Hulu’s new series, The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives, examines the lives of the women in the #MomTok group. These Mormon influencer moms bonded over creating fun TikTok videos. But everything changed in 2022. The creator of #MomTok, Taylor Frankie Paul, unleashed a scandal when she opened up about her “soft swinging” lifestyle with her husband. The couple later divorced. Then Taylor introduced her boyfriend, Dakota Mortensen, in the series. The couple share a child.
The new series focuses on how Taylor, Whitney Leavitt, Mayci Neeley, Jessi Ngatikaura, Mikayla Matthews, Jen Affleck, Demi Engemann, and Layla Taylor reunited after the scandal to continue #MomTok. The show captures the landscape of shifting friendships, marital relationships, and motherhood. Plus, there is plenty of drama in the friend group. While some of the group bonds together, there is also a battle over control of #MomTok.
Reality Tea spoke with the cast members of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives about their experience filming the show, what surprised them the most, and their shocking regrets.
What did #MomTok mean to its members?
The #MomTok group seemed to be an outlet for these busy Mormon moms. “I feel like #Momtok was just a group of women that we were having fun together. We all had something in common that we liked to do because not everyone likes to go on camera and you know, dance. It made us, I don’t know, get away from reality because we would get ready, we’d have fun,” Taylor explained.
“I think just a community for me. I feel like moms are super-isolated,” Mikayla said. She had her first child as a teenager and is now married with three children. “We don’t have a lot of friends and I feel like #MomTok was a really good community for people to … kind of find new hobbies, and find new friendships, and find yourself.”
Jen added, “And I definitely think we’re a younger, newer generation of Mormon moms and I don’t think we see that a lot. I feel like we’re able to relate to not only Millennials, but also Gen Z, and just even like moms in general.”
How #MomTok led to new experiences and secrets coming out
Of course, the women had to deal with the results of the swinging scandal. “It’s changed our life in many ways. I think we went from doing this cute little like dancing TikToks to like all of our secrets are exposed … and yeah,” Jen, who is married with two kids, said. “Our life is crazy now.”
At the same time, Demi, who is remarried with a blended family, had a different take. “I was doing social media for 12 years before #MomTok, and once I joined #MomTok, the eyeballs just went completely up. Our reach became so much bigger, and it became such a more lucrative thing as far as income goes for my family. And then the show – I just think it’s just been such a great opportunity.”
Layla agreed with Demi’s feelings. “Just like Demi said, I’m a single mom so being able to provide for my two babies has obviously been completely life-changing and I think a lot of women sometimes can get stuck in relationships because finances are hard,” Layla explained. “So, I’m so blessed that I have this opportunity that I was able to give my kids a really good life on my own.”
Weathering the criticism and negativity
When the swinging scandal news broke, all the women in the group faced harsh criticism. So, how did they handle all that negativity? “Mayci and I have done social media for quite some time … I feel like we’ve built quite the backbone,” Whitney said. She is married and expecting her third baby. “So, it doesn’t affect us as much. It may [more so] for some of the other girls. But, you know, they’ve got a support system. That’s what’s so great about #MomTok. But I’m not really worried about it,” she added.
Hair school and extension business owner Jessi also weighed in. “I feel like we expected criticism. Luckily, Taylor, you know, her story has been out for a couple of years. So, unfortunately, she’s used to the hate by now. That gave her a tough skin,” she said. “We knew it was going to be controversial. But for me, if you’re being talked about, you’re doing something, you know? So, I’d rather be talked about for living my life and going after goals and dreams than not be talked about at all.” Well, that is a unique angle.
And Taylor agreed with Jessi. “Amen to that. I feel like my skin is definitely a lot thicker now. I feel like more anxiety … I’m just more anxious with everything being on national TV,” the mom of three explained.
Layla is hoping that some people’s opinions about the group may change. “It’s been challenging for sure. I think it’s hard, especially in Utah where I feel like that’s the majority of where we’re getting our hate from … this community out here. But they’ve only seen very small glimpses of the show,” she explained.
