I live for Southern Charm and would happily argue that the show is one of the best on Bravo. It’s mainly because they keep the same schmucky guys around season after season. I am absolutely talking about Shep Rose, Austen Kroll, and Craig Conover. Their mix of Peter Pan syndrome and inability to take accountability makes for plenty of heartbreaks and some solid gold TV moments. The Southern Charm Season 9 finale didn’t fail, as fans were left shook after a home bar opening went wrong.
The Mod Squad
The softcore cottage party that was once Ms. Pat’s butler’s home was everything and more. Whitney Sudler Smith made it clear that he never wanted to walk down King Street again or enter a bar as he had the deep pockets to make his dream speakeasy come to life. As Whitney does, he picked a creepy and overtly sexual theme: the sexploitation style movies of Russ Meyer like Beyond The Valley of the Dolls and Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill! I also forgot that dear, sweet, much older Whitney was born in 1968, yet still hangs out with 20 and 30-year-olds.
The party was in full swing during the Southern Charm Season 9 fianle. JT Thomas getting some liquid courage and a push from production to reveal his true feelings to Taylor Ann Green. My heart broke for JT as he revealed in his confessional, “I’ve always had a crush on Taylor, but since Jamaica, the feelings are not just a baby crush; the feelings are like getting real.”
But note to self: telling a woman, “I love our friendship. I know that you love our friendship. I love you. I would marry you tomorrow,” isn’t a turn-on for some. Dolly has claws, as Taylor wasted no time pretending to entertain JT’s hopes and quickly backed away like Homer Simpson into a bush.
Austen’s Delusion
While getting ready and admiring his crochet top, Austen told his sister, Katie, that he is very much expecting an apology from Olivia Flowers for her sour attitude as of late. Excuse me while I re-check the facts. The Trop Hop owner was the one who hooked up with Olivia’s former best friend; he was the one who was sending mixed signals, and he yelled at her while in Jamaica, so an apology was not coming his way. However, it was fun to watch Austen live in his delusional world for a minute. It must be nice in there, all sunny and pretentious.
But the conversation was bound to go off the rails. “I know it’s been inconsistent with us, but it’s not a good friendship,” Olivia shared. “It just seems like nothing is genuine. That’s not friendship.” Honestly, a pet could give more love and affection than Austen.
When Austen finally realized he wouldn’t get the apology he craved, he began to spiral. Olivia hit him with the truth one more time. “Look at the paper trail of pissed-off women you leave,” she said. Olivia needs a medal or something, but I loved seeing her finally stand up to the Playboy of Charleston in the Southern Charm Season 9 finale.
JT’s Pedastool Speech
After a few Dark N’ Stormy cocktails, JT was seeing red and made a beeline for Austen at the bar. Now, I am not implying that this was the most significant moment of Southern Charm Season 9. I am telling you it was the greatest moment of the season. It was gold seeing JT on his knees, spinning around upon his bar stool like a mini Davy Crocket, king of the wild frontier Charleston. JT couldn’t get past the fact that Taylor didn’t want him. “She doesn’t want me, an actual successful, good, positive man,” he lamented. The feeling burned his side, and the only plausible thing to do was turn it onto Austen.
But I would argue Austen escalated the fight when he told JT, “I did tell you to get on a chair the next time you talk to me.” In a lightning bolt moment straight from Zeus’ hand, JT fired insult after insult. JT called Austen “a snake and a coward,” saying he is “the genesis of why there’s so much pain and tears.” The final word punch came when JT hit a nerve as he yelled, “You fu*ked Shep’s girlfriend!”
At that moment, Austen shoved JT right off the bar stool but then tried to claim he was headbutted first. After rewinding multiple times, there was no headbutt, just a disgraced Austen with JT’s voice in the background claiming, “I’ll never see you again.” The moment was hostile and felt like a clip from The Good Fellows, and I instantly wanted more.
TELL US – WHAT MOMENT WAS YOUR FAVORITE FROM THE SOUTHERN CHARM SEASON 9 FINALE?
