On last night’s Real Housewives Of Atlanta, Porsha Williams relationship continued to be THE word on the street. Kandi Burrus found herself in hot water for running her mouth. Also, NeNe Leakes got some bad news about Gregg’s health.
It’s Dennis McKinley‘s turn to be in the hot seat and meet Porsha’s mom. They get together at his hookah lounge CRU, which makes perfect sense since Diane doesn’t like the smell of hookah.”Between hookah, hair, and hot dogs, there’s not one other word that begins with ‘H’ that could describe my Dennis,” Porsha brags. Dennis, who doesn’t have hair, but does have the delightful distinction of looking hot dog-esque (sans the ‘hot’ part). Aren’t hookah lounges passe – just like visible panty lines, which Porsha, unfortunately, has in those way too tight jeggings.
Dennis is much more open with Porsha’s mom than he was with his own. Sons do NOT like to disappoint their mamas! He tells Diane, “The energy just connected. It’s just things that are meant to be,” as Porsha looks on, smiling. As if predicting the future Diane wonders if Porsha’s glow could be attributed to pregnancy. She hopes this will happen any day before Porsha’s eggs need botox. Check back next week, Diane!
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While Porsha and Dennis are not engaged yet either, they did take THE EVEN MORE PERMANENT STEP of getting his and hers tattoos. Isn’t a diamond more classy? And also a girl’s best friend – particularly because it can be sold if things don’t work out. Diane has been praying for Porsha to meet a non-Kordell to marry her, i.e. someone who does not control away her Porsha-ness. She believes Dennis fits the bill. Well, a disgruntled mother of the groom plus an overly enthusiastic mother of the bride, plus hot dog catering, smells like a Bravo wedding special to me! I do think Porsha and Dennis are adorable together and seem truly happy.
While Porsha and Dennis are toasting (with water) Across town, Kandi meets NeNe, Marlo Hampton, and Cynthia Bailey for lunch. They are FEASTING on gossip about Porsha’s relationship! Kandi cannot wait to share that Dennis is dating other women – or recently was – and was also getting tattoos and Rolexes for them.
Kandi insists she’s not trying to be negative. Everyone agrees it is not their place to tell Porsha about these allegations. Yes, leave that dirty work to Dennis’s exes! (Wouldn’t Porsha notice if he had like “Alice” inked on his leg? Apparently not, according to her).
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Eva Marcille‘s mother, Michelle, is visiting to help with wedding planning. Eva is not the bridezilla here – Michelle is! Eva’s mom has been married to her dad for 35-years and is very conservative, but they eloped so she never had a wedding. Therefore, Michelle is in overdrive making up for lost time. At the bridal salon Eva “loves” every gown, while Michelle hates them all. Especially the see-thru lace ones (I agree – those are tacky, tacky, tacky! Save those for Real Housewives Of New Jersey), and the ones Michelle chooses keep going up and up in price which has Eva, realizing that she ain’t Leakes rich! Eva eventually gets tired of Michelle’s negativity ruining her bridal bliss and decides to come back in secret to buy her dream dress.
Over lunch, Eva and Michelle argue about the guest list after her mom demands she add extra people regardless of what Eva wants! “If someone feels bad on my wedding it shouldn’t be me,” Eva sniffles as her mother turns into the Executive VP she once was and shuts Eva down efficiently and quickly.
Then Eva’s mom just keeps on eating her food as if nothing has happened while Eva starts crying and leaves the table! “She has so many opinions of what it’s supposed to be that I can’t even remember what I think,” sobs Eva in the bathroom to the Real Housewives Of Atlanta producer. All the drama has Eva wanting to elope, but she will do anything to keep a Bravo wedding on track. Of course, the producer encourages her to share her feelings with Michelle instead. Back at the table they apologize and make a pact to plan this special day together.
Dang – the moms on this show are brutal – like some kind of Mama Mafia!
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Shamari DeVoe tells Ronnie that she dished on their open marriage at the Bailey-Que. Ronnie is not pleased that she is being so open though – see what I did there. Shamari blames meeting Ronnie at 21 for her feeling she needed the open relationship to experience her 20’s without cheating. “But it backfired,” she admits in the confessional. She also shares that they both considered walking away a few times and that she actually did leave him. Now, she is more in love with him than ever – especially after her tumultuous pregnancy and becoming parents. Something they waited so many long years to achieve.
Gregg has decided to go vegan to fight cancer naturally, and is working with a special chef to change his diet. Maybe Vicki Gunvlason was right that juice cures cancer! (I kid). Despite all the goopy green drinks and his dedication to spirituality, the hospital calls to announce that there are still circulating tumor cells in his body. They recommend Gregg undergo chemo immediately. Even with the sobering reality about the aggressiveness of cancer, Gregg is still hesitant about abandoning his faith for traditional medicine.