What shocked the ladies about filming The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?
“The drama. I would say like our friend group kind of being … not torn apart, but kind of,” Mayci, who has a company specializing in natal nutrition, stated. “There was like a lot of things happening where I was like, ‘What is going on?’ Like there’s something in the air here.”
Other cast members felt like the cameras brought out unexpected feelings. “I think how much raw emotion comes out when you’re filming a show like this because you’re talking about your feelings so much and you’re talking about really deep, personal subjects you wouldn’t just [do] every day,” Jessi said. “And it really opened all of us up, and I think as a group, it made us closer, which was really great.”
Taylor was shocked by how vulnerable she felt. “I can’t speak for everyone, but for me, I became very vulnerable. I feel like I was a lot softer than I thought I ever was. It’s like a different person came out. So, that was interesting to see,” Taylor said.
Meanwhile, Mikayla took a while to get used to all the cameras and filming equipment. “And I always got really nervous for some reason. Anytime we’d start to sit down to film, my heart was racing, and I thought it would just be easier, but I feel like we’d gotten used to it by the end,” Mikayla said.
“Totally. At least for me, I forgot the cameras were there and that’s the issue,” Jen stated. “Like I literally was just my complete authentic self, which I think backfired! But that was the beauty of doing this show is we all just showed up and were our complete authentic selves.”
What did The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives cast members regret about the show?
So, did the cast have regrets about their actions on the show? Not so much. “For me, I wouldn’t change anything, and people are going to be shocked by my answer because a lot happens to me on the show,” Jen remarked. “But I just learned so much from it, that, yeah, I wouldn’t want to change anything.”
Jessi also had zero regrets about her experience. “And I maybe got luckier because I didn’t have as much drama as some of the other girls, but I truly enjoyed the whole filming process. I think all the women are so supportive of each other, even though there were ups and downs,” Jessi said. “We’re all, for the most part, really good friends. So, for me, I feel super grateful for it.”
And Demi felt the same way. “I feel like I moved so authentically that I don’t really regret anything … like any of my participation. I feel like I did my best to just be intentional and move with purpose,” Demi said. But Layla wished that she had spoken up more. “I think maybe I’d be a little bit more vocal. I think that sometimes, I’m a little bit more of a shy person,” Layla admitted.
Meanwhile, Taylor had a different sort of regret. “I don’t know if I have any regrets in like showing things, but I think [I wish] I would have got ready more,” she said with a laugh. “I honestly don’t know what I was thinking. I’d jump in the shower and be fine with filming.”
What should viewers take away from the show?
The cast has different ideas about what they hope viewers will take away from the show. “That it’s okay to be unique, and express yourself, and be vulnerable,” Mikayla explained.
Jen echoed Mikayla’s feelings. “And I think, even as moms, I think we’re so hard on ourselves all the time,” she said. “I think, looking back, it’s going to be a little bit hard, but we also have to remind ourselves that we’re doing the best that we can, and we’re showing up as our authentic selves, and that is brave.”
Some of the cast members of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives want viewers to feel inspired. “I hope they feel empowered as women and just as viewers, and specifically men watching and viewing us as independent strong women providing for our families … being moms and friends and daughters and you know, wives,” Demi said. “We are so capable and so powerful. And I just hope that they walk away feeling inspired,” she added.
“I hope that whoever is watching, that one person can relate to just at least one of the cast members if not all of us with where we are in our lives. Or friendships or relationships or whatever is going on in our life …” Whitney added.
Then Macyi discussed the Mormon Church. “I think relatability, especially if we’re touching on the Mormon Church and the Mormon culture, I hope people can relate and know that they don’t have to be perfect to be in our religion,” she said.
All the women are hopeful about landing a second season. Fingers crossed!
All episodes of The Secret Lives of Mormon Wives will drop on Hulu on Friday, September 6.
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