It’s safe to say that the Charmers Colorado trip has been filled with highs and highs and highs and lows, and last night’s episode of Southern Charm was just as hot and cold…and not just in the natural springs! After a night with the wicked weed, the group munches on a hearty breakfast before heading to the hot springs. Austen Kroll and Madison LeCroy conveniently found their way into the same bed, and Shep Rose can’t handle their early morning PDA. You know what I can’t handle, flashbacks of a grown man unable to function because he can’t handle his marijuana mashed potatoes!
Cameran Eubanks and an even more awkward than normal Whitney Sudler-Smith are taking the next plane back to Charleston. After her trip with the ganja gang, Cameran misses daughter Palmer more than ever, and Whitney…? Well, Whitney must feel embarrassed after what when down at dinner with Kathryn Dennis, right?
The group heads to the hot springs, and Kathryn has seriously brought her 70’s ski chic A-game with this wardrobe. Am I wrong, or did Shep borrow a bathing suit out of the lost-and-found to wear on this adventure. Chelsea Meissner is channeling her inner Russian czar (and I’m here for it!), and she, Kathryn, Shep, and Craig Conover dissect Madison and Austen’s relationship conversation from a distance. Madison is ready to settle down, but Austen hasn’t gotten all the partying out of his system, no matter how much he cares about her…which he claims is a lot. She hates that Shep and Craig are his role models, but he argues that they are merely his running mates. Big difference!
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After their iin-depthdiscussion, Madison complains to Kathryn while Craig reminds Austen that his ex is a man-eater. On the way back to their lodging, Craig opines about the Colorado wildlife, warning Austen to steer clear of wild cougars pumas. Everyone is packing for their return home, and Austen takes a moment to apologize for not talking to her prior to hosting the THC feast. She explains how persecuted she was in this group for her drug use, but it’s all fun and games for them in Colorado!
Madison and Shep’s truce from the night before is short-lived, as she bitches to him about having such an opinion on their relationship. She accuses Shep and Craig of pressuring Austen to party, but Shep assures her he’s just fine going out sans Austen. Her reasoning is refuted, as Craig reminds her that all of her issues are actually with Austen and not them. There’s a good little lawyer, Craig! Shep scoffs that Madison isn’t skilled in the art of argument, and he’s right, but she arrogantly promises to debate him under the table. She then brings up the fact that all of their girlfriends have cried over his treatment of them.
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Shep defends himself as a good friend and an open book, stating he deals in facts, not feelings. If he wants facts, Madison has them. Doesn’t he recall that one time he gave Danni Baird chlamydia? I didn’t see that coming! Neither did Danni, who looks appalled (but I can’t tell if she also looks pissed this secret is out). She seethes that the accusation is a blatant lie, and if Madison wants to spar with Shep, that’s one thing, but bringing Danni’s reputation into the fray is quite another. Shep also denies this allegation, but damn if his foot isn’t fidgeting like crazy!
Craig questions if Madison got that intel from Austen, and Shep congratulates her for the shock value. If she was looking to hurt three people at once, mission accomplished. He excuses himself after stating that he did, in fact, just argue her to the ground. He relays Madison’s behavior to Chelsea and Eliza Limehouse’s beau in the next house. Eliza is smart enough to sleep through all the madness! When Austen and Kathryn exit her room, he can immediately sense that something has gone down with Madison. When Madison refuses to tell Austen what happened, Craig is quick to relay the exchange. Austen yells at Madison before heading next door to apologize—he’s not sure where she got that ridiculous information! Except he may have told her that tidbit of gossip…oops!
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When Kathryn asks to be brought up to speed, Madison admits that she pissed off Danni before Danni responds with guns blazing. She has been nothing but supportive of Madison’s relationship with Austen. Why did Madison feel the need to drag her through the mud? Instead of apologizing LIKE A NORMAL PERSON WOULD, Madison quips that Danni should go smoke her menthols and STFU. Not her finest moment, for sure. Is Craig filming this fight on his phone? Kudos! Danni cries to Kathryn for a moment before heading back to her room, and Kathryn is left slightly dumbfounded, but looking fabulous AF.