Shamari and Ronnie throw a $10,000 birthday party for the twins, because as Shamari explains, “Ronald and Roman deserve the best.” I’m sure they do, but if Shamari wants to truly impersonate Phaedra Parks she better hire D’wight because this party was supposed to be royal-themed, but looks like a janky royal mess for all that money spent! The twins are actually napping when the party starts so Ronnie and Shamari put on crowns to represent who this party is really about! royalty in their absence.
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Marlo, “NeNe’s friend” (SHADE) arrives with her 2-year-old nephew, who brings his wallet to the party. Which shows what kind of influence Auntie Marlo is!
Kandi brings Todd Tucker and their son Ace. She has another awkward encounter with Ronnie when he tries to backtrack on his ‘suggestions’ about her career. And just when Shamari is complaining about how Eva came for her at the BaileyQue by saying she needed a makeover, Eva walks through the door looking “Plain Jane” as Shamari called her. OK, first of all, Eva juuuuust had a baby, and second of all, I like that she does a normal mom look and doesn’t front like she’s a billionaire trophy wife with 13 nannies. Instead of shying away from the confrontation, Shamari instantly confronts Eva, who claims she was just trying to play the peach pass game but didn’t mean it like that. “I’m a sunflower, I live for the sun, not the shade,” Eva insists.
Kandi disagrees. “I’m just gonna call her DJ Eva for the way she’s spinning these words,” she jokes. Eva – girl – take a note from Shamari and own your shit!
Regardless of where Ronald and Shamari were all those years ago, today they seem happy. Maybe a little in overdrive with their happiness, but they appear truly devoted to their kids and their marriage. So good for them for working through their issues.
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Kandi seriously has a one track mind this season and that one track is Porsha, Porsha, Porsha as she brushes out a Go Naked wig (ala The Brady Bunch). In the middle of a business meeting, she asks Don Juan and Todd if she should confront Porsha with the gossip she heard about Dennis. Even Don Juan, who is as messy as a pig pen, is even like “NOPE!” because the message will be received like a slap in the face. Unfortunately, when you gossip, you just can’t be accountable for who repeats your words. And unfortunately someone ELSE at that lunch Kandi had with NeNe, Cynthia, and Marlo told Porsha all about what Kandi has been saying.
Of course, Porsha told Dennis, who called all his exes to find out what they’ve been telling Kandi. Then the exes called Kandi to complain about her running her mouth! Time for Kandi to get a new number! Also, I thought text messages would make the game of telephone extinct? Those words on the street in Atlanta, though…
Kandi blames NeNe for the loose lips, but my money was on Marlo‘s nephew’s wallet, Porsha’s new BFF because Marlo loves to stir up trouble in any form! “This is bad,” sighs Don Juan. I’ve always kinda loved that guy for his pragmatism. The extras on Real Housewives Of Atlanta are the best.
All of this comes to a head at a wine tasting Cynthia hosts to announce the opening of her new wine bar. Um, nobody cares about Bailey Bottles (or whatever it’s called), but one thing about wine is that getting Real Housewives tipsy guarantees they will also get feisty and argumentative! So maybe this is a great venture!
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As if trying to bait Kandi into saying something Porsha will NOT shut up about Dennis and all the wonderful things about him. Kandi recognizes what Porsha is trying to do and finally just admits that yep, she has been talking all about the tattoos, Rolexes, and free food Dennis is giving away ’round these Atlanta streets. Kandi also pinpoints NeNe as the culprit for telling Porsha, which NeNe resoundingly denies. Too bad Porsha puts her on blast in the confessional!
Of course, Porsha obviously does not care about Kandi’s, or anyone else’s opinion, nor does she give a hoot about the past. Dennis has her name written on his body and that means something now! I’m actually impressed by how maturely Porsha handled this confrontation. There was no freaking out, no yelling. PORSHA – of all people – calmly explaining that she does not want to hear Kandi’s messy opinion. “She should be too busy selling hot dogs penises and butt plugs to be worrying about Dennis is doing,” snips Porsha. Who also warns that Kandi is going down the “WRONG ROAD” in their barely cemented friendship.
Well, Porsha is having her hot dogs and hookah and eating them too. Kandi should take this as a sign to leave it alone. She can focus on barking up somebody else’s tree. Of course, I think Kandi is going to stop at nothing to get some revenge this season. I hope I’m wrong!
TELL US – DID NENE DO THE RIGHT THING IN TELLING PORSHA? DO YOU THINK SHAMARI AND RONNIE’S MARRIAGE REALLY HAS BEEN HEALED?
[Photo Credits: Bravo]