Teresa Giudice unofficially bid farewell to Real Housewives Of New Jersey during part 3 of the reunion. Behold, our retrospective of Teresa’s most outrageous moments as we say goodbye to a reality TV icon. TreHulk – here’s to you!
After serving her 15 month prison sentence, Teresa said she does not feel she’ll come back to RHONJ – instead opting for greener reality TV pastures. After 6 seasons, most of them showcasing how absolutely nuts she is, Teresa admitted to a love-hate relationship with the show. It made her a household name and gave her plenty of opportunities, but also, in a sense, caused her family to implode, destroyed friendships, and to hear her tell it – may inadvertently be responsible for her legal troubles. I mean, it’s not like Teresa is responsible for her actions. DUH
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE RETROSPECTIVE!
Season 1. TreHulk: The Legend Begins
Teresa was an immediately polarizing character on RHONJ – from her wayward spending, to her “bubbie” tawk, to her goofy personality and questionable intelligence, to her husband Joew, known for his Juicy-ness. Errr…
But season 1 showed her as the happy-go-lucky goofball without a care in the world. Meanwhile, behind the scenes, her husband Joe was filing bankruptcy for $11 million dollars. Teresa shopped, she wore a lot of gold, she teased her hair, she drank wine, and she squealed a lot. She was the kooky fourth wheel of the Manzorita sister-pack.
Then enter Danielle Staub, who had sex in Teresa’s bathroom but then had the audacity to pretend she didn’t! During the season finale party Danielle was confronted about the salacious Book, Teresa flipped. Literally. She flipped a table, she flipped out, she screeched “Prostitution Whore!”, she flipped RHONJ right on its head and was catapulted into the most recognizable person on the show. Lucky us. And TreHulk The Terrible was born
Season 2. TreHulk Returns For Vengeaence
Teresa vs. Danielle certainly didn’t die in between seasons. Oh no. As Teresa busied herself pushing out baby Audriana and throwing a massive Christening, she also had a re-done housewarming party that featured some Kim D on Kim G shenanigans, and Teresa showing off the $100,000 (CASH!) she spent on tacky gold furniture.
A heavily pregnant Teresa, clad in a gold minidress, also busied herself with managing G-to-the-eeya’s career, as she modeled in NY Fashion Week! Alas, these were the good old days of Jersey, the ones we fell in love with and the ones we still mourn today.
The ladies also traveled to Italy, sans Danielle, where Teresa pretended to shop up a storm like that bankruptcy mess was you know, just whatever. And Juicy got arrested for a DUI when he crashed his car into a tree… which of course spiraled into that whole false identity mess.
But the real event of season 2 was the Posche Fashion Show where Teresa and Danielle’s country club chase scene was one for your favorite Movie Of The Week mobster. As Teresa screeched at Danielle and raced through a country club in borrowed furs, Danielle called Teresa out on being in foreclosure, it ended in the parking lot, with the police being called, you know like all classy events do!
At the reunion Danielle confronted Teresa about her family drama – you know that sister-in-law Melissa Gorga, whom Teresa ignores! Teresa, wearing demure floral and big hair, leaped out of her seat, shoved Andy Cohen out of the way and came after Danielle again. GET THE TRANQUILIZER GUN – TREHULK IS ON A RAMPAGE. Seriously, she and Godzilla are soul mates.
Season 3. The Origins Of Species: TreHulk’s Roots Of Destruction
By season 3 that mysterious hateful sister-in-law Danielle spoke of had materialized. Melissa rose from the murky depths of Jersey to usurp Danielle’s place once she was cast to the underworld – where the undead roam until culled back to the surface. And Danielle was never far from the surface as she stoked rumors of just how she learned of Melissa’s existence: Facebook Messenger. Also joining the cast was Teresa’s cousin Kathy Wakile.
Shortly after Teresa’s nephew was blessed by Jesus, the devil entered the scene to savage the Gorgadice family. Poison came onto the scene calling his sister “garbage.” A massive family brawl erupted between Teresa’s brother Joew and her husband Joew, spawning three seasons of contention, which continuously bubbled to the surface like an evil brew. Much like Danielle!
Also not going away – Teresa’s financial woes as her bankruptcy issues deepened with a bankruptcy fraud investigation!
