Teen Mom 2 Recap: Alphabet Soup…IUD, GED, DNA…Who Needs It?

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Is it just me, or do these girls get dumber the longer this season of Teen Mom 2 continues?  It's like, they do something stupid, and I'm convinced that they can't top their own stupidity, and then BAM!  The next episode happens, and they've proven me wrong.  Case in point…on last night's episode, Leah Messer Calvert took out her IUD because she wants her kids to be close in age.  Pay no attention to the fact that at this point she's only known Jeremy for two months.  Jenelle Evans admits she slept with her best friend's boyfriend around the time she got pregnant, so she doesn't know for certain who Jace's father is.  Chelsea Houska was more concerned about Adam's twenty-first birthday than studying for her GED, and Kailyn Lowry brought yet another dude into Isaac's life.  I can't wait to see what they have in store for us next week!

After the twins' birthday party, Leah drops off the twins with Corey.  He's lamenting (well, not really…he's be lamenting if he knew what it meant) about what to get the girls for their birthday since they already have every toy under the sun.  Leah tells him she got them a Barbie jeep before riding off into the sunset for a romantic getaway with Jeremy.  They head up to a cabin in the mountains, and Leah is blown away by the coziness of it all.  Plus, there's a hot tub!  Jeremy sneakily hides what I'm assuming is an engagement ring in a vase in the den.  I'm just glad these crazy kids are taking it slow.

Jo has Isaac for the weekend, and Kailyn has a date with Javi.  I'm getting that Kailyn's favorite restaurant is a diner.  Javi is studying criminal justice in school, and he wants to be a cop.  They flirt, eat, and cut to the chase as far as dating, Isaac, and Jo are concerned.  Seriously, what is up with these girls throwing themselves into relationships?  It's a breakfast date, not an interview for a spouse.

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Chelsea and her mom are comparing hair feathers and whining to each other in a sing-song voice that only the other (and dogs) can understand.  From what I gather, she's been talking to Adam again, but solely about Aubree.  Her mother warns her that getting in any deeper would be a bad idea.  Chelsea knows that Adam's parents miss their time with Aubree, so she calls Adam (of course he doesn't answer) to see if they would be available to baby-sit while she moves into her new place.  Her mom tells Chelsea that she needs to be comfortable parenting Aubree separately from Adam, but that goes over Chelsea's head entirely.  She starts waxing poetic about Adam's upcoming birthday and how they've always spent it together.  Fear not, Chelsea.  I'm assuming that Adam's recent change of heart has less to do with his daughter and more to do with getting a present from you with daddy's money.  He's not as dumb as he looks. 

Barbara allows Jenelle and her friends to take Jace to a local children's museum.  Her friends perform a puppet show reenactment of Hoodiegate 2012…also known as Amber moving out of the house.  It's totally age appropriate for Jace.  Who are these people?  After dropping Jace back off with her mom, Jenelle receives a voicemail from Andrew–the guy who she thinks may be Jace's dad.  He's turned his life around and wants to get current on child support and meet his son.  The plot thickens…

Gigi visits Kailyn to hear all about her date with Javi.  Like myself, Gigi isn't surprised they went to a diner.  Kailyn shares that Javi is different from Jordan because he has goals.  He's different from Jo in that, well, everything about him is different from Jo…except his hair.  They have the exact same hair (my observation, not Kailyn's).  Kailyn wants to take things slow.  She realizes that she jumps from relationship to relationship, and she doesn't want Isaac to get confused.  She does want to introduce Javi to Isaac while they are still in the friend zone to see if he's even good with kids to begin with and to see how Isaac likes him.  She feels there is no need to waste her time dating him seriously if those two things are a bust.

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In the mountains, Jeremy is up early preparing breakfast in bed for Leah.  That bacon alone makes him a keeper.  She  makes fun of his attempt and reads the card off the flowers he's brought.  He's written, "Will you marry me?" and he gets down on one knee and presents her with the ring.  The couple decides that they want to have kids really soon so their new children aren't too far apart from the twins. Brilliant plan, kids.  Brilliant. 

Jenelle is meeting a friend at the beach to share her concerns about Andrew.  She explains that Andrew may not be Jace's father.  She admits to cheating on him with Tori's boyfriend at the time.  Tori does know that her ex could be the father, and Andrew knows that there is another guy who could be in the picture.  He signed the birth certificate anyway.  Barbara is also aware of her predicament.  She wanted to ignore the craziness, but Jenelle believes she now needs to face it for Jace's sake.

