On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta a friendship remained in limbo, a theft occurred, and Cynthia Bailey struggled…
Things pick up where they left off with NeNe Leakes bursting into tears – I firmly believe it was the false eyelash glue – before bellowing at Cynthia about how she has been scorned, left adrift in a desert of vicious reality television vultures waiting to pick the bones of her success and that she has arisen again like a falcon from the fiery depths of a barren civilization filed with predator silicone monsters in discount Louboutaaaans and the weaves stolen from the corpses of past Housewives but NeNe has praaaaayed for Cynthia’s redemption, but she is nothing but prey for those with agendas to destroy.
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NeNe basically doesn’t understand why if Cynthia was so upset, she didn’t just talk to her about it so they could work through it and change things that were causing issues.
Cynthia sputters to life, suddenly, as if someone flipped a switch (Peter was not on the pulse with the robot controller). Her eyes blink slowly to adjust to the light and she says well you hurt me too. Apparently for Cynthia it took her months and months to realize she was upset that NeNe called Peter a bitch and that is a line of disrespect she can’t have crossed. Months and months, she says! More like: she never cared, but when it came time to protect that paycheck, Peter reminded her that she better come out swinging. Papa needs to start another failing business, y’all! GoFundMe Cynthia better work. #Kick starter
The other ladies scuttle out of Einstein’s Coliseum where the lions are kept famished with only a diet of stale saltines to sustain them. In the lobby, no one argues or fights, they just decide they don’t want no part of this because they are hungry, and parched from scavenging the bones of last season’s drama.
NeNe and Cynthia decide to move forward, but communicate better since they miss each other. They hug – it seemed sincere – and NeNe even felt to see if Cynthia had a backbone. Alas, she did not. Waiting in the parking lot is Kenya Moore, smirking her mysterious evil smirk.
Of course, back at home, NeNe serves Gregg tea in a toilet coffee mug while describing that her friendship with Cynthia is pretty much in the toilet – at least for now. She considered Cynthia a real friend, and she’s hurt, and it will take her a while to come back from that, but with time and reminders of how they were like sisters she’ll forgive. Eventually.
However, Peter is disgusted that Cynthia rolled over so easily to agree to be friends with NeNe again. He prods her about all the horrible things NeNe did to Cynthia; all the injustices, the abuse, how she destroyed their marriage and made life intolerable for Peter. Oh it was so hard – months and months of therapy it took him to recover from the hurt and betrayal. Plus, he is NOT a bitch, so how dare NeNe call him out of his name. First of all, calling Peach Snatchin’ Peter out of his name?! If it walks like a bitch, talks like a bitch, his name is probably…
Furthermore messy old Peter is embarrassing. He needs to stop – he’s handing Cynthia poisoned peaches, pits and all, all gussied up in sugar about how she needs to defend herself, but it’s self-serving he’s afraid NeNe does have the power to get Cynthia fired. Across town Kenya and Claudia Jordan attend a cooking lesson for Grand Mariner peaches. Kenya has never had anything so juicy, succulent, and decadent – she literally has an orgasm in the cooking school, twirling and moaning. Perhaps instead of imaginary African princes, Kenya should just got to an all you can eat buffet to find happiness?
Kandi Burruss is at home in her Mrs. Tucker t-shirt, which she only wears in secret when Mama Joyce is out of town and she’s double-checked that the nanny cam is deactivated. She’s heading to NYC to see Cynthia walk in NY Fashion Week and to see Sharon for the first time since her MIL learned Joyce called her a prostitute. #RIPSHARON
Meanwhile, Phaedra Parks gets her first legal case in… ever? Derek J comes by with a summons, as he’s been accused of stealing an expensive weave from a client and replacing it with tracks bought in the ghetto store for $9.99. Why do I feel like She By SheBroke filed this lawsuit?! Or maybe he stole Kim Z‘s favorite wig – Wanda is so scared and lonely, all by herself! Derek J shows off his new Manolos – next Manolo ought sue him for doing that to their shoes. He needs to go up a few sizes – his toes are barely constrained and about to burst out.
