Big Rich Texas Recap: Booger Proposes… And Rocks The Panda Tank Like No Other

While the Big Rich Texas ladies were in New OrleansBonnie Blossman discovered that Leslie Birkland filed a police report against Jason. Apparently, Jason's altercation with Tyler at Leslie and Rip's engagement party left Leslie traumatized and concerned about her family's safety. 

The next morning, the ladies discuss the previous night's events, mimosas in hand. While the details of Bonnie and Leslie's blow up are crystal clear, the rest of the night is kind of a blur. Melissa Poe asks, "Did we kiss somebody last night?" Oh yes, she, Connie Dieb, and Cindy Davis most certainly did make out with complete strangers, albeit hot ones. Yay for alcohol!
 
Melissa explains that nobody went after Leslie the night before, but they're all anxious to hear her spin on side of the story now. The ladies set up camp in the living room and wait for Melissa to bring her downstairs. Turns out – Leslie is nowhere to be found.
 
Ah, there she is, back in Texas.Thankfully, neither Kalyn Braun nor Tyler has a job, so Leslie knows to look for them by the pool. "You guys are not gonna believe what happened to me," Leslie cries. "Bonnie's turned against me." Leslie adds, "I'm the victim! You'd think she would have been remorseful for what her husband did." Moving on, Kalyn asks for Leslie's permission to date Paul. Leslie is like, the old guy? (Pot, Kettle. Kettle, Pot.) The 28-year-old nerd?  Kalyn asks Leslie to at least meet Paul before she passes judgment. Leslie agrees.
 
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DeAynni Hatley, Bonnie,Melissa, and Connie meet up at the club for kickboxing class. Leslie doesn't show, and none of the women have heard her since she fled New Orleans. Following the bitch and kick class, DeAynni reminds everyone about the upcoming chili cook-off. "I've got three judges coming in. We have a mechanical bull. Get ready, I'm gonna ride you later!" That woman just oozes class, doesn't she? 
 
Kalyn meets with her life coach. Kalyn tells her, "I'm feeling, actually, really good. I met a guy!" As soon as the life coach finds out that Paul is older, she screams, Daddy issues! Life coach asks Kalyn why things went sour with her dad, and Kalyn shares, "He wanted me to go to college, he wanted me to get good grades." What a jerk! Kalyn wishes she could reach out to her dad now, to apologize, and life coach urges her to try. 
 
Bonnie catches up with Whitney Whatley and Booger at the dog park. Bonnie tells Whitney about the police report, adding, "Leslie claims Jason intentionally and offensively physically attacked her." Everyone agrees that Leslie is delusional. Booger catches hell for Whitney's new ear tattoo… poor Booger. 
 
 
Last week, Booger asked Bonnie and Jason for their blessing to propose to Whitney. Bonnie fully supports the idea, but Jason thinks they're moving too fast and refuses to give his blessing. Booger sends Whitney away, to deal with the dogs, and asks Bonnie if she has had a chance to "work on" Jason. Bonnie says, "He's not going to do it. He's not going to give a blessing."
 
Booger, "Not at all? No chance?" Bonnie, "No."
 
Before Kalyn and Paul meet Leslie and Tyler at a water park, Leslie couch shares, "Kalyn finally has her life on track. She's been baptized. She's reconciled with her mom. She's seeing a life coach. I'm a little worried about her seeing this older guy. I hope he doesn't take her off track, and I hope he has the best intentions." I don't know about you, but I'm more concerned about Paul's well-being than Kalyn's. Run, Paul, Run!
 
Leslie grills Paul – What are your intentions? Do you typically date teenagers? Are you married? Have you ever been married? Do you have children? Do you make money? Paul has all the right answers. 
 
 
Later that night, Leslie finds Kalyn in bed, lounging with her stuffed monster. Kalyn lives such a tough life. Leslie urges Kalyn to call her dad, as suggested by her life coach. Kalyn hesitates, saying, "There are a lot of things I wish I could take back, but one of the biggest is spreading a lie about him and his family. I don't know if he'll ever be able to forgive me." In the end, Kalyn calls. Following the call, Kalyn says, "Hearing my dad's voice for the first time in three years was amazing. I felt a relief. I felt like that heavy feeling was gone. It was really comforting."
 
