It’s Day 26 on Celebrity Big Brother, and we’re promised housemates in the dock. This should be good, but dish out the ear plugs now.
Yet again, Jedward are subject of conversation in the house. And the garden. And pretty much everywhere. Well, not in the store room, where Kim has been staring at the washing machine for five minutes. I was wrong about the label on the tumble dryer; clearly, it is needed. Jedward are in the garden, with John pretending to be a gymnast representing Ireland in the Olympic Games. One’s commentating and ones dancing. I re-iterate once more, these boys are 25.
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So this weekend is Final Judgement weekend and Big Brother has some tricks up his little sleeve. The housemates are all on trial, with the crime of ‘Failure to Deliver’ being the charge to them all. Judge is former housemate Vanessa Feltz, and for witnesses, we have Austin Armacost, Luisa Zuissman, Saira Khan, and John McCririck.
First up is Bianca, who had said she wasn’t a wallflower when she was entering the house. Judge Feltz wants to know what happened. Saira is called as first witness who says Bianca is a lovely housemate, but has let herself down, having a boyfriend on the outside. Luisa interrupts, saying that Bianca and Jamie should have banked the romance until the outside, and that Bianca’s behavior hasn’t done her any favors. She’s not wrong.
Next Nicola takes the stand. Luisa is called, saying that Nicola is too confrontational, coming across as paranoid and horrible, especially to Jedward. Of course they’re thrilled. Nicola admits it, saying that’s not her intention, but she’s aware of how it looks. John asks why she can’t stop swearing. Nicola asks why he can’t stop being a pr*ck. Good point, well made.
Then we have Jedward on the stand, with the statement that John made saying there was “zero out of ten chance” of them starting an argument. He justifies himself by explaining he calls Nicola the ‘Blair Witch’ and that she has manipulated the others. He pulls the “bullies” word, which Judge Feltz jumps on straight away saying that no one is being accused of bullying anyone. They start to argue, and she tells them to be quiet.
Austin is called as witness, and Jedward starts on him, too. They are given a final warning to be quiet. Austin points out it’s their behavior that causes the arguments and aggression, and the fact that no one else likes them speaks wonders. Jedward are defensive again and start getting louder. Jamie calmly say that they have segregated themselves and it causes issues. Jedward won’t listen and say it’s the other way round. Nothing is resolved.
James C is called next. Saira praises him and his character but says that he disengages and no one really knows him. James C apologizes and points out the differences between the house and the real world. I think it’s actually just his age and generation that dictates his behavior rather than anything else.
Kim takes the stand. Judge Feltz reminds Kim that she said she would only ever cause an argument if provoked. Kim is unrepentant, and Luisa points out there’s a difference between standing up for herself and starting for no reason. Luisa points out how ridiculous she looked being escorted out by security, spilling drinks and staggering, and now, is quiet as a mouse. Saira points out she comes across as nasty. Vanessa says that did she think that if she had come in quietly she would still be in the house, hence why the arguments at the beginning. Kim denies it, but it’s clear that’s a common thought amongst all.
Jamie is called to the dock next, to be questioned by John McCririck, who says that “showmance” is the word of the moment, and is he trying to get the viewers votes with that. Jamie denies it, and some very half-hearted arguments are given.He gets off lightly.
Calum is brought up next, and accused of not opening up, as he had promised he would. Saira tells him that the relationship Calum showed with his mum was amazing to see and the making of him, but that since she has gone, he has turned boring.
Before he leaves the dock, Calum is reminded that before he entered the house he was asked if he’d ever betrayed a friend and he said no. A clip is then shown where Calum is telling Nicola he believe the Jamie and Bianca thing to be a showmance. Bianca and Jamie are not impressed, and Calum is shaken but trying to be cool. You know this one will come back and bite him on his backside later.
Coleen goes last. John takes the witness stand and talks about her being at the difficult time of life as a woman (he has the moral character that belongs with Jedward). Nicola calls him vile for what he has just said and tells Coleen thank you for being such a good housemate. Coleen doesn’t actually have to defend herself and is allowed from the dock.
The task is finished and Nicola is in the diary room saying that she is going home, as she is always made out to be the bad person and that she’s had enough. James C suggests to Jedward that it may be worth them speaking to Nicola to put it to rest. John says that with all his life experience with girls, he can weigh up a situation, yar di yar di yar. What the actual heck? Someone needs a word with him. Preferably his mother. If that was my child, well, it never would be because mine already has far more respect than this pair, at half the age.
Jamie and Bianca are fuming at Calum. Calum walks up and asks them if they want to talk about it. Fair play to him, for facing them both and apologizing straight away. Jamie and Bianca back down but you know it’s not at rest. Jamie is bringing up the boyfriend card again, which is slightly unfair, seeing as he’d already said it was fine.
Jamie and Kim are buttering each other up and saying how well they did today. Jedward are telling Jedward how brave Jedward are. They cannot leave the house soon enough. Although Bianca and Jamie are annoying me just as much. Neither seem genuine in their own rights.
Later in the evening, Jedward are having a momentously lengthy conversation about John popping a spot. Careful, your head might explode. Kim is in the diary room saying how irrational Nicola is and how easily she flies off the handle. Is this bird for real? Maybe it’s a celebrity thing, where you lose all appreciation of your own behavior. Her and Jedward are well matched.
We finish the show with a pool jumping from Jedward, a water fight with the other housemates, and a smooching session with Jamie and Bianca. It’s as if there were cameras everywhere, waiting for a story line.
Photo Credit: Channel 5
AUTHOR – NICKI M.
