On last night’s bittersweet Flipping Out, it’s all about the circle of life. While Jeff Lewis and Gage Edward get serious about taking steps toward having a child via surrogacy, they get some devastating news about Jeff’s beloved 14-year old cat, Stewie.
At Gramercy, Jeff, Jenni Pulos, and Gage are getting the day started with (what else?) checklists of appointments. Their first appointment of the day is with the Egg Hunter, LA’s resident surrogacy coordinator who helps future parents “hunt” for the right woman as an egg donor. It’s like online dating, but for Jeff, it’s more like Grindr. Because he’s more worried about Who’s Hot and Who’s Not rather than who gets 4.0s in college, pays taxes, and votes. Gage is just worried that if they’re not discerning, the worst case scenario would be “to have a little Joe.” Since Jeff is a “little older” (cough, cough) than Gage, he’s going to be the sperm donor for Baby #1, while Gage will cough up the goods for Baby #2. “You gotta understand, I am not a young person,” says Jeff. “When you’re dropping the kid off at college, you’ll be dropping me off at the Home.”
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At a Pacific Palisades remodel, two-year client Hania is back from last season to drive Jeff just a a little bit more insane. Yay! Here she is asking to “mix the pool water with the spa water” and arguing “it will be fine!” And there she is asking for twelve water features that are inspired by the Getty Museum. And ooh, look! Here she is again asking for a “dry cleaning rack” that spins around her gigantic closet, presenting her clothes to her one steaming tacky garment (with its own ticket?) at a time. I.Love.This.Crazy.Broad. Jeff claims he’s only driven crazy by Hania 20% of the time, which is less than how often he is driven crazy by Gage. But the cameras tell a different story because Jeff, admittedly, is so frustrated by Hania most of the time that he has to physically remove himself from her presence, leaving the long-suffering Vanina Alfaro behind as resident Hania Handler.
Back home, Jeff calls the vet about his 14-year old cat Stewie, who’s been losing weight lately. Gage agrees to drop Stewie off at the vet later to get some blood work done to check things out. Jeff and Gage are animal lovers, and Jenni says the way they love their pets is laying the solid groundwork for the kind of parents they’ll be. Awwww. (RIP Monkey!)
To take his mind off Stewie, Jeff peruses the egg donor database. He quickly realizes that finding the right egg donor is going to be a challenge, as he and Gage have completely different tastes in women. “We need someone with a really good personality and funny…you know, to make up for Gage,” Jeff snarks. Jeff is interested in women who look like the female version of Jeff Lewis (uh, like Janice Dickinson?) while Gage is interested in…his new assistant Matt. Meanwhile, Jenni thinks they need to focus on finding a woman who’s laid back and chill. Maybe not a “type A personality,” she muses. Good call.
Back at Hania’s 6-million-dollar-mansion-to-be, she’s quibbling over the cost of light fixtures, which Jeff takes issue with. He wonders why there’s suddenly a budget in play when usually Hania burns thousands on ridiculous water features “inspired by the Getty” and custom cat doors for her laundry room. He finally throws some good ole’ fashioned Vanina at the problem after Hania struggles to understand the Jeff Lewis hatred of installing a Lazy Susan in a designer kitchen. While Jeff gets his cookie eating on in the background, Vanina, now promoted to Hania Whisperer, gets the point across with ease.
Home again, Jeff and Gage feed poor Stewie via syringe because he’s not able to eat on his own. Jeff cradling the cat for his feeding, burp cloth and all, reminds Jenni of the “little Jeff” that will be on the way before too long. Jeff claims that the pets love Gage so much because – believe it or not – he’s actually very caring and nurturing and affectionate.
But who’s nurturing Gage these days? Well, Gage 2.0, of course! Matt, Gage’s new assistant, has added to the quality of Gage’s life so much that Gage has been reduced to speaking of him in the breathy, dreamy tones of a starry eyed lovah. Why doesn’t Jeff talk about Jenni that way, wonders Jenni? Jenni imitates Gage’s love of Matt: “Ohhhh, that Matt. He’s ah-maze-ing. Oooh. Ah.” Sounds about right!