Season 3 spawned a ratings hike for the show that quickly elevated it to Bravo’s most watched Housewives franchise. It also gave Teresa a platform to create her Fabulious empire as she released a cookbook – which included a dig at Caroline Manzo‘s 1/16 Italiany-ness and what ingredientzes she uses in her meatballs! The cast travelled to Punta Cana, where a huge blowup occurred on the beach between Kathy and Teresa, and behind-the-scenes a brawl in a bar sewed the seeds for Caroline and Teresa’s friendship to sever.
As Teresa and Melissa spent the season making-up and breaking-up and pointing fingers about who was to blame, viewers involved themselves in a virtual Who Dunnit – RHONJ version. RHONJ became a curious cultural story just how far people will go for fame. It also elevated a dissension between Team Tre and Team Mel that created a 6th Housewife: Twitter (Tagline: “I can call you out or call you a bitch in 140 characters or less! #Truth). On Display!! On Display!!
The reunion was a deathmatch of hurling insults and low-blows between… Teresa and Caroline!
Of course, there was another Posche fashion show where the drama was so intense that it caused Jacqueline to infamously skip the reunion and turn to twitter for solace. Season 3 meant the end of her friendship with Teresa. Which brings us to season 4…
Season 4. TreHulk Vs. MeHissa: The Quest For Annihilation Continues
Season 4 was the dirtiest, darkest, most intense season of RHONJ. Melissa was accused of being a gold digger who married Poison for his money. Then Kim D uncovered a story that Melissa, once a Lookers employee, had been a stripper. To expose the truth Kim invited Melissa’s former boss, Angelo, as a surprise guest to the annual Posche Fashion Show. Of course, the true nastiness was whether or not Teresa was in on the plan to expose Melissa’s past! The sisters-in-law from hell battled on and off screen over everything as they tried to outdo each other climbing the fame ladder!
Jacqueline involved herself by revealing to Joe and Melissa that Teresa was behind the set-up. It ended in the parking lot, with the police being called, you know – like all classy events do.
Jacqueline was often involved in stirring the pot between Teresa and Melissa as she tried to court a friendship with both of them. A Goddess party erupted into yet another parking lot screechfest between J.Faux and TreHulk over who is to blame for their fambly disasters. The evil third eye was Jacqueline – always in the middle of drama!
Jacqueline also chose to involve herself in Teresa’s legal matters when she invited Teresa over to confront her, with Caroline waiting in the wings, about Teresa’s financial issues and whether or not Teresa was going to jail. (#Premonitions #Foreshadowing #OrangeIsTheNewLeopard) – and if Teresa was selling stories to tabloids! Possibly fake stories, to make money. Teresa denies it.
Teresa also worked on releasing a new cookbook – but Kathy accused Teresa of stealing her mother’s recipes!
Things got worse during a trip to Napa to celebrate Al and Caroline’s wedding anniversary. Juicy was overheard referring to Teresa as a c-u-next-tuesday while allegedly talking to his mistress on the phone (Drunky-Joew forgot he had his mic on!). Sadly, Teresa tried to prove all was right by getting frisky with Juicy in the vineyard.
Back at the hotel, TabloidGate continues as Teresa and Caroline got into an epic battle about Teresa’s two-faced behavior, cookbook and fambly slights, and why Caroline considers her a disgrace (hint, hint – it was all about Dina Manzo!). Teresa left like a thief in the night (see what I did there!) – trying to prove blood is thicker than wine, Melissa and Joe pretending to be supportive, followed.
Jacqueline managed to make it to this reunion, but she forgot her Xanax. The reunion was one of the most vitriolic we’ve ever seen as Jacqueline accused Teresa of lying, setting Melissa up, and that Juicy was caught cheating on her numerous times. It was a hotbed of awful accusations that rendered this friendship unsalvageable. And left viewers feeling sad and worn out from the negativity that had become the show.
Season 5: TreHulk Erupts: An Appetite For Destruction
It seemed there was no resolve for the Gorgadices, so the famblies took not one, but two retreats to try and salvage things. Unfortunately, Teresa was involved in an allegation that Melissa was cheating on Poison with an ex-boyfriend when they first married. Oops! The rumor, brought to the forefront by Teresa’s friend Kim D, her accomplice Penny, and Melissa’s ex-friend Jan, exacerbated the family tensions once again! In fact, Teresa wasn’t getting along with anyone – not Caroline, not Kathy, not Jacqueline, and certainly not Melissa!
