Halleluja! The miracle Lydia McLaughlin has been praying for all season finally happened on last night’s Real Housewives Of Orange County reunion part 2: Vicki Gunvalson sincerely apologized, and made amends with Tamra Judge. It was a real apology, too, not one fueled by alcohol and ratings. It truly was a reunion for once!
Tamicki love each other – they really love each other! Included in this pile of re-love was Shannon Beador. Who may never really forgive David Vicki, but she’ll never get over him her either.
It was the perfect way to end things. And hopefully they’ll truly move on. After all, just how many seasons can we stretch out the indomitable Brooks Ayers drama (it’s going on 5 seasons now!)? We get it – he’s scum, and Vicki was an innocent virginal angel duped because of her saintly loving heart.
Vicki is pretty foolishly gullible. She did take one of Kelly Dodd‘s Adderall after a 24-hour binge drinking fest, then follow it up with a Xanax and some NyQuil like a 20-something Rave Kid from the 90’s. Of course only Vicki would confuse getting “high” with having an heart attack. But seriously – of all the psychiatric drugs to give Vicki – Adderall? Why not a mood stabilizer?
In other situations, Peggy Sulahian finally got her moment to shine, but despite her copper dress, she didn’t come across too brilliantly. As it turns out the timetable of Peggy’s foray onto RHOC was very bad. Two weeks before she was diagnosed with cancer, her father died, and 2 months after that she had a mastectomy. At the very same time she began filming. Losing both her breasts plus her father, it’s hard not to feel terribly sorry for Peggy, but I’m also terribly confused as to why she still decided to do RHOC. Wouldn’t it have been better to postpone a season? Get in fighting shape. Literally. I can only presume that Diko of the ‘arranged/not arranged; controlling/not controlling, just protective’ marriage was behind her decision.
Peggy explains that a lot of her nonsensical babble wasn’t just being an Armenian exchange student, but being in chronic pain while recovering from surgery and loss, and also being on medication. It showed an unsightly side of the women that none of them were very sympathetic to her plight – even last night, hearing everything that happened only Vicki and Lydia expressed empathy. Instead they spent the season literally questioning Peggy’s cancer and speculating that she just got a mastectomy, for what, fun? What would your Jesus do, Tamra? Peggy is insufferable as the Oreo Cookie-Mobile she drives around town, but the cancer sleuthing has got to stop. It’s gross. To quote Vicki, “It’s not a good look.”
Oh, the other big news is that Meghan Edmonds is pregnant and it’s a boy. Didn’t she spend the entire season complaining about how horrible motherhood is and letting a fermented shark eat her baby so she could go play in the snow with a champagne bottle? Well maybe the second time around she’ll like her baby as much as she likes her candles.
However, according to Kelly, Jimmy Dad Jeans Jazz Hands is still cheating. With whom? I mean honestly! Incredibly, Meghan still fails to see the similarity between her texting Kelly to ask if she’s having an affair – based on the word of a twitter user – and Kelly asking in return if Jim is. Meghan asserts that Kelly should’ve asked JIM directly, just as she came to Kelly directly with her concerns. Even Andy looked incredulous. Really Meghan – you still think it’s OK to text your so-called friend this, while believing you deserve an eternal pass for being pregnant? Maybe Peggy should do a follow up questionnaire of, “Do you trust your husband?”
The hilarious hypocrisy of Meghan continues when Kelly reminds us that Meghan wrote in a blog that Kelly dating while separated from Michael was akin to cheating – even though MEGHAN was dating Jim well before his divorce was finalized. Meghan is aghast at being called a mistress. I don’t care if Kelly hits below the belt – she hits it with a truth cannon.
Likewise, I don’t care about Lydia’s squabbling with Shannon. They will always squabble, like two peas in a self-righteous over-reactive pod. Lydia’s manic pixie injustice doesn’t interest me. Maybe she and Meghan should leave the show to open a justice for hurt feelings detective agency.
And now it’s the moment I’ve been dreading all recap long – I have to talk about Tamra “Don’t Judge Me But Let Me Judge You” Judge. UGH. There really aren’t enough UGHs in the world for Tamra. It’s Ugh infinity.
It was Iceland that broke the ice between the ever-present Vicki/Tamra stand-off. See in Iceland the ladies began to thaw after Vicki was escorted out of the hotel with a blanket on her head (because Peggy splashed water in her face and made her hair frizz.), and was welcomed back into the coven with a casserole and champagne (which admittedly does sound like an awesome welcome back!).
Shannon stands by her decision not to accept Vicki’s viking apology, but Vicki insists that with Tamra pressuring her she couldn’t refuse to apologize in the moment. Actually, yes, she could’ve. She could’ve explained over shots of Black Death that she’d rather SKOL with Shannon now, and talk later in private.
Of course, by the time they returned to domestic soil, Tamra was convinced Vicki had ramped up the ‘Eddie Is Gay’ tales to the tabloids and their peace was over. Like all despotic rulers neither allows their guard down to trust the other’s sincerity. Ladies: read some history, your reign of terror is more effective TO-GETH-THER!
Shannon is disappointed again in Vicki – why does Vicki keep ruining all the good with all her bad?! Why can’t they just laugh, have fun and take shots served by men who don’t cheat? Why did Vicki have to go ‘there’ with Gretchen Rossi, desperate has-been and attache to Slave Smiley, definitive scumbag? Because life isn’t fair, Shannon – life isn’t fair, and no one can make you eat cake. But anyways…
As it stands Tamra is STILL devastated – just devastated beyond words – that Vicki continues to spread malicious rumors that make people believe Eddie only loves her for a gym. I have so many thoughts about this. Amazing, huh, considering how long Tamra has been talking about this, and by proxy so have I!