Phaedra visits his salon under the pretense of gathering evidence – or a free hairstyle? She seemed a little out of practice on this whole legal act, but she looked phenomenal in that leopard print dress. Werq!
In New York, Cynthia’s friend Kithe Brewster (of the helium balloon wedding gown) wants her to close his runway show, but there’s a problem: Cynthia went and got some Made in Mexico stallion implants from the Krayonce Moore Kollection (coming soon to the Bravo Home Shopping Network!) and she gained some weight.
Oh – and she also can’t walk a runway – her strut is very out of style according to Kithe, who makes a professional model show Cynthia how the girls are walking these days. Quick Question: Doesn’t Cynthia OWN a modeling school?! Shouldn’t she know about runway trends? That’s a great advertisement for the professionalism of The Bailey Agency, Cyn!
Todd gives Kandi a tour of his old neighborhood in the Bronx and dresses her us as an around the way girl. Kandi acts like she’s never left Mama Joyce‘s womb. Girl, please – she’s as lame as Cynthia anymore! Then they have dinner with Peter and Cynthia. Kandi explains why Sharon is upset because Joyce is spreading rumors about her, and not only does Kandi refuse confront Joyce, she’s lying to Todd to protect her.
Todd is angry that he can’t rely on Kandi for support, that she allows Joyce to trash him and his family. Kandi is frustrated that Todd is angry and doesn’t think he has a right to be because thats just how Mama Joyce is. Um -NO. Kandi, getting married means your huzzzzzzband is your family and you not only have an obligation to be a partner to him, but you are team with this man presumably for life. She needs to grow the hell up figure out what matters more: her marriage or her mama. Of course, messy mcmessy Peter defends Joyce.
They all do NY Fashion Week. Cynthia is awkward, robotic, and lacks confidence on the runway. She’s gorgeous, but something was very off about that walk. Peter needs work the puppet strings a little better and maybe give her battery a bit more juice. #RookieMistake
Then Kandi, Todd, and Sharon meet for dinner. Sharon is furious – and has EVERY right to be. Kandi continues to whine and defend Joyce’s inexcusable behavior. I thought we learned in kindergarten that lying is wrong and so is making people feel bad about themselves. Maybe Joyce needs to be on a star chart: every time she does the right thing she gets a big faux gold star but when she earns enough Kandi will buy her some new jewelry or something.
I’m glad Sharon and Todd stand up to Kandi, hopefully they can break the stranglehold Joyce has on Kandi. Time to cut Joyce off – change the locks and the pin numbers. Kandi tries to tell Sharon she can’t talk about Joyce, but Sharon isn’t – she’s just informing Kandi that she sent Joyce a summons and is suing her for slander. Who got the last word now bitch?! I hope she hires Phaedra to defend her.
We close this recap with a good-bye to Sharon, the last scene was a testament to her fighting spirit, her energy, and that she raised her son to be dignified, strong, and never back down.
Kandi posted a farewell to Sharon last night on Instagram.
“It’s so weird watching this episode knowing that #MamaSharon isn’t here anymore. I truly miss her! On tonight’s episode you’ll see her let me have it about the things that were said about her, but what you won’t see is how two seconds later she was ready to go have fun. The cool part about Sharon was that she would speak her mind & put you in your place if she needed to but as soon as she got it off her chest she was giving you hugs & wanting to have fun together. #RIPSharon”
And despite all their struggles, Todd expressed that his mom really loved Kandi and was happy they found each other. Awwww… “My mom, got a chance to see me find, and fight for my new ride or die! @kandiburruss thank you for holding me down through the toughest time in my life!” he said about his wife.
TELL US – DOES PETER NEED TO STAY OUT OF CYNTHIA’S FRIENDSHIPS? DID NENE CROSS AN UNFORGIVABLE LINE OF DISRESPECT?
[Photo Credits: Bravo & Instagram]
