Oh, Little Women: LA. Can’t you all just get along? All that’s standing between Elena Gant and her dreams of renewing her vows with hubby Preston are the Pacific Ocean and a small tribe of very dysfunctional women ready to, quite literally, sling mud at each other. This week, the ladies travel to Hawaii for Elena’s event. Because they can’t seem to grasp the fact that Elena’s event is (and should be) the center of attention on this trip, Christy McGinty invites the couples to a “therapy” session beforehand, in which tempers explode around Briana Manson’s secret wedding to Matt.
As Terra Jole and Joe (and adorable baby Penny!) arrive in Hawaii first, Terra reflects on how angry the entire group is with Briana. No one is sure how to handle seeing her here, with the possible exception of suck-up Jasmine Sorge. Terra also doesn’t trust Brittney Guzman, who has betrayed Elena in the past. Here’s hoping the group can rally around Elena for her big day, regardless of their issues. (HA! That was hilarious to type.) As the rest of the gang arrive, Christy voices her wishes for the trip: to have multiple orgasms. “I wanna f**k!” says Christy, “I want doggy style! I want every style!” (Ummm, I want to un-hear these words!)
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Tonya Banks, Elena, and Terra gather for drinks after they unpack. Terra tells her side of the argument between Brittney and her, but Elena’s got no time to hear about this petty drama Terra’s trying to stir up. So, shelf that sh*t for now! The group heads to a luau for dinner. Terra shakes her thang, which Tonya appreciates, as do the 400 elderly patrons in the audience.
Brittney and Jasmine arrive a bit later and catch up over drinks on their own. A pink-braided Brittney tells her side of the argument to Jasmine, then gets interrupted by the rest of the group joining them. Still no sign of Bonnie and Clyde. Perhaps they were gunned down in a hailstorm of bullets? Oh, wait! That’s still coming. #truelove #happyendings While Elena wants Briana there, she’s concerned about the group’s ability to get over the Big Secret Marriage Reveal that rocked everyone’s world.
Christy says she’s been thinking. Of what, we ask? Of a couple’s retreat, of course! Because Jasmine and Brittney are there without partners. And Terra and Christy’s husbands get along so well, historically. And Briana and Matt are beloved among all. Not to mention Preston and Elena, who have nothing but extra, idle time on their hands as they host their families and plan for their wedding. Soooo…PERFECT idea! Christy says it will involve mud and healing and fun. Are they in? Sure, they are. Because Lifetime has already made the reservations.
The group starts grilling Jasmine about why she knew about Briana and Matt’s marriage first, considering the fact that they’ve only been friends for four months. Jasmine says, again, that Briana didn’t feel supported. Terra admits she wasn’t, but argues that real friends don’t lie. Something that Brittney thinks is straight up bullsh*t coming out of Terra’s mouth.
Christy wants to know what smack talk Briana spouted while she and Jasmine were french-braiding each other’s hair, being besties these past four months. Jasmine drops the bomb that Matt claims Christy’s husband, Todd, drunkenly claimed he could have had Briana any time he wanted. Christy blames Matt as the mud-slinger, not her husband. Todd vows he never said any such thing, but the jury’s still out on that (considering his sketchy behavior around Briana, who he briefly dated, in seasons past).
The next morning, Terra and Tonya discuss the Todd-bomb on the beach, which just cements Matt’s reputation as a backstabber, in their minds. Tonya invited Brittney to join them for surfing this morning, which Terra isn’t thrilled about. The ladies get instruction on surfing-for-little-people, and valiantly attempt to conquer the waves. Brittney gives up early, but Terra and Tonya get their #littleboss attitudes on and make it happen out there! Get it, girls!
Back on the beach, Terra and Brittney discuss their argument. Terra thinks Brittney just needs to get over it, because she is who she is. Period. Tonya wonders if the age (and maturity) difference is getting in the way, while Terra asks Brittney if perhaps she ever reflects on her own part in the drama? No, Brittney doesn’t. She meanly tells Terra, “Every single day I see you, you bug the f**k out of me!” Brittney is still sore about Terra not wanting her to come to Elena’s wedding. As for Terra, she thinks maybe this friendship has run its course. Time for Brittney to drag her fuchsia braids back to her room and pout.
In Elena’s room, she tries on her wedding dress (number 1), which still doesn’t fit as well as she’d hoped because she can still breathe in it. Terra consoles her, but Elena is not happy. She’s got a million things to do before the event, and is getting salty.
Ding-dong! Guess who came to Hawaii? Briana and Matt! Christy phones to invite them to the couples retreat, but before they can let that sink in, Jasmine shows up at their room to “warn” (read: tattle to) them that she told the group about Todd’s comments about “still wanting” Briana. Matt, of course, couldn’t care less. Briana vows to fight anyone who comes between her and her man. Which doesn’t even make sense. But she’s got her mantra, and she’s sticking to it.
At couples therapy later, Briana/Matt, Christy/Todd, Terra/Joe, and Tonya/Jaa show up to sling mud at each other in an effort to bring their issues to the surface. Because that’s exactly what this group needs, right? After a “water blessing,” the couples pair off to rub clay all over each other. Terra wants to leave this trip with a new connection to Joe and to the rest of the group.
It’s all light hearted fun for a while until Christy takes issue with the shoddy mud-painting job Todd is apparently doing. “I’m not Picasso,” defends Todd. But everyone knows this is not about mud painting. It’s about the Briana comment. Christy channels all her angst and tears in to the mud situation at hand, though, claiming she just wants Todd to do this exercise with the care and attention it deserves. Christy notes the other couples are having fun while Christy, the organizer of this super! fun! activity, is miserable. The activity host comes over to mediate, and Todd shares that his weight has driven a wedge between them because, physically, there’s so much he can’t do. They hold hands and Christy admits she is concerned. She doesn’t want him to die on her. They kiss and make up.
As the mud-caked group comes back together, any peace that’s been brokered is interrupted by Christy stomping off in a huff. Tonya follows, and they discuss how pissed Christy is – again, about the dang mud! But, wait, now she’s complaining about his weight again. Are ya’ll following this? I still argue that Christy was set off by Jasmine’s comment concerning Todd and Briana. Ah! Tonya thinks so too. And now Christy finally admits it. She doesn’t even want Matt and Briana here, she says.
Tonya encourages Christy to speak her truth to Briana. Uh oh. Truth speakin’ is about to ensue, people. Back in the circle of trust, Christy straight up confronts Matt and Briana about why they didn’t tell anyone they got married. Briana says she didn’t feel like anyone cared. She wanted respect, she wanted concern. But no one gave it to her. Christy goes ballistic, calling Briana out as a fake and a liar. She put her heart into a real friendship with Briana and feels betrayed by Briana confiding in Jasmine instead. “You are both a**holes!” screams Christy, as Matt and Briana basically laugh in her crying face. Wow.
Next week on the finale of LWLA, the fight continues, with Matt referring to the “three b*tches talking” around Briana with his usual soft touch. Terra joins the fight, taking on Matt head to head with Christy by her side. Scenes hint that Tonya and Jaa may be taking their relationship to the next level, while Briana and Christy’s relationship continues to deteriorate after Christy finds texts between Briana and Todd on Todd’s phone. The plot thickens. Meanwhile, Elena is still just trying to get her vows renewed. (Remember that?)
TELL US: DO YOU THINK TODD SAID HE STILL WANTS BRIANA? IS BRITTNEY AND TERRA’S FRIENDSHIP OVER? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT CHRISTY’S OUTBURST?
Photo Credit: Lifetime
