Aaaahhh… NeNe Leakes – you know what they say: the higher the heel, the farther the fall.
Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta, NeNe and her former BRIDEmaid Marlo Hampton got into a huge argument over nonsense.
Overnight it seems Kenya Moore and Marlo have become tighter than Marlo's wardrobe. Although I don't think anyone would describe them as friends – more like thick as thieves because they are up to some plotting!
Reeling in the aftermath of Kenya's charity event in which NeNe was honored but not honored (nor honorable) NeNe admits to Gregg (aka Tagalong) that she turned into NayNay, her super-ghetto alter-ego who likes to go all PLONK! and circumstance. As he listens to his wife's tale of woe, Gregg is sipping coffee from a toilet-shaped mug. I can't help but wonder… Is Gregg's toilet mug an indication of the status of his life? He's flushed his integrity and self-respect down the toilet for fame.
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NeNe is also salty towards Peter and his "bitchassed-ness" which she claims was uncalled for because he was up in the ladies business gossiping, arguing, and whining. And because he was right.
On the other side of town Cynthia Bailey is filling Mallorie in on why Peter got so upset with NeNe – and why she's taking her reality TV career's BFF's side over her husbands. And Peter and Cynthia are officially in a fight, not speaking, and he's staying in his man pad across town – you know the one she told him he wasn't allowed to spend her money on. BUT! It's Peter's birthday so Cynthia is going to surprise him with a surprise party so they can get things back on track. She might just want to let this one go…
Also reeling from NeNe's behavior are Krayonce and Marlo. They need a couple name – how about Kralo? Kenyolo? Marlo is wearing shorts so tight she can't sit down and Kenya reveals she was previously rocking a camel toe, but Miss Say No To Coochie Crack changed into a skirt last minute instead.
Kenya is furious that NeNe did NayNay at her event and reveals that NeNe was strutting around pulling Zoolander faces. Kenya gets up and does her best impersonation. Nonetheless, she has a desire to make amends with NeNe and Marlo thinks Cynthia's upcoming party for Peter is the perfect place to do so because she's gonna play the role of peer mediator as a mutual friend.
On the night of Cynthia's surprise party Peter calls last minute and threatens to cancel. Can you feel the love tonight? He shows up late anyway and is not surprised by the surprise because he spotted Kandi Burruss in the lobby and realized what was happening.
The party is going swell until Kenyolo arrives wearing matching skintight outfits. I swear it took Kenya a tub of vaseline, 6 pair of spanxs, booty buttlifting shapewear, and a couple push-up bras to get into that gold number. And don't even get me started on what Marlo and her popping areolas were doing, but the Pillow Talk lingerie party was a couple weeks ago.
What was up with NeNe's wig here – it was sitting atop her head like a bad toupee. She needs to talk to Kim Z about getting her hair situation fixed.
Anyway, NeNe ungraciously accepts an apology from Peter ("Happy Birthday Peter, I will allow you to beg forgiveness for not worshipping at the alter of my A-list actress superiority and Miss RHOA stature.") and then turns her transparent attentions towards Kenya and Marlo, who she proceeds to stonewall.
Kenya finally sidles over to speak to NeNe alone where she apologizes for her role in the masquerade ball – specifically miscommunication. NeNe is like OK – fine. Then tells Kenya she felt BULLIED by her and forced to attend. BULLIED! NeNe Bullied! So lemme get this straight: NeNe is bullied, but NayNay bullies people. Gotcha.
Since this is obviously the Cynthia has a party episode, she announces plans to host some fitness field day called The Bailey Bowl. Apparently to celebrate the fact that she's losing weight after getting the fibroids removed. Or at least, she's got tighter fitting spanx now.
Before all that, Kenya announces her plans to invite all the girls on a trip to Mexico – yes, even NeNe. Yes, even Phaedra Parks. Kenya is really trying to play the bigger person this season – it's a better look than last season's gone with the wind demented, but she'll always be Krayonce to me.
Since Kenya doesn't have a +1 (word got out around town that she's a terrible employer when it comes to her boyfriends) she begs Miss Lawrence to go along to protect her. WHERE IS KENYA'S NIGERIAN PRINCE TO BODYGUARD HER?! More like he's the Prince Of Fauxlanta, aka Mr. Invisible!
And finally it's Bailey Bowl day. All the ladies have formed teams. NeNe is Team Rich, Kenya is Team Twirl, Kandi is Team I Competed In the 1988 Olympics and Still Have Something To Prove. Cynthia is Team I Need A Storyline Besides Freaking Fibroids. Porsha is Team Nekkid Broke and Phaedra is Team Where's Apollo The Personal Trainer? Answer: dealing with the feds!
On NeNe's team she has every single one of her bridemaids… except Marlo. Who was fired and is now twirling for Team Krayonce. Everyone is having fun goofing off and not really following the barely established rules – except NeNe and Kandi. Kandi because she is competitive and NeNe because she is enraged about Kraylo.
After a couple events, Marlo corners Lexis (who without free booze cannot hide her boredom) to talk ish about how NeNe ditched her. Marlo is all amped up. Kenya grabs Marlo and proceeds to march her over to NeNe so they can converse and in the process NeNe tries to run away, so Marlo kind of shoulder checks her – I think it was an accident, though. NeNe flips and flings a bottle of water at Marlo. Bad idea – that witch could have melted!
Instead Marlo had a meltdown. Rolling out Mugshot Marlo, she went ballistic and started chasing NeNe out of the ballpark shrieking about how they were like sisters. Nene kept NayNay in her handbag and just stormed away while her bridemaids scampered behind her.
Marlo was chasing NeNe – or rather chasing the CAMERAS – trying to get some attention, but NeNe waited until she was in the parking lot before ripping her mic off, throwing it on the ground and snapping that Donald Trump won't stand for this. Is he her bodyguard now? Or her hair inspiration? Because Marlo seethes that NeNe is rocking Donald's hair (kinda, yeah) and got all her style inspiration from her, which is nothing to brag about.
Well there you go, money – or sugardaddies, rather – can't buy you class.
[Photo Credits: BravoTV.com]
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