Erika Jayne joined Real Housewives of Beverly Hills in 2015 to film Season 6. She lived in much different circumstances and was perceived as cold by her costars. Since then, Erika has lived through a lot of scrutiny. Her divorce from Tom Girardi and the ensuing legal issues were arguably the most serious. But this season is proving to be her best yet.
As the drama shifts in Season 14 from Erika to Dorit Kemsley and Kyle Richards, the Pretty Mess singer is reflecting on what she’s learned from her time on the show.
Reality TV has “taken a toll” on Erika Jayne
“Isn’t it nice?” Erika exclusively told People about avoiding the Season 14 drama. “I’ve always been on the defense, or trying to [continue] holding up the walls of some bad situation. And this season, the audience and the women are finally seeing me how my friends off the show know me, because I didn’t feel like I had to be on guard as much.”
“Look, being on reality TV is not for the faint of heart, especially when your entire life falls apart,” she continued. “It is tough. I think that it’s made me incredibly resilient, but it also came with a lot of hurt. These are real wounds that I have to heal. It can take a real toll on you. And it has. It’s taken a toll on me.”
Indeed, Erika has shared her inner work and therapy sessions on RHOBH. She’s learned to take it “one day at a time.”
The returning Broadway star said, “I know it sounds cliché, but you can’t focus on more than this moment right here right now.”
Family support is everything to Erika, who counts her son, Tommy, and mom, Renee, as her inner circle.
“You have to accept the situation you’re in and the person you’ve become, and that doesn’t happen overnight,” she explained. “You have to give yourself time to almost recognize yourself again, and realize that certain things are really gone and that you must be willing to let them go. And then you have to say to yourself, ‘Okay, let me make peace with the present moment and make peace with who I am in the present moment.'”
Erika described herself as a “very nostalgic” person
RHOBH fans saw Erika reeling after leaving Tom and having to downsize and let go of the lifestyle that came with it.
“It’s not easy to do; it’s just not easy to do,” she admitted. “I’ve had a hard time with moving on. I’m very nostalgic, probably much more so than people think. But I had to do it. I had to let go of a life, of a partner, of all the things that went with that — the homes, the furniture, the money, all of it. And then I had to let the dust settle where it did, which was not in a good place, and I had to say, ‘Okay, let’s work with this.’ That was hard!”
Despite making strides forward, Erika is still sometimes struck by the magnitude of what happened to her.
“There are times when it’s just like, ‘This sucks. I don’t like this. I didn’t plan for this. This isn’t what I had signed up for. I don’t know what this is and I don’t like it!'” the RHOBH star said. “You just can’t lie to yourself that it’s so great! And oftentimes, it is not easy to look at the more positive side than the negative side. But you try; you try because you deserve to be happy.”
Erika knows to “block out” negative comments
These days, Erika is getting less negative feedback from fans and more supporting social media activity overall.
“Hey, it’s nice to hear nice things — and it certainly is better than the other way, I’ll tell you that. But as grateful as I am that people are happy for me, and how much I feel that love, I also know I can’t buy into it,” she said of the change in public opinion. “Because all of that adulation? All that sh*t is false. Just like all the negativity was false too.”
However, the reality TV star and music professional is all too aware of the facade of fame. For her part, Erika has to “block out” negativity on social media.
“At the end of the day, this is my life and I need to show up for me — not for them,” she explained. “I can’t let social media dictate my future. That cannot write the end of my story.”
“I’ve always known I’m a pretty strong person, but I feel unstoppable now,” Erika concluded.
Catch The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills Tuesdays at 8/7c on Bravo.
TELL US – WHAT IS YOUR REACTION TO ERIKA’S COMMENTS? HOW DO YOU THINK SHE HAS CHANGED THIS SEASON? WOULD YOU DESCRIBE HER AS RESILIANT?
