Why Girl Code Is Important on RHONJ

RHONJ OG Teresa Giudice.
Photo Credit: Ralph Bavaro/Bravo via Getty Images

Girl Code 101 is all about the top do’s and don’t’s when it comes to being friends with other women. The cast of Real Housewives of New Jersey might want to look into this. Honestly, it is probably a bit antiquated, but it’s the moral fiber most of us live by to this day. The Girl Code is all about respecting your besties, which can include protecting secrets, being honest, and supporting their decisions. But perhaps the number one rule that every girl learns by the time of middle school is not to pursue boys that your friend has an emotional investment in. Girl Code is also about how you should treat other girls, which is something some of the cast can learn. Here are a few reasons why Girl Code is important on RHONJ.

The Human (Girl) Code

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Everyone has their own definition of the RHONJ Girl Code, even the Bravosphere. But Margaret Josephs likes to think of it, not as a girl code but a “human code.” While talking to Bravo, the Macbeth Collection owner noted, “It’s the code for humanity. Say what you mean and mean what you say.” I would argue that Margaret truly lives up to her human code most of the time. As we are seeing in Season 14, Marge isn’t afraid to be brutally honest and stick with her alliances. She has been devastated by Jackie Goldschneider’s betrayal and the loss of the friendship.  

Melissa Gorga described her girl code a little differently. The Envy owner noted, “As long as you’re not hurting anyone and being a good friend to me then I’ll be a good friend to you. Girl Code of like live and just let live.” Melissa has always been a girls girl on the Real Housewives of New Jersey. This could be why the rift with Teresa Giudice has hurt her so much. For years, Melissa tried to put her issues aside, but Tre kept coming for her. Sometimes, if a fellow girl can’t get her act together, you just have to walk away. 

Girl Code = Don’t talk sh*t

I would say I relate to Danielle Cabral’s definition the best. The mother of two revealed “I’m old school ways where you tell me something, I’m going to keep it in forever. If you’re my girl, I’m going to have your back. I’m not going to go into situations and talk about you.” Danielle has proven this time and again as she has defended Teresa and Jennifer Aydin. Sometimes, this way of thinking does get you played, but once you realize you’re just a pawn, you move on quickly and distance yourself.

Jackie, who isn’t acting much like a friend in Season 14, added, “Girl code to me is if I dated somebody and had an intimate relationship with them, you can’t go date them.” Teresa also had the same line of thinking, noting, “You could never go with a guy I used to date like that was a no-no this point in my life. Yeah, I don’t speak to anyone’s exes.” Tre is weird when it comes to girl code because she gets mad at Marge for allegedly talking to Luis Ruelas‘ ex but is happy to spread rumors about Jackie and Melissa’s marriages.

The best RHONJ Girl Code upholder 

Without a doubt, Dolores Catania is the best when it comes to RHONJ Girl Code. The mother of two just gets it. Danielle lamented, “Dolores is very good at Girl Code, I have to say.” In the most recent episode, Dolo got into Jen’s face as she defended Teresa from being yelled at. For Dolores, ride or die is the name of the game and she has been doing it their days in Paterson. And even though Jen creates a lot of drama she is also a super loyal friend to Teresa. On more than one occasion she has gone to bat for the OG, no questions asked. Even Rachel Fuda had to admit, “As much as I don’t like her, Jen is loyal.”

But Missy G would argue Jen lacks a girl code, especially when it comes to the spouses. The mother of three added, “She discusses the husbands way too much. She’s obsessed with what they do and what they say way too much” A look back shows Jen calling Joe Gorga a “crook” and a “b*tch boy,” which isn’t very cool to do. Rachel also believes Teresa has “no girl code. Like Jackie, no girl code. Jenn Fessler. No girl code.  

Girl code vs. Jersey girl code

When asked about a Jersey girl code, Teresa quickly responds, “Yeah, not to be a rat.” Jenn agrees adding “not to say the word rat.” During Season 13, Danielle felt like Rachel had acted slyly and, in turn, called her a rat. The other big difference between Jersey girl code and girl code is we don’t talk about anyone’s family in the Garden State. Teresa has broken this rule more than once, even bringing up Anotina Gorga in Season 13. 

The rules of womanhood are finite and simple: “If you are friends with somebody and want to befriend someone they don’t like. Thats fine. Don’t sh*t talk them.” Always try to be a nice person and a supportive friend.

Real Housewives of New Jersey is currently streaming on Peacock.

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