The crew aboard Valor has been carefully assembled, the first charter is behind them, and Captain Lee Rosbach has laid down the rules.
What could go wrong so early in the season on Below Deck?
Trevor Walker. That’s what. SENIOR deckhand under first-time bosun Kelley Johnson, Trevor came out of the gate trying everyone’s patience (and testing our vomit reflexes with his private bunk habits), but this week he decides to secure his place as #1 Boat Villain when he snarks all over Nico Scholly about…what else? Tattoos! Yes, we’re sinking that low. Drop anchor! Grab your life vests! Every man for himself!!!!!
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The crew is finishing up their charter with Ladies-Who-Meet-Online-Then-Book-Yachts-Together. All is going smoothly, except for the fact that Trevor is driving everyone insane. Especially Kelley, who needs to manage his arrogant a$$ while not making too many waves with Captain Lee about it.
Kelley puts on his big boy bosun pants to talk to Trevor one-on-one about his attitude, which co-deckhands Nico and Lauren Burchnell do not appreciate. Trevor seems to take the feedback well, but admits he’s pissed that Nico and Lauren went to Kelley behind his back.
Chief stew Kate Chastain is loving this charter. They are sweet and low maintenance. Except, of course, they want a beach party! Which Kate hates throwing. But since she’s a pro, she slaps a smile on and plans it anyway. Chef Ben Robinson is also growing tired of cooking gluten-free, wheat-free, food-free vittles. But he is loving cute new second stew, Emily Warburton-Adam, who he and Kate would like to adopt based on her adorableness alone.
Emily and third stew, Sierra Storm, seem to be getting along well too. Sierra is no Mensa candidate, but she is certainly smiley! (Maybe too smiley for Kate though, who thinks only psycho people have resting happy faces.) Emily even tries not to seem too shocked when Sierra shares a bit about her dalliances with women back in college. Poor Emily is surrounded by sexual confusion.
As Nico sets up for the beach party, he wonders where the SENIOR deckhand is? After scarfing his lunch down, Trevor finally joins Nico – not to actually work, mind you, but to arrange stick lettering on the sand and stare blankly ahead while Nico single-handedly wrestles with a tent. Nico is not impressed.
The guests are impressed with their beach party though! And Kate is loving her stew crew thus far; they seem willing to listen and learn, two qualities sorely lacking in, ahem, certain stews of the past.
As lunch is served, Nico frantically runs to and fro, setting up umbrellas and generally acting like the male version of Cinderella (pre-royal ball) while Kelley ogles his favorite charter guest, the bikini-clad Kelsey. He must remember his own advice: HANDS OFF THE GUESTS! But he is practically bursting with repressed hormonal urges. Meanwhile, Sierra is ogling Kelley and Nico, the hotties of the bunch. (Although, when you’ve got 3 deckhands to choose from and one’s got a wonky eye and delusions of grandeur, the other two may look a trifle better!?)
After the beach party, Nico complains to Lauren about Trevor’s extreme douchiness laziness. Lauren feels an instant bond with Nico over their shared hatred of Trevor. They are like soldiers fighting a common enemy here, which doesn’t bode well for their supposed “superior.”
As Ben cooks, Trevor joins him in the galley to brag about his “#BeachParty” stick creation. Seriously. Ben, always a fan of the underdog, can’t even deal with this dude. His assessment thus far: Trevor is “an odd duck.”
Dinner is served, but the guests are not thrilled with Ben’s barley creations, which contain the evil gluten! He admits his f–k up to Kate, who smooths things over, then brings some followup dishes. Ben comes out to apologize afterward too, which the guests accept happily. As long as they can Instagram this sh*t, it’s A-okay with them! Also, Ben continues to win MVP for Most Mature Person on a reality series. He always accepts his part in mistakes (in the end), which is a refreshing change of pace.
After dinner, Kelsey summons a shirtless Kelley to come up from his bunk to…play Connect Four with her. That’s all they’re allowed to do, after all. Kelley is proud of himself for scoring a hot, rich girl, even if all he can do is play board games with her like a 9-year old. He’ll take what he can get.
The next morning, Trevor gloats that “Me and Kelley were a little bit nervous” about the green crew, but things are working out nicely now! Nico can’t believe the cojones on this guy. Trevor is Dwight Schrute to Kelley’s Michael Scott, which I guess makes poor Nico and Lauren, well, Jim and Pam. Except they tragically can’t break the fourth wall and roll their eyes at the camera. (I am rolling mine for you, Nico and Lauren!!)
Trevor then asks Nico about his wrist tattoo, which Nico explains says “relentless.” Let’s use that word in a sentence: Relentless. Your relentless douchey behavior is making me feel murdery. Relentless. Trevor is not impressed, so he takes the opportunity to show off his gigantic, beyond-corny jellyfish shoulder tattoo to Nico and Emily. But wait, it actually does have deeper meaning, as it’s sadly in remembrance of a friend who passed away (I think he said a “friend”?). He also has other drawings/platitudes tattooed across his body for more nefarious reasons, which he goes into boring detail explaining, but Nico wanders off before Trevor attempts getting too deep on him.
