So last week’s boat ride on Mob Wives was a success, wasn’t it? Last night’s episode began right where the last one ended…with Karen Gravano wanting Natalie Guercio served up on a platter for her to demolish. With friends like these, who needs enemies? Regardless, Big Ang keeps smoking her (is that a clove?) cigarette while trying to figure out where her loyalties should lie. It’s got to be exhausting!
At Drita D’vanzo’s Lady Boss store, she is working on promoting her store with a calendar that she hopes can showcase her make-up, skincare, and jewelry. Karen arrives to help Drita put together her “old Hollywoody meets mobster” vibe. Drita plans to put the proceeds from calendar sales back into the community. Speaking of, Karen wants to host a poker night, and she wants to invite the new Natalie. Drita thinks is a good idea so they can all see how Natalie 2.0 interacts with the crew.
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Ang is meeting with original Natalie aka Ratalie. She hopes to get to the bottom of all of the rumors. The two of them walking their three tiny dogs is extremely comical. Ang doesn’t mince words, and she questions Natalie about attacking Karen on social media about being a bad mother. Doesn’t Natalie remember that dissing family in any respect is off limits? Natalie replies that she was just retaliating against an earlier attack from Karen. According to Natalie, Karen stole a childhood picture of her from her mother’s Facebook page and shared it, saying that it’s no wonder this ugly kid was bullied back in the day. Did Natalie talk smack about Karen’s parenting? Heck yes she did! However, it was totally warranted in their online battle. Ang doesn’t know what to think, but I have to wonder if she’s just tired from having to carry around that massive chest of hers. That gray sweatsuit is offering no support! Ang reveals that she’s been ordered to deliver Natalie to Karen. Natalie is fine with this revelation. Bring it, bitch.
Later, at Ang’s home-in-progress, she’s stressed about moving in to the new place. I love that there is scaffolding around the entire structure, but yet the yard is totally manicured, complete with a statute zoo. How many marble horses does one person need? Ang is anxious to get the house completed so that she can move in AJ and his new family now that he’s done with his stint at Rikers. Like any typical male, Ang’s husband Neil doesn’t understand why his wife can’t life in a construction zone. What’s the problem? There’s roof, after all!
Natalie and boyfriend London are spending some quality time together in New York. She’s ready to get more settled, but she’s still traveling a lot from Philly to make sure her son’s transition is a smooth one. He’s still in school in Philly, and she doesn’t want him in public school in New York. Natalie wishes that London understood her responsibilities as a mother. Changing the subject, Natalie rehashes her conversation about Karen with Ang. London agrees that Karen and Natalie need to meet face-to-face. He wants his girlfriend to bury the hatchet with the bridges she’s burned with her co-stars. Natalie respects Drita and Ang enough that she’s willing to meet with Karen, but she’s not going to back down from her position. I’m not quite sure what her position is, but I guess we’ll get a glimpse of it tonight.
Karen is hosting her poker night, and Drita is in her element. After their near brawl, Ang and Renee Graziano are letting old bygones be bygones. New Natalie DiDanato is attending the party, and Karen can’t wait to see what else she reveals about her nemesis other Natalie. Cards are dealt and chips are ante-ed, and this may be the first Mob Wives party I wish I was attending. It doesn’t take long for Karen to turn the conversation to Ratalie, but Drita and Ang remain in their own conversation. Drita asks Ang to be the face of her Lady Boss calendar, but they are quickly called into the Natalie bashing. If Ang is asked to contribute to agenda, she’s going to speak her mind. Ang retorts that Natalie claims that Karen started the entire situation by stealing a picture from Natalie’s mother’s Facebook page. New Natalie pipes in to say that she provided that picture, and she found it in Ratalie’s old yearbook. Karen tries to drive her point home by saying that her daughter felt the need to respond to original Natalie on Twitter, warning Natalie to keep Karen’s name out of her mouth. I want to know why Karen is allowing her daughter to engage in Twitterwars with these idiots. Of course, no one sees my point. Renee is over playing cards upon hearing this news. Drita wants to Hannibal Lector someone’s face. That said, a meet up is in the works.
