Dorinda Medley cannot catch a break – all the lady wants to do is celebrate her birthday without her Real Housewives Of New York costars causing drama. But, alas, it was not meant to be.
Last week Dorinda took the group to her Berkshires home, where it was anything but peaceful and relaxing. With all the non-stop drama, Dorinda nearly lost it. Good thing she had copious amounts of champagne!
“Of course, I knew what I might be getting myself into by inviting the girls over for a birthday dinner. This weekend was going to be a juggling act: relaxation meets possible obliteration,” Dorinda admits. “I mean, after my first birthday dinner at Petrossian, where I had a front-row seat to my own crucifixion, I was almost relieved to know my next potential slow death would happen on my own turf.”
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Despite realizing it would be somewhat of a nightmare, Dorinda was still excited to show the ladies her home. She was not excited to have an argument with Kristen Taekman become part of the tour! “I get such a little thrill out of people’s reactions to the house. I worked hard to make it what it is, so it’s nice to hear it be appreciated—and the girls sure did appreciate it. All part of being a hostess with the mostest, and I love it. Until you start up on things that are inappropriate or disrespectful or just plain sloppy…like the damn ‘grinding with John‘ incident.”
And Dorinda simply doesn’t understand why everyone is so obsessed with her relationship or her man! “Ever get annoyed by hearing the same loud commercial over and over again? Even the commercial jingle just makes you clench your teeth? Right…well…Do these girls have nothing else in their lives, or are they so bored that they have to focus on this? Still?!” she wonders. “Weeks later?! What’s up with that?! Weird, creepy, obsessive, and good old fashioned irritating. I reached my boiling point on this topic, babes. I am over it. SO over it.”
Dorinda isn’t sorry she exploded on Kristen – she thinks Little Miss Pretty had it coming to her but next time, in order to make sure her guests are on their best behavior Dorinda has some rules. Well here they are – it’s a preemptive strike.
Dorinda Medley’s “Eight Simple Rules For Not Getting Bitched At:”
1. Make no mountains out of mole hills. (It wasn’t a big deal.)
2. Don’t rehash and belabor things. (The topic has been exhausted.)
3. Take responsibility. (You’re an adult and weren’t forced to do anything.)
4. Be a gracious guest. (You embarrassed me at my own cocktail party.)
5. Show off your manners and be polite. (You’re my guest, once again.)
6. Take the shade someplace else. (Especially when it’s about me.)
I’m not one for living in the past, and at this point in my life, I just aim to be happy. So…
7. Be happy for me.
And if you can’t be…
8. Leave me alone.
With that, no more will be said about John, grinding, and Kristen unless John is getting some coffee grind stains out of one of Kristen’s dresses.
Moving on to other tumultuous activities of the weekend – dinner at the Red Lion. Dorinda worked there in college and it holds a special place in her heart. “It was so much fun to share that with the girls and being there brought back such great memories,” she writes in her Bravo blog. “Of course with the drinks flowing, the topics of conversation turned to gossip, and everyone’s favorite topic: Bethenny [Frankel]. Why?!” Yes – why are people talking about Bethenny. I’d rather not…
And then the next morning Sonja Morgan showed up. “Lady Morgan was definitely channeling some Transylvanian chic with her black florals and fur cape, wasn’t she? I loved it! When she pulled up, I knew the weekend would be a fun one. She came wearing a cape and bearing gifts. Naturally, I thought we should all go Christmas shopping, and I gathered all the ladies of the manor and ordered our coachman to take us into town. How dainty.” Dorinda also reveals that Heather Thomson gave her an incredibly thoughtful gift – which didn’t make the editing cut.
And finally – the dinner party! And the fancy dress was Dorinda’s idea. “I love dressing for dinner; it creates an ‘old world’ feel, and it makes things a little more fun and memorable. Once the ladies came down to the living room for some pre-dinner cocktails, I sat there and just smiled. THIS is what I was wanting Petrossian to be! We have the 40s chic look to the dark and sultry Morticia Radziwill, to my Pucci Pucci Pucci. (I love me some Pucci!) Once the champagne was popped, BAM! THE B WAS BACK!”
Now as for the menu, which was, of course, the cause of much friction and dismay. It’s Dorinda’s birthday and she’ll serve what she wants to. “Bizen, the local Japanese restaurant, sent one of their extraordinary chefs to prepare a spectacular feast, but I wasn’t aware of Bethenny’s allergy. Heather was,” Dorinda recounts. “We were soon all aware. Very aware. So aware, I felt myself developing allergies on the spot.”
“I don’t really understand why it blew out of proportion so much, BUT, I will say that I know Heather was trying to be helpful,” defends Dorinda. “I also know that Bethenny hates attention and certainly wouldn’t want to call this kind of attention to herself at a dinner party, because it’s potentially embarrassing and definitely distracting.” Bethenny hates attention – HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA – oh Dorinda, you sweet, kind, naive, soul – Bethenny has you fooled, doesn’t she. Call Jill Zarin for a reality check! 😉
Dismantling the argument, Dorinda is just appalled it even took place. “Watching this back-and-forth, as you’ve noticed, makes me so uncomfortable. I just want to line ’em up and start slappin’. Just don’t understand why it has to be so much tension about every little thing,” she complains. “I feel like we should all get reminders on our iPhones that say ‘Choose your battles wisely, bitch.’ I sat there next to John, looking at Luann and Sonja, asking myself, ‘Why can’t I just have a peaceful birthday where we drink some sake and have a fun night?'” Well, because you joined RHONY, that’s why!
“Look, I think people go through their sh– their own way, and we have to be there to help them, not critique or send them a running commentary about it,” Dorinda explains. “Each journey–divorce, death, depression, and loss of any sort–can be such a lonely, confusing time. Our job is to let the person know we’re there for them. Maybe not offer an analysis or a solution, but just make them aware that you’re there to listen and help them how they NEED to be helped. It needs to be their decision, not your prescription.”
Of course with every Housewives meltdown, Dorinda is becoming more and more aware of the varying tensions amid the group. “One thing I’ve definitely learned is this: Each dinner makes me more and more aware of the different personalities in play here,” she says. “No one in this group means harm, but we are all quite different, so the perception of what we are trying to achieve may not be what is actually perceived. The road to hell is paved with good intentions, as they say. I was just practically desperate to pop some more champagne, lighten the mood, and hope we could move on and party. I thought, ‘Hell, maybe I’ll even get a late nite kissy form Lady Morgan.'”
Tonight RHONY returns with a new episode. Continued from last week, Heather and Bethenny’s screaming argument escalates! Back in NYC, Avery is home from college and has some very mature thoughts about Ramona and Mario’s divorce. Bethenny continues to try and coach Sonja through building a successful business. Meanwhile Kristen has a business endeavor of her own when she begins work on her own nail polish line. When she invites Carole to contribute some of her ideas, but Carole contributes a lot more than Kristen was anticipating!
The drama explodes at the launch of Ramona’s new sports bar when Bethenny finds herself in the cross-hairs of Luann, Kristen, and Heather. Good thing Bethenny is skinny enough to slither out of most situations.
Reality Tea will be live-tweeting, so make sure to join us.
TELL US – IS DORINDA JUSTIFIED IN BEING ANNOYED BY ALL THE SELF-CENTERED DRAMA DURING HER BIRTHDAY WEEKEND?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]
