Below Deck Recap: The Sea Was Angry

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On last night’s Below Deck, the guests are vomiting, the pool almost drifts out to sea, trouble brews between the newly besotted duo of Emily Warburton-Adam and Ben Robinson, and Ben’s open resentment of Kate Chastain grows. Kelley Johnson is also not having a stellar week as tension continues to rise between Captain Lee Rosbach and him.

But none of that really matters because this happens: Kyle Dixon confesses that he “came out” to his parents at one point in his life, and that he prefers sex with transgender partners.

Okay. Either Kyle is desperately trying to take the place of Trevor Walker as most bizarre deckhand ever, or he’s hatching a cover story to mask his icky feelings after Sierra Storm stone cold rejected him last week. In any case, our boy Kyle appears to be TOTALLY INSANE!

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After Lauren Burchnell snatched Nico Scholly away from a safety-related conversation with Kate, Kate thinks she’s owed an apology the next day. But Lauren is too busy swabbing the deck with her crew, and hearing an earful about Sierra from Kyle, to address that issue right now. Meanwhile, Sierra thinks she’s being unfairly persecuted, since she claims she was totally clear with Kyle from the jump that she wasn’t interested. Uh – nope! Ben and Emily are possibly the only crew members in a great mood. Their date the night before went well, and it might be a love connection.

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Kelley is called to the bridge to get reamed out about last night’s half-eaten pizza trail. If Captain Lee has to deal with this sort of thing again, the entire crew will be relegated to their quarters on nights off. Kelley is all “aye aye, cap’n!” Because he’s on a very short leash, and he feels it tightening.

Kate and Ben discuss Kelley’s issues, which are a many splendored thing. Kate nails Kelley, noting that he’s got a fragile ego, and any threat to it (Ben and Emily dating, Captain Lee’s micromanaging) shatter him to pieces. Kelley walks in to apologize to Kate, knowing she is a person he doesn’t want to be on the wrong side of. Ben tries a teensy bit to smooth things over with Kelley about Emily, but basically just resorts to “I’m sorry” when Kelley peaces out half way through their conversation to lick his wounds in private.

Time to get to know the next charter guests! It’s a psychic friends sorta thing, which Kate digs, and Captain Lee internally eye-rolls. Kate’s all about these yoga-tantric-voodoo chicks coming on board! Ben just hopes she’s not gluten free. Sierra is excited to meet someone who can talk to the voices in her head.

Kelley prepares for charter by gathering his deck crew for a pep talk. No more dropped pizza! Lauren is sick of the nitpicking, but Kelley says they’re on their second strike. He vows that they, themselves, need to be psychic on this trip, dammit, and predict each and every need of these next charter guests – or else! Nico is all, calm down dude! He’s sick of Kelley’s emotional management. In the universe of Myers Briggs-like yacht personality types, Nico might peg Kelley as a Complainer-Whiner. (But what font would he be? And why can’t Kate bring that shtick back just one more time, pretty please?!)

The guests arrive to some Spooky Soundtrack By Bravo, and Kate is underwhelmed by the lack of crystals and tie-die on the primary psychic. After the champagne welcome and yacht tour is over, the guests lounge on the sun deck and get to know Kelley…and his toys. The cute dudes aboard love them some Kelley! So, at least he’s making a good impression on someone.

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Buoyed by his warm guest relations, Kelley gets back to work assembling the slide, which the speedo-clad guests also love. As they whoop it up, Kelley and crew notice that – oops! – the sea pool is drifting out into the bay. Nico hangs his head, wondering just how much more they can f–k up as a deck crew in the captain’s eyes? Answer: Oh, more. Much more!

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That night, Kyle does some warming up to the guests too. He says the gay guys aboard remind him of his blokes back home, and he’s all about getting to know them. And, oddly, their “coming out” stories? More on this later.

Captain Lee joins the guests for dinner and is told by the psychic that he’s got a “good aura” and seems like a “good captain.” The look on his face reads: Please stop speaking aloud near me. But he suffers through more psychic thoughts by candlelight anyway, which finally (mercifully!) end when the totally off-the-mark psychic just gives up and focuses on more productive endeavors. Like eating.

As Captain Lee suffers above, the deck crew sweats it out below. Kelley doesn’t like how cozy Kyle is getting with the guests, which Kyle calls bullsh*t on.

Back at dinner, Kate gets a psychic reading next. She has a “particular man” around her who she’s “waiting for.” Ben overhears the reading and thinks it’s all about the Benjamin. Emily hears it too, so Ben freaks out, denouncing the idea immediately. No! Not me! “I promise, Ems!” he implores, freaking out that a psychic might come between him and his current squeeze.

The next day, the weather shifts. And so does the mood of the crew, who are now saddled with puking charter guests who can barely stand up without being chucked into a railing by the high winds and choppy waters. In fact Rebecca, the primary, can’t even leave her room to snatch some Dramamine from her friend due to her seasickness.

Finally anchoring Valor, Captain Lee says this is the best they’re going to do until the weather passes. Kelley takes off to pick up the yoga instructor anyway, hoping the guests rally with the promise of some emergency Zen.

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As half the guests practice yoga (on a much calmer deck now), the other half manage to get some breakfast down. So, things are improving considerably! But Ben wonders if this is breakfast or brunch? “It’s their first meal of the day,” Kate deadpans, sensing that Ben is about to get in a trademark snit about when and where and how many meals will be demanded of him today. He complains that he never knows what the f–k is going on! But Kate ain’t about to interrupt anyone’s downward god to bug them about meal times. Ben will just have to deal with it, though he does make sure to grumble to Emily about Kate (for insurance against that psychic reading, no doubt).

