Real Housewives of New York Season 14, Episode 4 Recap: Welcome to Brynnsgiving!

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(l-r) Brynn Whitfield, Erin Lichy, Sai De Silva, Jenna Lyons, Jessel Taank, Ubah Hassan -- (Photo by: Gavin Bond/Bravo)

Seriously? Are we still in the Hamptons? I feel like the Real Housewives of New York have been in the Hamptons for about a month now.

Sai De Silva wants some breakfast. “I thought you were cooking,” she tells hostess Erin Lichy. When Erin affirms that she is, Sai continues, “I don’t smell anything. I would like you to start [cooking] because I woke up actually kind of hungry.”

In an interview, Sai adds, “Do I want you to start cooking? Yeah, like, an hour ago, so it’s ready now.” I get it. A good hostess should have breakfast ready when her guests arrive in the kitchen.

Finally, Erin is cooking her famous shakshuka. It looks delicious and healthy. Ubah Hassan brought her Ubah Hot hot sauce for everyone to try. “When I started modeling,” Ubah explains, “I had to eat, like, steamed fish, steamed vegetables, steamed everything. And I thought, ‘I’m gonna die’ without the flavor of the food, so that’s how Ubah Hot was born. I created [it] to make simple food taste delicious.”

Ubah launched her hot sauce in June 2021, but then she got a phone call that it was an Oprah Favorite Thing. “As an entrepreneur, I felt like I won an Oscar,” Ubah continued. “I was like, ‘Bitches, we made it!'” And I’m sure the endorsement didn’t hurt sales any, either.

Brynn has been engaged three times

Brynn Whitfield
(Photo by: Cindy Ord/Bravo)

When the ladies start talking about what everyone’s doing for the Thanksgiving holiday, Brynn Whitfield, who doesn’t have a traditional family, says she’s going to London with Gideon, her ex-fiancé. “Gideon is my third ex-fiancé,” she explains. “I’m not married, so obviously I don’t have it all figured out. Had I been married, I just would have been on my third divorce by now. So, statistically, I’m actually setting myself up for success, cause I never want to get a divorce.” Some convoluted logic there, Brynn, but it actually kind of makes sense.

“I’m not close with most any of my relatives,” Brynn continues. “I so badly want to have a family of my own and traditions and a place to go. So there are times when I’ll just call up some ex and be like, ‘What are you doing?’ It’s bandaids. It’s painful, it’s hard.” I understand where she’s coming from. It’s hard to be 36 and single, especially when you want to be married and have a family. Been there, done that.

Weekend’s over, everybody out!

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(Photo by: Sean Zanni/Braavo via Getty Images)

Everyone is really ready to go home, as they pack up their stuff. Jessel Taank says, “I cannot wait to get the f*ck out of here. You know the cartoon … the Road Runner? I am the Road Runner. Beep, beep.”

Having successfully survived her first ever girls’ trip, Jenna Lyons confesses, “I’m not gonna lie. I still feel a little trepidatious, but, I mean, I would go on another girls’ trip. I think I’d give it, like, a five. Or are we grading letter grades? If it’s a letter grade, like, a C.” So kinda sorta fun, but not all that much fun.

“I mean, it was really fun,” Erin admits, “but it wasn’t particularly relaxing. I was ‘on’ for three days straight, and I feel like I’m going from one set of children to another, so I didn’t really get any sort of break. My break will be my car ride home.” That’s how it is when you’re the hostess. Next time book everybody into a hotel, and you can relax.

Brynn talks about being bi-racial

Brynn Whitfield
(Photo by Dia Dipasupil/Getty Images)

Brynn goes to the hair salon every week. It takes three to six hours to straighten her hair from beginning to end. “It’s a lot,” she tells us.

Brynn’s mom was white, and her dad was Black. Her white grandmother raised her and her siblings, and she didn’t know how to deal with their ethnic hair. Brynn went to an all-white school in Indiana, and the other kids would make fun of her hair. I’m sorry, Brynn. That must have been tough.

“My father and his family [were] never in the picture,” Brynn says. “So I definitely missed out on having the support and exposure to, like, a strong Black community.”

But fortunately, her grandma had a good friend at work, a Black woman, who told her, “You have to take the girls to my hair salon.”

