Southern Charm Season 9 has come to an end with a stunning season finale aptly entitled “Beyond the Valley of the Southern Dolls.” Last week’s episode showed the group of friends at their wit’s end with one another over Austen and Taylor’s denial of their secret romance. Whitney hoped to end the season on a high by showing off his new man cave, but things quickly turned sour. And by some miracle, Shep finally figures out his feelings towards Taylor.
Instead of reflecting inward, Austen somehow finds the time to confront Olivia, whom he never really loved, regarding their simmering tensions. The proper Southern Party all comes to a head when Austen and JT decide to brawl with the newbie, putting everyone on notice that nobody puts baby Napoleon in a corner! Here’s everything that went down in Southern Charm Season 9, Episode 15.
The Leva sit down
Even though Leva hasn’t been featured on this season of Southern Charm, she has been the voice of reason for the ladies.
Olivia shared over the fig salad that she feels Austen is saying only what she wants to hear, noting he “pulls the right heartstrings.” Like a mama hen, Leva quickly counters, telling her friend it is “so wrong” that Austen has that power. Olivia is fragile, and Austen clearly hasn’t been thinking about her feelings at all.
Leva hits the nail on the head, sharing that Olivia gives him way more power than he has. The fact is Austen isn’t going to change; move on, Liv.
Whitney’s themed bash
There is no doubt that Ms. Pat taught her son well when it comes to throwing a party. As fans saw before, Whitney decided to take it upon himself to redo their butler, Michael’s former home on the property, into a man cave haven complete with a downstairs bar.
Now, one never throws a party without a proper theme, so Whitney embraced The Valley of the Dolls by Jacqueline Susann, which came out in 1966. Each cast member showed up in their best 60s garb, with the exception of Shep, sorry, Dieter, who looked like a porn star.
JT gets shot down
Instead of looking like a rugged Grizzly Adams, JT came in looking like a meek Davy Crocket, but he was gungho about pouring his heart out to Taylor, who we already know didn’t see him as more than a friend. Ouch.
The self-proclaimed “young Paul McCartney” just didn’t stand a chance. Since Jamaica, the baby crush has become heavier, with the divorcee noting that the two’s laughter speaks volumes.
While at the party, JT forgot about his plan to ignore his feelings and approached Taylor, saying, “It’s psychopathic to me that if we die tomorrow, we didn’t give this a shot. Like, I love you.” The statement gets even more profound as JT reveals, “I would marry you tomorrow.” Woah, buddy.
Taylor pines for Shep
Whether or not producers hyped up JT still remains to be seen, but Taylor has other ideas on her mind as she tells Shep she is looking into getting back together with him even though he cheated on her multiple times and enjoyed it. Wake up, girl! I don’t understand why Taylor is still in love with Shep! He tries to tell her that he is glad they can be friends. Yikes, not the dreaded friendzone.
Dieter, I mean, Shep, notes they have made a lot of “cool steps” in their friendship – what are we on Barney here? Taylor takes the icy plunge. She tells Shep that she would like for a cool step for them to be to get back together.
Shep physically shudders at the thought of dating Taylor again, but the bible gal knows how to hit him where it hurts, asking, “What if I wanted to date Austen?” Shep revealed that “us” is over with Taylor asking if those were his true feelings. The bachelor confirms his feelings, essentially saying they have to be friends because they are on Bravo, and that’s what former lovers/cast members do.
Austen is delusional
In a crosscut of both conversations, the Bravo cameras pan to Austen, who takes it upon himself to speak with Olivia, letting her know she has been quite inconsistent. Spell inconsistent, Austen.
Evidently, he can’t take the fighting or laughing anymore. But, Olivia hits back, noting that her ex gets off on girls fighting over him. This shouldn’t come as a shock since everyone and their mama have been talking about how horrible, narcissistic, and selfish Austen is. The proof was in the pudding as Austen entered the conversation, fully believing that Olivia would apologize to him. The conversation went as follows:
Austen: There is a “Major f*cking disconnect.”
Olivia: “You thought I was going to apologize to you?”
Literally, it went from zero to one hundred, with Olivia finally seeing Austen’s true colors.
The final clash
While in a darkly lit corner, the newbie has had enough of Austen walking around acting like his sh*t doesn’t stink when it comes to walking all over the women in the group. Howls of disdain pour from JT, including this diddy: “You’re a little boy who cried wolf wrapped in a 6’5 frame, and I’m man to man in the face.”
Austen starts the fight by telling mini Sonny Bono, “You’re finally eye level with me.” Kneeling on a stool, JT has mended his broken heart with one too many rums telling Austen he is basically a bag of shit, but the Trop Hop owner decided to push JT off his soapbox forcefully.
Not surprisingly, JT refuses to back down like the ferocious chihuahua he is. Instead, he starts listing everything wrong with Austen. That includes that he is arrogant, self-righteous, and a user. JT ends his rant by asking exactly how many girls Austen has hurt in Charleston. JT might be a dog with a bone, but I appreciate how he’s stood up for the women. As JT is launched into the air, he somehow lands on his feet like a stealthy ninja cat and starts chest-bumping Austen. It was a comedy of errors.
Austen pretends to be afraid, and claims he was headbutted, but the footage tells a different story. The most hated man in Charleston is just trying to push accountability onto someone else, which is annoying. Austen has had his reckoning and finally snapped, assaulting a castmate. The move is a fireable offense for any Bravo star, so will this be the last time we see Austen? I have a sneaky feeling he is a cat with nine lives. Has he used his first one on JT?
The two-part Southern Charm Season 9 reunion begins Thursday, January 11, at 8/7c on Bravo.
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