Summer House Martha’s Vineyard is here, and we have a surname – Phil Brooks! We left off last week with a pre-rumble. Amir Lancaster says, “Respect the house bruh,” and in his mind Phil is bullying. Remember this is over a load in the commode (i.e., sh*t). Editing shows Amir talking about getting bullied when he was younger, but that has nothing to do with this, and now Amir’s ready to fight. They pile on Phil (figuratively)!
Jordan Emanuel tries to talk to him, but Phil is busy being Phil and he’s a bettin’ man. He’s basically saying Milo (the dog) is a slippery sucker and he’s got 100 on it. I don’t care if no one gets Phil. If you don’t stay above the conversation, he is the type that will have you running around like Milo did him. In other words, if you don’t want to get tired, don’t chase the dog. If you choose to chase the dog, that’s on you.
I will WATCH YOU!
Hold up, now Jordan is saying, “I will WATCH YOU [sh*t in a toilet] BITCH!” Oh, she’s chasing the dog now. Look how riled up she is. She says she’s triggered in interview and she’s putting it on Phil (who she just met) for her feelings. We’re five minutes into the episode and I want to leave the Vineyard.
A house meeting is urgently called, and Nick Arrington says, “We’re adults.” Nuh, uh. Children with alcohol maybe. And in a Bravo minute, Phil is voted off the island.
Cut to, we’re back to the dog towels. Everyone needs to sober up faaaast! The house rules are being made up and now we are kicking two people out of the vacation. Andy, let’s get a Phil and Mariah Torres spinoff going!
Milo is the only one with any sense while everyone else is playing the blame shame game. Work. On. Yourselves. Now that the bold personalities are kicked to the curb it leaves room for everyone to enable each other. And Amir admits later that he put the dog towels in the dryer.
Where could it go from here?
The men discuss the women in the car (on the way to the beach), and Nick throws out that he had an instant bro/sis vibe with Jordan. I’ve never DM’d my bro like that. Please take it back; we saw the receipts.
We’re onto adult recess. Jasmine Ellis Cooper says they need to sweat out their issues. So, every time something comes up, are we going to kick a ball and call it good? We get one additional tidbit of history at the beach, and Bravo cuts it at that. And after they let the episode go on and on over bowel movements. How about a historic pub crawl, stay in a house with history, go to a trivia night at a bar? Do something Bravo. Do some-thing.
We find out Amir has a dating playbook as he has a dainty Baywatch moment and steps on a shell. Praying he doesn’t publish it as a book. Praying he tries being himself.
Shanice Henderson decides to broach the personal space issue Alex Tyree has. There’s no personal space issue though. Alex read an article about her and rather than man up and talk to her, or get to know her he’s made up this personal space comment to create distance. Is Shanice a stalker? I don’t know. But Alex doesn’t know either. What happened to keeping it 100?
Tales of the Playboy ‘Clurb’
The night winds down with the girls recapping old times. We find out a couple of them were fired from the Playboy Club. Oops. The club closed in 2019 and was only open for a year so is it even relevant to today? To Silas Cooper it is because he doesn’t know any of these stories, and he’s taken aback because she had a life (before him). You just got married Silas; you haven’t heard all her stories yet. Hold on because one day you’ll have heard them all – over and over and over.
Jasmine says it best when she says she “needs to chillax.” She does so in the ‘truth booth’ by letting her worries be known about marriage. Dang, thought we were going to chillax. Nope, and now everyone is discussing their relationship, and out of left field we find out Nick has a girlfriend. Insert side eye. Something’s fishy and Nick’s holding back.
Watch Summer House Martha’s Vineyard on Sunday nights at 9/8c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT WAS THAT? WHAT DOES THE REST OF THE VACAY HOLD? WHAT DO YOU THINK OF THE EDITING?