“So basically,” Brynn continues, “every week, Saturday morning, Grandma would drop me off [at the salon] and my little ass would stay there all day. And it was, like, the best … It was my only exposure to the Black community, to Black women.”

In the Black beauty salon, Brynn says, “I saw how beautiful Black women are, how strong they are, how funny they were. Doing that every weekend for a decade, thank God for it. It was amazing.”

“Growing up, I was embarrassed sometimes admitting that I was Black,” Brynn shares. “I didn’t know how it would be received. It was a nice thing going to the beauty salon, cause that was my one exposure [to Black culture] … I think my Grandma was just taking me there to make [both our lives] easier. Little did she know that [going there] had a massive impact.”

Ubah meets with her mentor

Ubah Hassan
(Photo by: Cindy Ord/Bravo)

Ubah’s mentor/financial advisor Kathleen has stopped by Ubah’s apartment for a visit. “She’s more than a mentor,” Ubah says, “she’s a very good friend. She’s very strong-minded, feminist and very passionate.”

Ubah’s looking for an investor to help her Ubah Hot company expand faster. “This is gonna be my third production,” Ubah admits. “But I also don’t wanna have an investor tell me what to do.”

“The way I was raised,” she continues, “if you wanna start a business, your uncle might help you. It’s never, like, a loan. There’s a lot of, like, community help in my culture.”

But, as Kathleen points out, “You don’t have that community around you anymore. You’re on your own. You’ve done an amazing job being a very, very strong woman all on your own, but you’re not surrounded by family here.”

That struck a nerve with Ubah, who says, “I just feel alone … Growing up with a mother like mine, she was the boss … the one who taught me everything was possible. I’m so grateful for that.” Sadly, Ubah’s mom passed in December 2012, and she still misses her. I know how she feels. My mom passed in 2021. You never stop missing them.

Kathleen assures Ubah that even though her mom is gone, “Now you’ve got me. I’ll live in Ubahville forever as a dedicated citizen.”

“There’s a lot of love in Ubahville,” Ubah responds. “It’s a little chaos. The schedule’s, like, all over the place, but there’s a lot of love.” Where can I sign up for citizenship in Ubahville?

Sai wants Brynn to have a special Thanksgiving

Sai De Silva
(Photo by Daniel Zuchnik/Getty Images)

Over at Sai’s house, she and her husband David are making pizza together. “Did I tell you I was talking to Brynn,” she says, “and she has absolutely no family around the holidays? I just felt really bad because I know how that feels.”

“She has no one,” Sai continues. “I just relate to Brynn because I know what it feels like to not have family around. It feels lonely. It feels isolating. So I understand why she just gets up and leaves or always wants to go on a trip with a friend.”

“She had a very hard upbringing,” she tells David, “grew up with food stamps, didn’t have a lot.”

“Just like you,” David says.

“I would love to do a Friendsgiving to have more of a family setting,” she adds. “What do you think if I did the Friendsgiving here? Like, invite all the girls over. It would just be like a Brynnsgiving! Are you down?” Sai is a really good friend.

So they decide to get Brynn on the phone and see what she thinks about the Friendsgiving idea. Immediately, Sai gets Brynn on FaceTime and asks what she thinks about getting everyone together for Brynnsgiving.

“Stop it!” Brynn exclaims, but then says, “I would literally love to do that. I’ll come early and, like, help you. And by help you [I mean] … I’ll distract you and drink your alcohol and then play with your kids.” Brynn is very excited about the idea.

“I got your back, boo!” Sai tells her.

Jenna stops by Erin’s with a thank-you gift

Jenna Lyons
(Photo by Michael Loccisano/Getty Images)

At Erin’s apartment, she’s trying to clean what looks like Silly String off the ceiling before Jenna arrives. “After going to Jenna’s apartment, and its pristine condition with, like, candles and a beautiful bar and a big island,” Erin says, “I have f*cking Sticky Hands [on] my ceiling … I want my home to look good, ’cause she’s judgy!”

“Jessel and I went to Suzie Kondi and got you a little thank you for housing us at your house,” Jenna says, handing Erin a large gift bag. “Which is something I would never do.”

