Real Housewives of Miami Season 5 simultaneously feels never-ending yet somehow still not long enough. The latest episode features the ladies on another dramatic girls’ trip filled with Cockies, healing journeys, and the rehashing of old problems. Nicole Martin may have set the group up for success by planning fun, light-hearted activities, but the ladies think a bruja of some sort put a curse on them. By watching the turn of events in the latest episode, it’s easy to see why.
The continuation of the RHOM trip pays homage to the classic Real Housewives vacation tropes. There’s even a drunken injury that feels like a subtle throwback to Vicki Gunvalson’s whooping-it-up days. Here are five of the main takeaways from the Season 5 episode “Rage, Release, Repeat.”
Marysol Quickly Regrets Party Crashing
Marysol Patton unexpectedly shows up to the Bahamas with a blow horn in one hand and a cockie in the other to turn the fun up a notch. Alexia Echevarria couldn’t be more excited to have her best bro with her, but Adriana De Moura is less than enthused. She spends the entire episode complaining about feeling left out by the two, and she tells Marysol right off the bat. Adriana brings up the bros being her bridesmaids, Mama Elsa’s funeral, and other blasts from the past. “Not going to lie, COVID would’ve been a handsome offer compared to talking about old sh-t from five years ago that I didn’t even know needed clearing,” Marysol says in a confessional.
Adriana turns a wrong corner when she tries to prove her loyalty to Marysol. Apparently, one of Marysol’s longtime boyfriends tried to ask out Adriana after he split from Marysol. The breakup was uber toxic according to the Cockie queen, leading her to “wither down to an anorexic bone” at the time. It sounds like a deep wound that most of Marysol’s close friends would obviously be aware of. Adriana tries to act like she’s in the right because the guy asked her out years ago and she said no.
Then, she tells Marysol the guy told her he never loved her in the first place. What was the reason? As Marysol later puts it, that could’ve easily been information that Adriana took to the grave. Yet, she ends up further pushing away her friend that she’s complaining is distant. No wonder Marysol chucks the peace stone that Julia and Adriana gifted her over the balcony. She wants no part of this bad juju.
Lisa Somehow Becomes Comedic Relief
It would be ridiculous to say that Lisa Hochstein’s had an easy season of RHOM. Lenny Hochstein continues to make her life a living hell on a daily basis. Thankfully due to her team of nannies and Lenny’s disappointed mother, Lisa has the support to sneak away to the Bahamas for a couple of days. Sure, she shows up later than everyone else and leaves early to make sure Lenny hasn’t changed the locks in the meantime, but she has fun while it lasts.
Lisa somehow provides the much-needed comic relief in an episode full of fighting. She gets a kick out of her co-stars arguing about such petty nonsense. “I wish I had these problems in my life,” she laughs. Lisa even makes a joke about wishing she was still fighting with Nicole and co. for calling her house tacky last year. What a lifetime ago. Julia Lemigova and Alexia get into it at one point and Julia says Alexia looks like a barracuda. While they’re going back and forth, Lisa and some of the ladies are cracking up at her phone. Lisa is called out for giggling and reveals she looked up a barracuda to see if it resembled Alexia. Iconic.
Later, Nicole sets up a totally unnecessary healing journey with the group called a “rage release ritual.” The only person who takes it seriously is Kiki Barth. One might think Lisa would have a lot of rage to release at Lenny, but she can’t stop laughing at the ridiculousness of it all. It’s nice to see Lisa have some light-heartedness after a season of darkness. There’s surely more Lenny mess to come, but this episode was a nice reprieve from having to see him.
RELATED: Real Housewives Of Miami’s Guerdy Abraira Says Kenya Moore “Broke Her Soul” At BravoCon
The Ladies See Through Adriana’s Victim Game
Adriana has one of her worst episodes of the season. Everyone is against her and it’s obvious the pressure is mounting. While trying to “repair” her friendship with Alexia and Marysol, Adriana talks about stress in her life putting her at risk for a stroke. The two can’t take the conversation seriously. They don’t listen to her and spend the episode realizing how Adriana paints herself as a victim, especially after she makes mistakes (such as telling Marysol her ex never loved her).
Things escalate when Adriana unintentionally is hit by Kiki and Guerdy Abraria play-wrestling on the beach. Adriana is convinced she broke her foot and is making the hotel staff carry her around. Julia even wheels Adriana to a boat event the next day in a wheelchair, and all of the other ladies think it’s blown out of proportion. “She just wants the attention, and it’s negative. It’s always negative,” Alexia comments.
Larsa Pippen even tries to drunkenly tell Adriana that she’s overreacting and that her ankle looks fine, but stops herself from getting into more trouble. While I’m an Adriana fan, her mood the entire trip was sour. She only smiled when the ladies were hyping up her song, which seems pretty self-serving. It’s not that Adriana doesn’t have a point, but she’s definitely not doing a good job of communicating it.
Larsa’s Boldness Knows No Ends
Speaking of Larsa, she is in rare form in the Bahamas. Maybe she really has those tacky braids in a little too tight and it caused her to act differently. She even takes Nicole aside during the trip to apologize for spreading negative rumors about her at the hospital, and they hug it out. See? It’s very un-Larsa behavior. She makes it right during her confessional when she admits she’s not sorry for sharing a rumor, but more that she wanted to smooth things over. Baby steps.
Larsa gets really bold later when fighting with Adriana. Adriana calls Larsa a “little snitch” for telling Alexia that she called her a b-tch, even though Adriana insists she meant it jokingly. Larsa then threatens to “beat [Adriana’s] ass right now” and seems to get amusement out of Adriana’s rising discontent. Adriana ends up throwing a drink at the ocean, and Larsa claims if it hit her that her foe “would be dead tonight.” OK, Larsa, since when are you a fighter? Larsa always tries to act apathetic and chill, but she was singing a whole different tune on vacation. Again, I blame those damn braids.
Alexia Feels Rageful From Adriana’s Bad Analogy
The RHOM episode leaves off with a major cliffhanger that’s a textbook case of a bad analogy causing havoc on Real Housewives. The ladies all take a boat trip to a private island. Adriana is salty because the ladies are enjoying the ocean while she’s stuck on shore with a “broken” ankle. The group gathers together and Adriana thanks them for being kind about her song, and Alexia throws shade. She basically says she had no problem with Adriana’s music. It’s her personality that’s the problem.
This is where Adriana makes a truly grave error. She tries to emphasize to Alexia that accidents have consequences. She says Alexia should know that well after Frankie Rosello’s accident and all. To say this activated the Cuban Barbie is an understatement. Alexia starts sobbing and telling Adriana to keep her kid’s name out of her mouth. Adriana doubles down by saying she could’ve lost her foot, and Marysol calls it that she’s “dead in the water.” It’s the ultimate cliffhanger as we can expect Alexia to go off on Adriana next week. Ah, have I mentioned how happy I am to be living through RHOM Season 5?
TELL US – WHAT DID YOU THINK OF ADRIANA’S ANALOGY? DO YOU THINK ADRIANA’S BEHAVIOR WAS WARRANTED THIS EPISODE?
[Photo Credit: Charles Sykes/Bravo]
