Gene Simmons Family Jewels: The Reality Show’s Most Memorable Moments

Simmons Family at a tennis match.
Photo Credit: Kevork Djansezian/Getty Images

Gene Simmons Family Jewels was a wholesome family reality TV show that aired in the early 2000s. Even though Gene Simmons was a member of KISS he was a docile father and husband who just wanted his family to enjoy one another’s company. The series was loved by many due to its real-life scenarios that could resonate within anyone’s own family. Gene was pretty funny. But I would argue his children stole the show. The Simmons’ were the perfect mix of Rock and Roll and Leave it to Beaver. And I just love walking down memory lane.   

Gene Simmons traumatizes Nick Simmons

The KISS legend had a way with his children. He reminded me of my own father, just with a lot less make-up. Gene enjoyed handing out advice to his two teenagers, but sometimes, it came with a side of embarrassment. But as my dad always said, “I’ll get smarter as you get older.” And he and Gene were not wrong. Gene and his Playboy wife, Shannon Tweed, decided to give Nick a talk about the birds and the bees, with the high schooler wishing he could be anywhere else. 

The former model noted that the only exercise that Gene does occurs every second night, causing his son to turn bright red. Shannon shared that she lived in a town called “Dildo.” Her son, Nick, poetically notes, “This is where I jump off a cliff.” Shannon found herself in a laughing fit as she stated that she loved grossing her son out. Nick giggled and said, “I’m never coming back. This is the end of my run on this show.” It was clear that the parents were just enjoying razzing their son. And the interactions also made viewers laugh.  

Hip Hop Gene Simmons

In 2007, Crank That (Soulja Boy) started playing on the radio. I still remember when I was a junior in college in a club in Charlotte when I first heard about it. Like everyone else, I tried my best to learn the song and was taken away by the beat. So, it makes sense that Gene also wanted to learn the coolest dance. So his daughter, Sophie Simmons, decided to tutor her father in the latest craze. Remember when your parents tried to tutor you in a school subject? That’s kind of how this went.  

Gene noted, “I know the one-step and the two-step, 23 skidoo, I can do anything,” Sophie listened in horror as her dad aged himself but tried to listen nonetheless. Gene tried his best to crank it while in the family kitchen and wearing his bathrobe. He told his son in a confessional, “I can do that thing that you make fun of but the girls like. I dance with my chest out.” Sadly, Gene couldn’t master the lean back and eventually retired to his man cave for some peace and quiet.

Gene Simmons and Shannon Tweed relive the good old days

No teenager wants to hear about how much their parents rocked before starting a family. Nick was no different; he tried his best to cover his ears when his parents decided to relive their tour of South America. Gene shared that he and the band would be participating in a Rock and Roll All-Star Tour, but Shannon wanted to lay down some ground rules before her husband jetted off. At the time, Shannon told her therapist that “too much freedom isn’t good for him.” The couple ended up having a great time without their kids.

Nick and Sophie were peeved about missing out with the oldest son, noting, “That would have been really fun to go to, wouldn’t have it?” Nick was dripping in sarcasm, but his mom added, “Yeah, but you weren’t invited.” On the trip, Gene and Shannon tried new food like bullballs and signed fans’ butts. Even though Shannon was worried about her husband crossing a boundary, the trip was a huge success. Next time, they just have to remember to pack the kids

TELL US – DID YOU WATCH GENE SIMMONS FAMILY JEWELS?

X