It’s the day of the Lady Boss calendar shoot, and I’m hoping that we’ll have some of the lighthearted fun that is so few and far between with this Mob Wives crew. Drita wants to style Ang as a modern day Sharon Stone circa Casino. Ang is channeling major boobs, faux fur pink rabbit, and a cap gun. It’s perfection. This is what I want to see, VH1! The friends wonder how Natalie is going to react to this upcoming meeting of the minds. Drita reminds Ang that Natalie has to know that things are out of control, after all she knows what she’s engaging in on social media. Drita is so over the drama. Amen.
Karen is styled like she’s meeting Donald Trump for a Celebrity Apprentice interview on the day of the great Natalie summit. Natalie is wearing her highest, sluttiest boots, but she’s paired them with a conservative trench coat and (thankfully) not the plastic zip up halter she’s sporting in her talking head interview. Drita doesn’t understand why people fight on social media. If it were up to her, people would fight the old fashioned way…with their fists and switchblades. Ang and Renee are the first to arrive at the grand meeting. Personally, I feel like VH1’s liability team dropped the ball given the amount of glassware on the table. Drita arrives, and all the ladies believe that Natalie talks too much, although Ang and Drita don’t agree with Renee about whether her intentions are truly hateful. Drita just wishes that everyone would come to the consensus that violence IS the answer. Words can’t hurt anyone, but those sticks and stones are sure to leave a mark!
Natalie is fashionably late to her stoning, and Karen is ready to take her to task. Renee claims that she’s only there to support Karen, but if anyone cares, Natalie needs to be eliminated. Ang counters that everything will be fine if Natalie stops antagonizing Karen on social media. Um, no. Everything will be fine if Natalie has the cajones to say to Karen’s face everything she’s been so bold to say behind the safety of her computer. After that, Karen will knock her into next week and her thigh high boots and slicked ponytail will be as intact as ever. Natalie arrives and she’s all compliments and air kisses for Drita and Ang. Her boobs probably should have RSVP’d to this meeting separately. I take back what I said in the last paragraph. That plastic SCUBA suit she sports in her interviews is Princess Kate compared to this get-up! Seriously, who wears stuff like that?
Not wasting any time, Karen demands to know why Natalie is tweeting that she’ a bad mother. Ang and Drita’s heads are bobbing back and forth as if they are at a Wimbledon match. Karen dares Natalie to say to her face all the crap that she posts on Twitter. Drita intervenes to see how the ladies can end this ridiculous feud. Karen jumps back into the fight saying she doesn’t know where Natalie gets off calling her a deadbeat mom. Natalie interjects that the deadbeat mom message wasn’t her intention and that Karen has raised a gorgeous daughter. Make no mistake, Natalie assures Karen that she was only insulting her, not her daughter. Okay. That makes it better.
There is a lot of back and forth, and Renee interrupts to ask why Natalie can’t admit when she’s gone too far. When Natalie refuses to take the bait and remains aloof, it drives Renee over the edge. Natalie is playing passive, and she’s doing it well. She’s letting Renee and Karen be the screaming voices while Natalie calmly says she doesn’t see it their way. Karen is too focused on the montage in her head of all the times Natalie has disrespected her family this season. Teresa Giudice, take note. You don’t yell “Prostitution whore!” to draw attention to yourself before flipping a table, you go stealth or go home. Disengage from the conversation long enough to get enraged by your inner monologue, and when no one’s paying attention, you flip that table for all it’s worth, girl! And as you flip, you grab for weave. In an Us Weekly poll of “Who Flipped It Best?” Karen would have the votes by a landslide.
Hair is ripping and bodysuits are stretching beyond the confines of what they were created to protect. Season two Drita feels the need to jump in for a hot second. When security is finally able to pull the ladies apart, both have trace amounts of blood trickling from their faces. Drita is appalled to see that Natalie tries to come after Karen with a broken glass. How are her boobs not exposed after that? I guess I’ll find out next week as Karen goes running full steam ahead at Natalie through parking lot. And scene.
TELL US-WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WHO WOULD WIN A FIGHT BETWEEN KAREN AND NATALIE PROVIDED NO SECURITY STEPPED IN TO SEPARATE THEM?
[Photo Credit: VH1]
