I’m running out of ways to introduce Farrah Abraham‘s crazy.
So, straight to the point today, the delusional Teen Mom star recently sat down with AfterBuzz TV to talk about her normal stuff – the sex tape, the sex toys, the erotic trilogy, the restaurant – but she touched on current events too.
Of course, when I say current events, I mean how Farrah thinks she could save Hank Baskett and Kendra Wilkinson‘s marriage, how Fox News practically admitted they’re out to get her, and how Farrah “dabbles” with businessmen. Surely no one expected anything deep or relevant to the real world, right?
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Farrah admitted that the sex toys were her idea, adding, “I just reached out to the companies. I mean, it better be my idea, it’s my body part for right now.” She went on to say that she wanted to design sex toys for women, like vibrators, but “the whole mold thing” is a “popular topic” right now. No worries, though, sex toys kits for women are next on Farrah’s agenda.
When asked why sex toys and which celebrity should buy her toys, Farrah said, “Sex toys are a healthy thing. I think too many people don’t get sex toys and they go off the deep end with partners. I think of Hank Baskett right now. I heard Kendra and him are having some troubles. I think this might help. I think cheating is bad, sex toys are good.”
Farrah talked about her erotic trilogy, Celebrity Sex Tape, but she didn’t offer anything we haven’t heard already.
When the conversation turned to other books Farrah has bragged about writing, like a Christian parenting book, Farrah chastised the AfterBuzz TV interviewers and the rest of the world for carrying on like it was happening tomorrow. Because, duh, she doesn’t plan to write a parenting book until Sophia is at least 18 years old! But Farrah said she might write a business book or a cook book in the meantime. Oh joy!
Farrah‘s “work” the past year has consisted of filming a sex tape professionally produced porn, getting her vagina and backdoor molded, personally testing countless sex toys for research, and writing an erotic trilogy. So how does Farrah explain her “work” to Sophia, 5, who wants to know what Mommy does all day? “Development,” said Farrah.
Now that the sex stuff is mostly behind her – accidental pun but so awesome – Farrah has set her sights on a restaurant. The first, and probably the last despite her franchise delusions, Froco Fresh Frozen is supposed to open in October. “It’s fresh and frozen cuisine – frozen yogurt, sushi, wraps, and salads,” she explained. “It’s very innovative.”
In case you missed it, the Froco Fresh Frozen website was hacked last week. The main page featured James Deen at Farrah‘s backdoor and the about page played a very graphic clip of a random porn. Farrah blamed Fox News:
Farrah surmised, “I don’t know but I’m like, how is it odd that Fox News knew about it before I even did? I was doing a radio tour and someone was like, ‘So Fox News just said your website’s hacked.’ I’m like, ‘What?’ And so that’s just very odd. I say whoever tipped it off first, they’re responsible.”
When asked if she plans to film her restaurant venture for reality television, Farrah snapped, “Look, my success in my restaurant I just want completely separate from reality television, and that’s that.” Wow, the restaurant isn’t even open yet, but it’s already a success. Is there no limit to Farrah’s awesomeness?
Farrah bashed Bethenny Frankel when asked about role models/mentors. This isn’t the first time she’s called out Bethenny, nor is it the second time, and it probably won’t be the last time. Girl holds a grudge!
“I honestly don’t look up to anyone and I also don’t have a role model. I don’t have a hero and I know that’s like probably sad to hear but everyone that I have looked up to and I have met, like Bethenny Frankel, definitely was a let down,” declared Farrah. “I think women should not bash other women. I also feel that women can be as diverse as they want to be and I believe that and I am like for women, by women. It was just very shocking to see somebody to be opposite of what I thought they were.”
Farrah added, “It’s natural to go above and beyond where you think you’ll be and you’ll get there regardless if for some reason you can’t do what you want to do and be diverse.” – Huh? Can anyone translate that for me?
“I think it’s ignorant of some people who are hosts to have completely wrong perceptions and put that in other people’s minds,” Farrah said about Dr. Phil. “I’m just not about that. When somebody brands someone as a porn star, and they’re not, there’s going to be a lot of difficulty trying to work somebody like that. But that’s the past, I mean, look at their own personal lives. At least I’m strong enough to deal with the lies.”
Does Farrah have any regrets? “I personally feel like I never needed to do reality TV, just because of the hardships that I’ve had to deal with. I think I would have been a fighter and a hard worker regardless.”
Where would Farrah be today if she hadn’t been on TV though? “I probably would have opened up a restaurant already, been married, would have had my private life, and been very successful in other things. I am sure I would have gone to school for things like medical and other things I plan on doing.”
Farrah described her typical night out as “dabbling” with businessmen. #SideEye “I say go where the getting is good. I’m not going to find such marriage material at a club. I do dabble with, like, some businessmen that I do meet. I meet a lot of amazing people who are young and single, and if it works out, it works out.”
When asked about her ideal man, Farrah said, “A private, successful businessman. I don’t want the football player. I don’t really need any attention. I just want private time.”
Once again, Farrah‘s words aren’t in line with Farrah‘s actions. If she so desperately wants to live a private life, why is she doing porn and hawking sex toys and erotica?
“If your naked self is already out there – ‘Oh, I’m not going to do this business opportunity because…’ – that would just be stupid to not grace upon what other things that you can capitalize off of,” explained Farrah. “If somebody else is going to ruin you and take your brand down, you might as well put it in your own hands and do something positive with it. I’ll be doing other things, lingerie, swimwear, and other things too. It’s not all about nakedness, but it is creative and I do like to do things.”
Farrah concluded, “I don’t really think there’s an end to anything that I do. I think it’s just, I keep on progressing and developing and hopefully one day I’ll be developing master plan communities and bigger projects. Bigger is where I’m going.”
Bigger than James Deen? Ouch.
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