Speaking of grumbling, Captain Lee has some to do. He asks Kelley what happened with the runaway pool? Kyle didn’t tie the line properly. Lee accepts this answer, and dismisses Kelley. But he seems to file it away in his “100 Reason Why” list that will be used against Kelley later.

Finally unlocked from her cabin, Rebecca eats and gets her bearings for the day. While Ben totally loses his! He wants to know WHEN the guests are eating! And he doesn’t like this “first meal of the day” drivel Kate has trotted out! His hissy fit ends abruptly when Captain Lee radios to tell Ben and Kate that he can hear them fighting all the way above board. So can the guests. Ah – and so can Emily, who sees Ben and Kate’s sparring as a sign of buried feelings, not disdain. She suspects there is still a spark between them, despite Ben’s protestations to the contrary.

Kate has no more time for arguing about first, second, or tenth meals of the day. For now, she must help scatter the ashes of a charter guest’s aunt! Because, despite what Ben thinks, Kate’s job (like all of theirs) is to cater to the guests’ every wish and whim, not to foist their own agenda on the clientele.

Back in the galley, Ben apologizes to Kate, which she brushes off, then he gets back to the business of cooking and reassuring Emily that all is well in paradise. Emily is not so sure. She wants a psychic reading to sort things out, but is afraid to ask. But Kate is just afraid of the loony psychic now, who chatters throughout dinner about having hundreds of dead celebrities on speed dial. Because heaven has technology, yo! And she plans on creating the phone that can connect to its WiFi. Kate is like, Here’s your filet mignon! I’ve gotta go grab my pepper spray and tin foil hat now – thaaaaaanks! 

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Before bed, Emily is offered her psychic reading, gratis! As Cindy (the B-team psychic on board?) reveals some tidbits to Emily, Ben wanders in to pointedly ask, “Do me and Ems have a future?” Cindy asks if he really wants her to answer? He squirms, then says yes. Clearly uncomfortable, Cindy tries to wriggle free of Ben’s request, then puts her foot down. She’s not answering that question.

Ben bristles, then baldly insults Cindy’s psychic abilities. So she finally just answers him: “No, I don’t.” Hurt and pouty, Ben asks Emily out on a date for the next day in front of Cindy, which Emily sheepishly agrees to. “Lovely chatting with you,” Ben snarks at Cindy on the way out, who hopes he doesn’t poison her coffee in the morning. He’s for sure poisoned their tip, which an eavesdropping Lauren susses out from the next room. She and Emily are both shocked at Ben’s whiny, petulant behavior toward a guest over a poorly received psychic reading – which he claims not to believe in anyway! I am too, frankly.

It’s the last day of charter, and Lauren is just now realizing that Kate is giving her the cold shoulder. Kate has her own issue to address, though, when she finds out what Ben did to Cindy. She can’t believe how inappropriate his dumb arse can get when left unchecked! But Ben has no regrets. He’d do it again if given the chance.

As the guests leave, Kyle makes sure to remind his blokes to find him on Twitter. Rebecca assures the crew that they had a wonderful time, and even throws in some encouragement to Ben and Emily about their relationship. But Emily wonders afterward if Rebecca was looking at Ben and Kate when she referenced “the romance” on board? The paranoia is strong in this one. Ben is just glad the “witches” are leaving.

Later on, Ben Skypes with his brother, James, who he wants to visit him sometime on charter. James is noncommittal.

Tip meeting! Captain Lee is not thrilled about the pool SNAFU. When Nico speaks up to defend the deck crew, Kelley’s back goes up. Lee also doesn’t want to hear the interior crew shrieking at each other anymore. Kate says it won’t happen again. The tip, despite Ben’s antics, is good: $15k. The crew is satisfied.

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Ben and Emily head out on date number two, which he hopes leads to a future together. Someone is sure counting his chickens! He explains his issue with the psychic, then takes a stroll with Emily, who thinks he’s a “true gentlemen.” They smooch out on a picnic table for awhile, then head back to Valor, where Kyle saunters into the mix to share a little bit about his past. Get ready to be thoroughly confused in 3…2..1…

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After Kate joins the convo, Kyle shows them a video of him as a street performer – in drag. “I came out to my dad with this song,” says Kyle, much in the tone one would say, “I became a vegetarian that summer.” Everyone within earshot is like: WTF!? Kate wonders, is he gay? Emily wonders why Kyle was after Sierra so hard if he bats for the other team?

Kyle then explains that he’s been partial to transgender partners ever since his days in the army when he “hooked up with one by accident.” Kate sips her drink while she also sips on this piping hot tea Kyle is spilling everywhere. Kyle then adds that Ashley is transgender, who’s still “got meat and two veg.” WHAT IS HAPPENING HERE?

Ashley is apparently the transgender woman Kyle has waiting in the wings back home, which begs the question: Why was he pursuing Sierra? And why did he berate her for having a side piece back home if he did too? The more important question looms large though: Did Kyle assume Sierra was TRANS? And, where oh WHERE is that psychic right now? Could she not have given anyone a heads up on this sh*t?!?! Dayum.

TELL US: WHAT DO YOU MAKE OF KYLE’S REVELATION? DOES BEN STILL HAVE FEELINGS FOR KATE? IS EMILY GETTING TURNED OFF BY BEN’S BEHAVIOR? 

Photo Credit: Bravo

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