Last week on Shahs of Sunset, Reza Farahan, Asa Soltan Rahmati, Mike Shouhed, Mercedes "MJ" Javid, Lilly Ghalichi, and Sammy Younai wrapped up their weekend in Cabo San Lucas. Turns out – Lilly is too "fancy stuff" to have fun – shocker. Also, outcast Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi successfully threw a launch party for GG's Extensions.
Asa needs to find the most perfect budget-friendly chakra-shattering diamond to make her diamond water. Diamonds are interesting little things. They contain vibrational energy that is the original energy from the creation of the world – and stuff. Asa meets with a diamond broker and puts her special brand of crazy right out there, saying, "I'm making beautiful diamond water infused with real diamonds." Diamond guy is like, Oh wow. Interesting. Let's go to the VIP room in the back. That's where we take our rich and/or cray cray customers.
When diamond guy brings out a small box of loose diamonds, the universe leads Asa to two envelopes. Asa holds a 9 1/2 carat diamond up to her forehead, feeling it with her third eye chakra, and says it feels amazing. Diamond guy tells Asa that this particular diamond – the most remarkable, vibrational, drinkable diamond on the planet -.costs $325,000. Asa is like, It's not that special, what else you got?
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The more budget-friendly diamond is 5 1/2 carats. Now, Asa says this diamond's energy is shooting up her arm, into her heart chakra, into her crown chakra, and shooting out of her. This $90,000 – 75K if you're family – diamond is powerful and perfect. Diamond guy is like, I'm glad you're crazy happy. Cha-ching! Too bad Asa's third eye chakra didn't tell her to pay her mortgage instead.
GG and MJ meet up to discuss the status of their friendship. GG says MJ is still playing both sides, asking, "Who are you friends with and who are you not friends with?" When MJ says she wants everyone to get along, GG loses her temper.
MJ says, "Hold, please! Your choices have cost me everything. I outed myself in the name of you. I care about you so much, it's f-king everything up for me." MJ goes on to tell GG that she needs to be accountable and step up. GG wants to know how she's supposed to apologize/prove herself if they keep excluding her from everything.
To the camera, GG says, "People need to lighten the f-k up. This wasn't even that big of deal. I took some earrings off. I mean, come on, it wasn't a big deal." MJ explains her side, "Right now I am the only person talking to GG. I'm the last bridge she hasn't burned. I hope she appreciates it."
Asa has found the perfect diamond and Shawn (he makes my chakra tingle) has managed to scrounge up some water. Awesome. Now, it's time for Asa to infuse the diamond+water with her love energy to make it diamond water. Asa sits on her magic carpet, chants "joy, health, happiness, purity, love, life" to a 150,000-gallon vat of water+diamond, hugs the vat, and declares it diamond water. Call me crazy… but I'm a little skeptical.
GG visits Omid Kalantari, saying to us, "Now that I'm looking at Omid in a serious way, I'm nervous to touch him or to stare at him for too long." They flirt – GG with her cherry red sucker, Omid with his half-naked body, GG with her laugh, Omid with his dreamy eyes. To the camera, Omid declares, "I probably am a player. It ain't no thang. It's okay. She's fine with it."
Mike brings his non-Persian, non-Jewish but super hot girlfriend Jessica to meet his parents. Jessica seems like a sweet girl, but I question her decision to wear a skin-tight black mini dress and spiked heels to meet Mike's traditional parents for the first time. We learn that Jessica is a good cook, though her Persian food looks scary, and a nursing student. Mikes thinks Jessica's schooling has won over his mom, explaining, "Persian moms love – capital L – professional degrees. Bam! She's becoming a nurse. She's getting her master's degree. You can't hate that."
Reza brings Mike, Asa, and MJ to New York for his family's Rosh Hashanah celebration. When Reza and his dad meet for lunch, Reza says he wants to know more about his not-so-affectionate grandmother. Reza's dad explains that a rumor – not in Reza's grandmother's favor – drove his parents to divorce. Reza feels bad for his grandmother. Reza's dad says he does not, adding, "I feel sorry for myself because my life was ruined." Reza's father admits that he hasn't ever forgiven his mother. Reza cries, adding, "I had to forgive you so I could move on with my life."
Preparing for dinner with his family, Reza warns Mike, Asa, and MJ that his grandmother is lacking the warm and fuzzy gene and might be packing a pistol. Reza, who is determined to clear the air but still cautious, approaches his grandmother and she's all like, Gimme a smooch! Reza says, "Who is this bitch? Did they switch grandmas at the old folks' home?" Reza is pleasantly surprised by his grandmother's affection, adding, "This woman experienced some growth. It floored me." Happy New Year… apple slices and vodka tonics for everyone… including Grandma!
Meanwhile, Lilly prepares for a blind date. She's sooo stressed out, y'all, but the Ghalichi Glam saves the day. It seriously takes 3 people to get Lilly ready for her date – one applies the tarantula lashes, one applies the glitter, one takes care of the hair extensions. (Side note: During the show, one of Lilly's Twitter followers was heartbroken to learn Lilly wears hair extensions. I nearly died. Did she really think Lilly's 50 pounds of hair was natural?)
Hadi (sounds like Hottie), Lilly's date, says, "You're so beautiful. And you're still single?" I'm like, Hottie, Give it five minutes. You'll see. Lilly says, "Well, every day, I go to work, go home, and talk to my ex-boyfriend." Hadi is like, Um, okay, well I'm a personal injury attorney. Lilly says, "I'm familiar with personal injury law. My ex-fiance is a personal injury attorney. I met him when I was 19. I'm 29 now. That's a long time. I love him. I still love him now." I'm like, Okay, Hottie, five minutes was too generous.
The rest of the date goes like this: Hadi, "We're sharing food. This is so romantic, no? Your boyfriend should see this." Lilly, "I know. I wish he were here." Lilly, "It's rude to look at your phone at dinner." Hadi, "I know. Where are my manners? I'd rather just talk about my ex for 15 minutes." Lilly, "I wish you were my ex-boyfriend." Coconut, "Scared another one away, huh?"
Next week on Shahs of Sunset, Mike and Omid get into a fight, throwing a wrench (or should I say a knife?) in Reza's "Let's try to be friends with GG" dinner party. Also, MJ suffers a breakdown while lunching with her horrid mother and Lilly is told that Ali probably won't marry her as long as she's selling slutty bikinis.
TELL US – DO YOU BELIEVE THE DIAMOND WATER HYPE? JEFF PROBST DRINKS IT AND TURNS INTO A UNICORN…
Photo credit: Bravo