The next morning, the guests tell Kate they are sad to leave while Sierra rushes to fetch Captain Lee a cup of coffee – with an entire sugar packet (still in the paper) thrown into it. Obviously in a good mood, Lee just laughs it off. Sierra was also late getting up, which Kate lightly scolds her about. She promises it won’t happen again.
But matters of toast take breakfast service (already Ben’s worst time) over the edge. The stews are in charge of toast, but the toast is burned. Ben’s all, Take care of the toast!! Kate’s all, I didn’t event know toast was HAPPENING! They get over #ToastGate quickly, though, hugging and making up right after breakfast ends.
Docking goes smoothly, despite Trevor complaining “You’re f–king killing me, guys!” and “Are you happy, Captain!?” as he wraps the rope under his tutelage. Kelley is shocked at Trevor’s mouth. Nobody talks to a captain that way, especially Captain Lee Stud Of The Sea!
But Kelley’s got his own inappropriate behavior to get in check, as he lounges beside Kelsey for photos before the guests take off. Trevor notes this professional blurring of boundaries, saving it in his arsenal for later. He thinks Kelley is a hypocrite.
In any case, the guests leave happy, even expressing their love for Captain Lee on the way out! The head charter hands over a fat envelope, leaving the crew to turn the boat around for the next charter.
As they clean, Emily tells Kate about her wish list for a man: brains, wit, looks, but feet and genitalia don’t matter. Mmmkay. Kate, meanwhile, is sort of lusting after cutie pie Nico. Except he’s 22. And Kate has a girlfriend.
Tip meeting! Captain Lee mildly congratulates them, which Kate reads as high praise and Trevor reads as a diss. I mean he, alone, raised this charter tip, yo! Doesn’t everyone fully appreciate his mad SENIOR deckhand skills!? Whatevs. The tip turns out to be $15K, not too shabby for their first time out. The crew is pleased. And they get a night off to celebrate! Let the drama begin.
But first, Trevor decides to shirk his boat cleaning duties to buy a truck online – in front of Ben and Captain Lee. Wondering how many fries short of a happy meal Trevor is, Captain Lee just sits mum while Trevor brags “I just spent $14,000 on a car!” Lee sums it up succinctly: “Moron.”
Lauren and Nico are already scrubbing and swabbing, annoyed that Trevor is again MIA. In a karmic twist of fate, Kate wants to put Trevor’s “engineering skills” to use by forcing him to unclog a sh*tty toilet. HA! So, all is right with the world. Until Trevor tells Kelley “Um, I’m busy” when Kelley calls him to the deck to work. At this point, it’s important to note that Trevor is, as it turns out, NOT busy. Kelley reams him out with the “I’m your boss!” speech when they come face to face. Something tells me that this line has never and will never work on Trevor.
Out to dinner later, the crew toast to a great charter behind them and a great season ahead. Since Kelsey is no longer dangling in front of him, Kelley sets his sights on Emily, whose qualifications include: “A cute accent…and she’s here.” Run, Emily, RUN!! Girl, go call Jennice!! Down this road, heartbreak awaits.
Everyone keeps themselves in check though, except for Trevor, who plans to spend his entire tip on drinks tonight. He is #Wasted. And turning into an even bigger a$$hat, if that’s possible. Kelley tries to talk to drunk Trevor about his relationship with his deckhands, which is a futile effort.
They get nowhere, but somehow end up in the hot tub together with Nico later on. Ben and Kate think this impromptu hot tub bromance is hilarious. They are staying far, far away from that sh*t show. So is Lauren. She’s no fool!
Nico is reaping the bitter rewards of his poor hot tub decision though, as Trevor immediately starts razzing him about his fading tattoo, which Nico got when he was 14. They are not as noble and quotable as Trevor’s deep, meaningful body art! “Look at MY tattoos!” Trevor brags like a child who just got a Superman logo press-on for his fourth birthday.
Nico is done with this clown. He exits the hot tub party ASAP, leaving Kelley to attempt talking sense into Trevor for the 95th time in three days. Trevor of the zero self awareness has no idea what he did wrong though!? He’s got the SENIOR tattoos, dude! Kelley, finally exhausted, literally orders Trevor to bed. Where he can eat some snot and get some rest before torturing everyone afresh the next day.
Lauren and Nico debrief later with Kate and Ben, who agree Trevor is basically a child. Trevor overhears the conversation and comes in to confront Nico. But Kelley just keeps ordering Trevor to bed (even Ben joins in the directive!) but Trevor is all arms-crossed and pouting, standing his ground. Finally, he skulks off after he realizes no one here is interested in dealing with him for One. More. Second.
Yet they have to spend and entire charter season with him. It’s going to be a long one.
TELL US: IS TREVOR CAPABLE OF WORKING WITH THIS CREW? WAS KELLEY A HYPOCRITE?
Photo Credit: Bravo