DeAynniShaye, Melissa, and Maddie shop for spices for the chili cook-off. Nothing to see here. Next, Cindy reaches out to Leslie, inviting her to come help her cook chili. Cindy isn't happy to learn Leslie isn't coming to the chili cook-off. On her couch, Leslie explains, "I am not going to the cook-off. I don't think it's safe for me or my family."
 
Leslie admits to Cindy, "I was sad and upset that you didn't have my back." Cindy says, "We'd been drinking all day, I was a little confused about what was going on." Is that's Cindy's every day? Cindy tells Leslie, "If this whole thing is about defending your family, you're going to have to learn to own it, learn to face people, and take the first step to show you're stronger. That's the way you are going to be able to stick up for your family." Leslie says she'll think about it, and Cindy promises not to let anyone throw chili on her. 
 
 
Meanwhile, Whitney invites Bonnie and Jason out for lunch, because she's broke and hungry. They talk about Leslie, of course, and everyone agrees that she is a crazy bitch with no boundaries. Yay team! Once that's settled, Bonnie and Whitney abandon Jason in favor of shopping. Yay for shopping!
 
Kalyn visits her dad. He tells her she was out of control and did a lot of hurtful things, adding, "You came into our lives, used us, push off aside, and left."   Kalyn apologizes for the hell she raised and the feelings she hurt, and, together, they agree to rebuild their relationship.
 
Bonnie and Jason "find" Whitney, Booger, and Nikki Walker at a bar, listening to music. Jason is a bit bitter, still, about the whole "blessing" thing, so he pokes fun at Booger's hat… cause Jason's hair is so on point? Hilarious.
 
Following the band's set, Booger takes the stage and invites Whitney to join him. He says to her, "I love you, you know this. If there has ever been two people who were meant to be together, who were soul mates, it's me and you. With all of that said, I would like to know if you, Miss Whitney Whatley, will marry me?"
 
 
Whitney says yes. Bonnie is happy. Jason storms off. On her couch, Bonnie says, "I had no idea that Brandon was going to propose to Whitney tonight. I was so sweet, and I could tell that Whitney was really happy. I just wish that Jason could be more supportive of her. I was really disappointed in his reaction." 
 
Bonnie follow Jason outside. "He's in love with her, and she's in love with him," Bonnie says to Jason. "Why should we stop them from doing what they want to do?" Bonnie looks devastated, and she all but begs Jason to congratulate Whitney. Sadly, Jason just cannot deal, and he leaves the bar.
 
It's time for the chili cook-off, and Leslie, Tyler, Kalyn, and Paul show up with a bodyguard! Leslie is all like, Cindy is right. I need to show my face, but I'm not stupid. I hired security to make sure my family is safe. Bonnie is all like, Bitch finally shows up, pretending like nothing happened and like I'm not even here.
 
The winner of the chili cook-off is DeAynni, but nobody cares, let's get back to the drama…
 
The ladies all think that Leslie's big boy is Rip. But, Melissa sniffs out the truth and immediately runs the scoop to Bonnie, whose jaw drops. Bonnie cannot believe that Leslie hired a bodyguard to protect herself, and she says, "This bitch has taken this too far. She's going to hear what I have to say." I love Melissa… in true Melissa form… she drops a bombshell on someone and then acts all surprised when the person reacts. Melissa is like, go easy, Bonnie don't, go easy. 
 
Bonnie asks Leslie if she truly thinks she needs a bodyguard to protect her from Jason. And, because she's awesome, Bonnie tells Leslie's hired muscle that he can back off and go away. Leslie cries,"Jason was screaming in my face. He pushed me and put a bruise on my arm." Bonnie quips, "Probably because you're 80 and 80 year olds bruise." 
 
Bonnie calls Leslie ridiculous and tells her to get the f**k out. This week, Leslie drags her bodyguard to the car, instead of one of her kids. Leslie says, "Bonnie has shown her true colors. She is an awful human being. I would never be friends with trash like that." 
 
Bonnie says, "Leslie's crossed the line this time. She's created drama and hurt so many of us. Leslie thinks that my husband is dangerous? She's the one that everyone needs to be afraid of." On her way out, Bonnie tells Cindy that she needs to protect herself from Leslie. 
 
Next week on the season finale 🙁 , Jason and Whitney are at odds, Paul proposes to Kalyn, and Connie attacks Leslie.
 
TELL US – TEAM BONNIE OR TEAM LESLIE?
 
Photo credit: Style Network
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