Chelsea feels for Danni, true or not, that accusation is mortifying. Shep interjects that it is completely false, and he berates himself for apologizing to Madison for his “white trash” comment. Austen is annoyed, but also torn because he know Madison must also be upset over this turn of events. He hates to see her cry, but this side of her has always bothered him. She cuts deep and fights dirty. Chelsea asks, “Did you tell her that?” And Austen responds that it was one of the bigger issues in their relationship. No, Chelsea clarifies…did he tell her the Shep/Danni rumor? He chokes out a no, but it’s so evident he’s lying.
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Austen confronts Madison, but she refuses to apologize. After all, Danni is the one who told Craig that Madison contacted her boyfriend on Instagram…which she did. She spews venom, and Austen asserts that this is why he can’t trust her. She’d rather use the ammunition she has even if it betrays a confidence. It’s a nasty trait, but it’s so damn cute to Austen who is compelled to console her. Shep announces that the bus has arrived to take them to the airport. We’re spared the footage, but it couldn’t have been worse than the ride into Steamboat!
Back in Charleston, Craig is Skyping with his parents. He regales them with stories about Shep’s Little Craig and his burgeoning pillow empire. How long is that going to be a thing? Downtown, Cameran, mom Bonnie, and baby Palmer head to my happy place, the aquarium. She tries to take in every moment after coming to the realization that she is fine not being her former self. Cameran wants to savor being Palmer’s mom instead of mourning the champagne brunching realtor she once was.
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Austen meets Naomie Olindo at her family’s restaurant on Shem Creek. She heard all about the drama from Chelsea, but Danni has been radio silent as to what happened. Austen tries to explain the situation from his angle, blaming Shep’s aggression as the cause of Madison’s nastiness. Naomie says what everyone has been thinking: Shep obviously went after Madison and got denied. It’s the perfect explanation for his hatred of Madison. Austen agrees, but he can’t discount Madison’s complete betrayal of his trust…not to mention he’s bummed his friendship with Shep is in limbo. Naomie urges him to be honest and apologize. Shep has a short memory for these sort of things.
Madison drops by Kathryn’s house looking for an ally in her fellow single mom. She doesn’t want Kathryn to think she’s ruthless, and she’s reached out to Danni to no avail. Would Kathryn be willing to help her mend fences with Danni? While she’s not excusing Madison’s behavior, Kathryn is proud to see someone stand up to Shep. It makes him even angrier that Madison doesn’t care what he thinks about her. Plus, Kathryn herself is no stranger to an aggressive outburst. The ladies need to stick together!
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Taking Naomie’s advice, Austen calls Shep to see if he can come by for a talk. He brings beer as a peace offering, so clearly, he knows his audience. After some pleasantries, Shep goes into his rehearsed diatribe of why Madison is bad. This isn’t quite the route Austen was hoping this chat would take–he’s not upset with Shep or Austen, he just wants to make amends for his actions. However, Shep cannot be interrupted.
He is shocked to hear that Madison found his apology for the white trash comment to be disingenuous. He berates Austen for not having his back. Would it be so hard for Austen to tell Madison to STFU when she get out of hand? Austen tells Shep that his mindset is exactly why he isn’t in an adult relationship. That is not how you speak to women. Shep may have initially regretted calling her white trash, but now he thinks she belongs in a honky-tonk bar on a saddle stool hanging out with someone named Tonya.
That actually sounds great–a saddle stool? How is that an insult? Austen isn’t defending Madison’s behavior, but he’s disgusted by Shep’s current display. These Lost Boys may be heading their separate ways in Neverland!
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF LAST NIGHT’S EPISODE? WHOSE BEHAVIOR WAS MORE FOUL…SHEP’S OR MADISON’S? DO YOU THINK THAT RUMOR IS TRUE?
[Photo Credit: Bravo]