A retreat to Lake George ended in a dirty blackened brawl when Poison called Teresa “scum” and then charged Juicy! As counselor Dr. V stepped in to help these families mend, a “truthing” exercise made it seem like things could finally change. Of course, Teresa repaid Juicy for his loyalty with some steamy bathtub and Fabellini time. #BLECH While the Gorgadices try to rebuild, poor Wallpaper Kathy is left out of the healing process, which makes her anger for Teresa deepen.
Teresa and Jacqueline tepidly attempted to reconnect, but never managed to rekindle their friendship – yet Jacqueline continued to involve herself in Teresa’s family drama, creating even more tension between the friends.
Melissa and Teresa couldn’t even get along for Gia’s birthday party in which Melissa felt she was being set-up and talked about during the party… did she cheat? Or was she once, again, the victim of a cruel rumor at the hands of the sister-in-law from hell?
Of course, just in time, another retreat popped up! The group traveled to Arizona for some equine therapy. Except the therapy pony exposed both Teresa and Melissa as fake phonies, surprisingly Juicy took it seriously and teared up about his legal issues. Just as it seems Teresa and Poison are rebuilding their relationship, another eruption occurs over Teresa’s involvement in the cheating rumors!
At the Posche 2 salon opening, Kim D and Penny return to stir up trouble about Melissa’s cheating past, as a massive brawl erupts between The Poisons, The Lauritas, and Penny’s husband Johnny. Teresa managed to stay out of it – despite being blamed for allowing the rumor to persist in the first place!
Off camera, the Giudices were indicted for 41 counts of financial fraud and a looming bankruptcy debt!
Season 6: TreHulk Destroyed: The Empire Falls
Credit: Joel Ginsburg/WENN.com
Teresa and Joe’s legal issues finally came full circle. The couple pled guilty to reduced counts of financial fraud and were sentenced to prison time. Additionally, they were denied a bankruptcy discharge and saddled with a $13 million dollar debt; meanwhile their businesses, built via RHONJ, fell apart in the wake of their legal issues.
With Teresa’s life destroyed, Melissa could no longer voraciously feed the famemonster in her soul from the light of Teresa’s spotlight, and with the family drama sidelined, Melissa faded to a flicker. Meanwhile Dina, returned make sure Teresa had a friend – for once. A real friend… Jacqueline attempted to reach out to Teresa as a supportive friend, but Teresa no longer had the energy to fight, nor the energy to pretend to believe. So drained were her reserves from years of fighting and legal issues, that Teresa aged two-fold and began to turn to stone. Literal stone. Like a zombie version of the former electric, silly, outrageous Teresa from season 1.
One person was still thirsty enough to attempt to drain water from a stone – new Housewife Teresa Aprea, who accused Teresa of spreading a rumor that her husband Rino had an affair with his mother-in-law, Teresssa’s mother, Santa! Teresa had learned of the lurid tale from Victoria Gotti, and told no one but Dina, who told no one at all. The old Teresa would have launched at Teresssa, levitating above her, wings of fury outstretched and a piercing screech to knock her from the perch with the force of her denial, but TreHulk is reduced to the size of a mere mortal. All of her anger, all of her rage, used merely to keep her alive and from crying.
Well, except when dictionaries are concerned, because dick-tionaries = war if you are Kathy and Teresa!
Alas, TreHulk resigns to allow a new dynasty to build in her absence, while she retreats to a cave to recharge. Don’t worry – she promises to return, to come back stronger – just not to RHONJ!
Doing this recap made me realize I may have not ever liked Teresa, but I certainly appreciated her early seasons of delusional je ne sais quois. The old Teresa was, if nothing else, entertaining to watch. I will agree with Teresa on one sentiment, in a way, RHONJ did destroy her – not so much the legal issues, but the family stuff. But Teresa also destroyed herself by never being able to rise above the rubble and play the part of the bigger person. That more than anything seems to have weighed Teresa down – the realization that her own poor choices: the fraud, the lying, the unrelenting competitiveness and desire to be right, has put her where she is today.
To Be Continued… TreHulk: The Rebirth
TELL US – WHAT ARE YOUR FAVORITE TERESA MOMENTS? WILL SHE RETURN?
[Photo Credits: Dave Kotinsky/Getty Images & Bravo]
