You know what they say about Splits? She's always got a leg up on a table the other ladies! Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Kyle Richards is playing a delicate game of chess with old and new frenemies and making sure whatever she sees on an episode goes into her blog to make her the underdog. I will say that Lisa Vanderpump's edit isn't helping matters, but Kyle will never be the victim, no matter how chummy she gets with Brandi Glanville or whether she's able to prove that Yolanda Foster is a big fat liar!
In her Bravo blog, Kyle recaps the episode for us, and she starts off very tame. She begins, "Seeing Yolanda sick like that really makes one appreciate their health. You can see how weak she feels and hard that must be for a strong woman like Yolanda. Without the support and love of family it would be be so much more difficult to go through that. She is fortunate to have such strong support system," adding, "When Brandi was moving into her house and said she needed her mommy, I could SO relate! I always say that. Unfortunately, I don't have mine anymore but still always feel that. Brandi is so lucky to still have her mom and they seem to have a loving, fun relationship." Cue the violins!
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Continuing, Kyle reminds us what a good friend she is, writing, "Lisa and I are still just recently speaking at this point. I decided to go to Dancing With The Stars with the girls to show some support. I was happy Taylor [Armstrong] came, as I have missed her a lot. We all had fun and It was nice to have a happy evening with everyone." She is just so supportive, right?
Discussing her bee-dazzled luncheon, Kyle shares, "I invited Joyce [Giraud], Carlton [Gebbia], and my close friend Sharon over for lunch. I was particularly overwhelmed this day as I was trying to get my house cleaned (I do have a housekeeper, but she was off that day), get lunch ready for the girls, and keep my kids entertained upstairs. I was frazzled and I think it showed." Company on the day that the help is away? Seriously, Kyle, that's a budget move.
She adds, "In watching the part where Carlton was talking about the cat and the bird and I cut her off , I can see where she felt offended. I was listening to her story and then realized 'Oh, no! I forgot to offer them a drink. What a bad hostess!' I had too many things on my mind at the moment. I honestly didn't realize I had done that. My bad. I had to laugh though at Carlton saying she didn't care how bored I was that it was 'bloody rude' and then practically snoring through Joyce's story of how she met her husband and saying in her interview that she wondered 'when this story was going to end.' Carlton seems to have a different set of rules for herself.
As for the uninvited guest, Kyle recalls, "The now infamous bee showed up and I got scared because I am severely allergic to bees and I know Joyce is as well. As a little girl I was stung and the hospital was an hour away and I was going into anaphylactic shock. I have had more recent stories that were terrifying as well. I do have an EpiPen, but prefer to avoid bees all together because the reaction gets more and more severe each time. Carlton's reaction was a bit overly dramatic. If she had offered to 'take it away' like she said she WOULD have liked to, I would have happily taken her up on it. My mom was so scared about something happening to me when I was growing up that if a bee was near me she would say, 'We have to get it or it gets you.' I find it hard to believe Carlton has never swatted a fly or used ant spray at some point in her life."
Moving on to being fodder for the mean girls, Kyle admits, "Watching Lisa, Brandi, and Yolanda at Lisa's lunch really stung. (No pun intended.) I have made a ridiculous amount of attempts to repair my relationship with Lisa — and she continues to bash me. When I think about the fact that this STILL stems from her thinking I didn't support her with Adrienne, it's absolutely crazy to me! THAT is what our argument was. We are grown women. How long is this going on now? She always claims not to hold a grudge, so why the meanness? Lisa pretending to feel sorry for me because I don't have support from my "friends" is a joke. First of all, Lisa does not feel sorry for me at all, and secondly, the majority of my FRIENDS are not in this "group" of women. I have many amazing girlfriends who love and support me that are not in this 'circle,'" adding, "Lisa calling Faye 'Faye Rancid' was pathetic — a woman in her 50s reduced to what sounded like an elementary school bully."
As for who is the bigger liar, Kyle states, "Yolanda is clearly still upset about the Reunion and that I called her a liar. Yes, I did call her a liar. But only AFTER she said I lied, which I did not. SO, we are both in the same boat. I am looking forward to moving past that. I never had any issues with Yolanda before the Reunion and can't help but feel she was influenced by others that day."
Not one to go along without her own little digs, Kyle concludes, "Lisa's faint on DWTS. . . I'm not too sure what to say about this. . .First of all, we knew she was OK because that show is previously recorded and aired later. But, my first thought was that she was tired and didn't want to continue on DWTS anymore. OR she thought she was going to be eliminated so she might as well feign illness."
I don't even know where to begin with all of this, so I'm just going to leave it up the experts…y'all!
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[Photo Credit: Rodolfo Martinez/Bravo]