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Chelsea is moping around on Adam's birthday, and she decides that best way to cheer herself up is to have Aubree call Adam to wish him a happy birthday.  She coaches Aubree through the phone call.  Chelsea can't believe he answered the phone, and he's not out partying…yet.  Her friends are beyond sick of hearing her whine about Adam.  She's in tears.  I want to shake her through the television.  Chelsea requests that they talk about something else…funny, that's what her friends have been trying to do all night.  Chelsea excuses herself to go lay in bed with Aubree while she breaks down sobbing.  That's not going to confuse your daughter in the least.  Geez.

Corey's family is celebrating the girls' birthday, and Leah can't wait to share her news.   No.  Do not call during the party to tell your ex you're engaged.  Please.  She calls her mom first, and her mom is happy is if Leah's happy.  Leah is excited to be able to give the girls a family atmosphere.  She shares her concerns about telling Corey the news.  The newly engaged couple packs up and heads back to reality.

Kailyn and Jo are taking Isaac for his first haircut.  The couple is torn…Jo wants his son to have a buzz cut, and Kailyn is vying for a fauxhawk.  Poor Isaac is wondering why he just can't get a little trim.  The kid needs hair!  Kailyn is worried that she's going to cry.  The barber is worried that Issac is going to cry.  She's brought along an arsenal of lollipops to make sure that doesn't happen.  I have to hand it to Tad the barber…he gives Isaac a cute little man haircut…not baldness and no fauxhawk.

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Jenelle has decided she needs to figure out who Jace's dad is for her son's sake, but she doesn't know where to start.  She meets her mom for lunch to tell Barbara about Andrew's voicemail.  She admits that she needs to find out who is the father.  Barbara thinks it's a good idea.  Jenelle is worried that her friends are going to think she's a slut, but Barbara thinks it is a very mature decision.  It's so nice to see these two getting along. 

It's moving day for Chelsea, and her friends help her schlep her furniture across town.  The following day, Chelsea is studying for her final sections of the GED, and her friend comes over to entertain Aubree.  Chelsea keeps whining about hating math and missing Adam's birthday, but she's determined to be strong and study.  Good gracious.

An orange Leah is bathing the twins.  Does she realize how much spray tan she has on?  It reminds me of that episode of Friends where Ross tries his hand at tanning and is an epic failure.  Leah's sister baby-sits the girls while she and a friend go for pedicures.  Leah shares that she's taken out her IUD because Jeremy wants a child ASAP.  In fact, she thinks that she is already pregnant.  Her friend hopes she's wrong, and she thinks Leah is rushing things.  Jeremy doesn't know what having a child entails, and he's out of town five nights a week.  Leah is a five star idiot.

It's time for Kailyn to introduce Isaac to Javi.  That child is Jo from the eyes up and Kailyn from the nose down!  No paternity question here, folks.  Javi is good with Isaac, and Kailyn reveals that she wanted to the pair to meet before things got serious because she doesn't want to keep introducing Isaac to boyfriends.  Javi thinks everything is going to work out the way it's supposed to, and he's enjoyed the day with both Kailyn and her son.  He seems like a very stand up guy.

Jenelle is hoping that Andrew will agree to a paternity test, but she dreads calling to ask him.  The pair catches up over the phone…he lives in Florida, and Jenelle is passing her drug tests on a regular basis.  Winner, winner, chicken dinner!  Andrew doesn't even know how old Jace is.  The pair squabbles about who argued with who more and how often Andrew tried to see Jace (hint, never).  Andrew promises he is no longer the screwed up drug addict Jenelle knew two years ago, and he wants to see his son.  Jenelle broaches the subject of a paternity test, and Andrew switches gears…he's always had a sneaking suspicion that he is 100 percent not Jace's father.  Someone please call Maury!  He is more than willing to take a DNA test.  Jenelle secretly hopes that Andrew isn't Jace's father…he has too many mental issues. 

Chelsea has completed her final GED tests, but she doesn't want to get to excited in the event that she didn't pass.  She calls her dad because he hasn't been a victim of her shrill voice yet this episode.  Meanwhile, Leah leaves her kids in their high chairs so that she can go take a pregnancy test.  It's positive.  She tells the twins that they'll be getting another brother or sister. 

Next week, Chelsea gets GED results, and Kailyn refuses to meet Jo's girlfriend.  Andrew goes in for the paternity test, and a tearful Corey learns of Leah's pregnancy. 

TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT'S EPISODE?  WHO IS THE MOST IMMATURE OUT OF THIS BUNCH?

[Photo Credit: MTV]

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