If you’ve been watching Real Housewives of New York City, you know about Jessel Taank’s struggle to have children. She’s been very open about her fertility journey and going through IVF with her husband Pavit Randhawa.
“At 34, I had started to try,” Jessel shares. “It was just one of those things where I knew in my gut … that something wasn’t quite right.” But she never dreamed it would take four years, three rounds of IUI (intrauterine insemination) and five rounds of IVF (in vitro fertilization) to conceive. She eventually gave birth to twins Kai and Rio, but the process took a toll on her physically and mentally.
“You don’t even know what it felt like to be normal,” Jessel says now, “because [of] the hormones. You’re so overstimulated.”
Medical emergency in Whole Foods
One day during the process, she was shopping at her local Whole Foods and passed out. An ambulance rushed her to the hospital.
“There’s something called ovarian hyperstimulation,” Jessel explains. “If you are doing multiple rounds of IVF … your ovaries go into overdrive, and they start to expand and swell.”
She compares the agony to “the worst period [pain] of your life. I literally passed out because the pain was so bad.”
In addition to the physical stress, Jessel hid what she was going through from her family. She and Pavit are both of Indian descent and in that culture, intimate things remain private.
Additionally, women in Indian culture are seen as “these goddess-type figures,” symbols of fertility who are expected to produce children. Though attitudes are now changing, at the time, the stigma weighed so heavy that Jessel couldn’t even talk to her mother about it. Aside from not knowing how to broach the subject with her parents, they lived in London while she was in New York. She didn’t want to cause more worry for them while she was far away.
Emotional support is key
Looking back, Jessel wishes she’d been more open about her experience. She’s since opened up to her mother about what she went through, and her mother was very supportive, saying she wished she’d known.
“But I have to say that when you’re in it, you’re so in your own head about everything,” the founder of LA Fashion and Beauty says. “You’re worried about the results. And I didn’t want people asking me, how things [were] are going … It just added this immense amount of pressure on an already very stressful process.”
Fortunately, Pavit was very supportive throughout the process. “I was super depressed, and … seeing all your friends go get pregnant so easily … really like took a toll on me emotionally,” Jessel admits. “[Pavit] was such a pillar of strength. When I didn’t want to go out as much, and I stopped drinking and I was eating a certain way, he adopted those things with me.”
While Jessel says she wants more children, she’s not in any hurry to start IVF again. Even though she wants a “princess” for her castle, “The thought of having to repeat that process again is just kind of daunting.”
Real Housewives of New York continues Sundays at 9/8c on Bravo.
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