pay to have “these broads” sent to Morocco. Sonja, who always seems to have a better sense of humor in the clubhouse, laughs along, knowing she’s just as much a butt of Sandra’s jokes. Sandra is NO HOLES BARRED when it comes to making fun of Sonja to her face the New York housewives.
Mazel to Kroy, Jr., Kim Z’s newest addition. The jackhole revolves around a Congressman’s junk, and that’s all I’m going to say about that. The poll is Who’s Side Are You On and it’s anyone’s guess as to Cindy or Sonja. Cindy wins (hangers, anyone?) and Sandra is a hoot telling Sonja how she needs to act with her fellow housewives. TGIF and Mazel, RT readers!
TELL US – TEAM JILL OR TEAM RAMONA? DID CINDY OVERREACT TO SONJA?