Saying she’ll open it later, Jenna says, “Then if you’re like, ‘I don’t like it,’ then I won’t know,” referring to Jessel’s bad behavior over the “hideous” nightgown she received from Jenna in the Hamptons.

“Exactly,” Erin agrees.

Brynnsgiving at Sai’s apartment

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(Photo by: Sean Zanni/Braavo via Getty Images)

Going over the menu for Brynnsgiving with the caterers, Sai says, “I will never let anyone starve at my house … [coughing] Erin.”

“I love hosting,” she adds. “Hosting is my jam. I feed people.” Another jab at Erin.

Sai introduces Brynn to the evening’s handsome chef. “Hi, I’m Koné, I’m the chef here tonight,” he introduces himself. “So we’re making sure you’re going to like everything and … “

Brynn’s smitten with the chef and immediately shifts into flirt mode. “Oh, we’re gonna love it,” she answers, with a twinkle in her eye.

“He’s married,” Sai says.

“Oh, okay, never mind,” Brynn laughs. “I’ll get a drink.”

Sai’s daughter London is adorable! She admires all the pretty dresses as the ladies are arriving. While everyone else is styled to the nines, Jenna arrives looking like she’s going to the office. She’s wearing pinstripe slacks, a chambray shirt with a black jacket and white tennis shoes. Probably all very expensive, but very casual looking. Totally Jenna.

Sai has a strict no-shoes policy in her house. “There was a PSA,” she explains. “FYI, I put it in the text. I warned everyone, whatever you’re walking on in New York City is not to come into my house.” I’m with Sai on this. The first thing I do, when I come into my house, is to take off my shoes. I’m either barefoot or in slippers (if it’s cold). Gotta be comfy at home. Plus germs.

“I would never make people take the shoes off,” Erin complains. ” It’s, like, part of the look, and especially from the ‘look’ girl herself.”

Brynn gets emotional

Ubah Hassan, Sai De Silva, Erin Lichy, Brynn Whitfield, Jessel Taank, and Jenna Lyons
(Photo by Bryan Bedder/Getty Images for Vox Media)

Erin attended her 94-year-old grandmother’s memorial earlier in the day but says, “Even though today was hard for me, it’s worth it for me to come and have a Brynnsgiving, and just have a happy time with [Brynn].”

“This is something for Brynn, that I wanted to put together,” Sai announces, “because, you know, you expressed to us [at Erin’s house] why Thanksgiving and the holidays, you know, you not having family, so …”

“How are you doing?” Erin asks. “Are you good?”

“I don’t wanna do it,” Brynn whispers. “We can’t talk about any of that today. I’m sorry we can’t. I can’t. Absolutely not.”

“She always gets super emotional talking about the holidays…” Sai says.

“Cause I don’t have family,” says Brynn, getting tearful. “I do, but most of ’em are assholes, so…”

“I get why it’s so difficult for you,” says Erin. “And I feel like Thanksgiving is probably the hardest time.”

“Yeah, ’cause it’s the one thing where you’re supposed to, like, especially in the U.S., it’s like family and coming together and everything, and it’s just like, what it reminds me of.”

Brynn shares about her sad childhood

“Just share,” Sai encourages her.

“Okay, my mom had me, my brother and my sister when … she was a teenager,” Brynn says. “She had her own issues and stuff. And then my father [was] older. The only time that my brother and sister and I lived with my parents was the first six months of my life. And we lived in, like, you know, like, Section 8 housing, whatever. It wasn’t a good situation. We were poor as sh*t, welfare, food stamps, everything. They got into some trouble.”

“I think it’s fine if we talk about how hurt I was,” Brynn interviewed. “‘Cause I’m so obsessed and focused on the fact that the two people who were supposed to love me didn’t. Or couldn’t.”

“There was abuse and neglect and, like, I wasn’t picked up for, like, six days … my diaper wasn’t changed…”

TO BE CONTINUED.

The Real Housewives of New York airs Sundays at 9/8c on Bravo.

TELL US – WERE YOU SURPRISED THAT BRYNN WENT SO DEEP AT THE FRIENDSGIVING? DO YOU WANT TO BE A CITIZEN OF UBAHVILLE?

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