Firstly Tamra allegedly has for months called Shannon daily to cry over how hurt she is that Vicki is destroying her marriage. Oh really? The same Tamra who cannot stop publicly discussing her daughter, despite her daughter repeatedly requesting that she not be mentioned on social media or RHOC, and then using that situation to garner sympathy and prayer groups?
Tamra claims Vicki even had a friend start an online petition seeking for Eddie to come out. So, little thing about me – my JOB is reporting on reality TV gossip and I’ve never heard these rampant stories about Eddie’s sexuality? This was a thing?! Where?
I absolutely agree Vick crossed the line inviting Gretchen and Ricky to her party, and entertaining their salacious gossip about Eddie. Furthermore, Andy is correct – Vicki shrugging that she doesn’t know for certain if Eddie is gay or not, or apologizing by suggesting that Eddie used Tamra for a gym, does spur on speculation, and it’s super wrong. Vicki apologizes at least once a month, and then Tamra tells her she accepts, before changing her mind and deciding it’s not good enough. Basically I just don’t believe Tamra’s moral outrage.
Especially as compared to truly horrible things Vicki did say about Shannon’s marriage, and for those accusations, excuse me: ALLEGATIONS, I think Shannon is rightfully furious, but Tamra is the one who kept the ‘Eddie is gay’ rumor alive. Also, Tamra has made some absolutely disgusting f–ked up ALLEGATIONS about other people and their marriages.
Tamra has also decided Vicki’s actions are homophobic, and Vicki is outraged by this. She fervently denies it, while Tamra shoves her hands in her ears and shrieks “L-l-l-l-l-LIAR!” Andy looks on, disturbed. Like I am not even touching this hot wreck of melted plastic with a fire extinguisher. When Vicki quips that Tamra’s immature antics are “not a good look on her,” Tamra snaps back “Nothing looks good on you.” And Vicki, who was just lecturing Tamra on being immature, stomps off stage to wail that she’s quitting the show and getting a new dress. Vicki is more offended that Tamra called her unattractive than homophobic. And this is where the priorities of RHOC lay.
Lydia chases after Vicki for a dressing room prayer session until a restored Vicki returns to the stage to offer Tamra yet another apology. But this one is a for real-real one. “I surrender” she smiles, admitting that she’s said hurtful, awful untrue things because she felt ostracized, and it’s not OK. She vowed never to discuss Eddie’s sexuality again, and asked that Tamra stop calling her a con woman. Which I think was an important detail. Vicki even agrees, again, that Tamra was right all along about Brooks, and begs, again, for everyone to believe her that she didn’t know. “If you only knew how much time and money I’ve spent on that man…” she sighs. And we well know the sacrifices Vicki made, beside her dignity. Vicki is a fool for her love tank, and a fool and her love tank are soon emptied.
Then Vicki, who was previously called out for giving Shannon an insincere apology, issued Shannon a revised apology too. She seemed earnest, and she promised Shannon that she wants to support her though her divorce, because it will be a horrible time, but that Shannon is strong. In the the end they all just seemed drained by having the same fight over and over, and surrendered to the impossibility of their station. Maybe it is Stockholm Syndrome, at the hands of Bravo?
So Tamra and Vicki hugged tightly, then pulled Shannon into their embrace, and they all cried for better days. Actually, everyone cried. Even Kelly. Until Tamra and Shannon fell down, while Vicki remained standing. If that’s not a metaphor for RHOC, I don’t know what is. That is called ALLEGORY, peeps. And it’s a bitch!
Once they all got situated again, and Vicki apologized approximately 10 more times with tears in her eyes as Tamra cried without tears at all, Tamra patted the sofa between herself and Shannon, welcoming Vicki back into the fold. They held hands on the sofa and Vicki bestowed the ultimate honor of offering the newly single Shannon a job at Coto Insurance. Because this is one thing that makes Vicki good TV: she always times a faux pas perfectly.
Andy warned the three Faux-Migas that this was real; not reality TV, but real life, and it would be difficult to forgive sincerely, so they have to communicate, be open and stay honest. They all promised to, and I hope they mean it. My dream is that next season Vicki, Tamra, Shannon, and Kelly are all friends and there are three new ladies for them to fight against, together (yes, I want Meghan, Peggy, and Lydia to go away). Housewives always work better when the core friend unit stays intact. Vicki and Tamra are meant to be together. Who else will have home? #FreeSteve
So for now they all laughed, and made plans to get a drink together after the reunion. As Vicki and Tamra walked backstage arm in arm, buoyantly, Vicki asked, “Are we back?” “We’re back,” smiled Tamra. They are again Bad Lucy & Bad Ethel, and there is friendship cake, and friendship bracelets. So like fat through the lipo tube, these are the days of our lives.
I for one was pleased to see things end on a good note, finally ending the Brooks Saga (vol. 20,753 like the Odyssey) and I feel like I need to toast away the Black Death with some casserole and champs and cake – oh my!
TELL US – DO YOU THINK PEGGY SHOULD COME BACK NEXT SEASON? WILL TAMRA, VICKI, AND SHANNON STAY FRIENDS? HAVE WE HEARD THE LAST OF THE BROOKS SAGA?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]