At Cosmos Flooring, Jeff, Jenni, and the Hania Whisperer guide Hania through tile choices. Jeff shrewdly negotiates the 12 water features down to 8, which is the highest level of Shahs of Sunset tacky he can handle. “Thank god Vanina has that gift of handling difficult clients,” admits Jeff, “because I don’t.”
Night falls on Gramercy, where Jeff is found staring with the intensity of a serial killer at an egg donor’s profile pic. She sports a full pout, Jeff Lewis jawline, and even with blurred out eyes, could be Jeff’s long lost sister. So naturally, Jeff wants to whip up a baby with her, STAT. Gage is creeped out that Jeff keeps choosing chicks who look like him as potential baby mamas, but Zoila Chavez wants the baby to be all Jeff. “Another Gage? No way,” says Zoila. (By the way, is anyone else noticing how little Zoila is appearing in this season thus far? I get the feeling she’s being phased out before her retirement, but it may be too soon to tell.)
Driving to a job site the next day, Jeff gets call from Gage with bad news about Stewie: he’s got aggressive cancer (carcinoma) in his kidney and lungs and they’ve only got a few days to a few weeks before the end. Jeff silently accepts the news while Jenni tries to comfort him, as she knows the sadness Jeff’s gone through in years past when losing beloved pets, who are like children to him.
The next day, Jeff asks Jenni to clean out all medications that are Monkey’s or Stewie’s from the cabinet. He whispers to her that they’ll likely put Stewie down the next day, but he doesn’t want to talk about it. He’d rather focus on work. Jenni knows Jeff shuts down by compartmentalizing, which she attributes to him having lost his mom at a very young age and throwing himself into work from then on. Jeff knows that if Jenni talks to him, she’ll start to cry, which he can’t handle right now.
To distract themselves from the sad circumstances at hand, Gage and Jeff go over cost figures as they drive themselves to the fertility clinic to hand over their semen samples. In a consultation with the doctor beforehand, they’re surprised to learn that embryo options include choosing the gender of the baby before implantation in a surrogate. Wow! I had no idea that was an option in this process. #themoreyouknow Jeff interviews that he secretly wants to switch the order of things a bit because Gage wants a boy as their first child, but Jeff will be the donor. Jeff knows he would make the prettier girl, so he either needs Gage to be the first donor or he needs to convince Gage to choose a female child first. What the eff!? He admits it will be a touchy topic, but plans to soften the blow by administering lots of compliments about Gage’s “masculinity” during the master manipulation. Uh, good plan…?
At the collection lab, the guys fuel up on animal crackers while Jeff grills the lab tech about the fastest semen sample time a dude has ever accomplished. “7 minutes!” she cheerfully says, not knowing the first thing about who she’s dealing with here. And so, a competition is born. Jeff challenges Gage to a semen sample race, but they need to abide by the rules: no lubricant during the act, and pants pulled up with semen in the cup at the end. As opposed to on the floor, which the tech says is, uh, sometimes a problem. “Oh, you have no idea,” she sighs, remembering her 20 year stint at this semen collecting clinic. With nurses gathered around Doors Number 1 & 2, stopwatch set, the guys enter and begin…their duties. After only 3 minutes and 15 seconds, Gage emerges a little rumpled and ghostly pale, but victorious! Ladies and Gentlemen, may we present: The Three Minute Man! Hmmm, Gage wonders, maybe this is nothing to brag about? But he did beat Jeff at something, so he’ll take the win.
After the fertility clinic hi-jinks, Jeff and Gage drive back to the sad reality of losing Stewie soon. Jenni calls them on the road to check in, and Jeff asks her not to bring Stewie up again because he just can’t think about it yet. Gage tearfully interviews that Jeff can joke only up to a point, but when things get painful, he just can’t go on that way. Jenni sweetly interviews that she thinks fate is stepping in: “There is new life coming. And something they cared for and loved is exiting. And I think as sad as that seems, it’s also a beautiful thing because it is the circle of life.” Jeff, for his part, knows Stewie had a happy and full life, and brought a lot of joy to his. RIP, Stewie: 2000-2015.
TELL US: WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT JEFF AND GAGE’S SURROGACY DECISIONS? DO YOU THINK THEIR LOVE FOR THEIR PETS WILL MAKE THEM GOOD PARENTS?
Photo Credit: Bravo
