Love is in the air. And even though the Real Housewives franchise is usually known for their fighting or tiny quips, it’s time to figure out who you’d match within a game of MASH. You know the game, the paper-and-pencil situation commonly played by pre-teen girls intended to predict one’s future. So, who would you pick as your Galentine on Cupid’s big day?
Dorinda Medley will make the evening nice
The queen of Real Housewives of New York would undoubtedly host a Valentine’s meal at her beloved Blue Stone Manor. Dorinda Medley has already gone all out for Christmas and Halloween, so why not the day of love? Her acres of land would be decorated in a Queen of Hearts theme; think lots of red, pink, white, and gold coloring. Since it’s such an important night with friends, I think she’d hire a private chef. But as usual, our “make it nice” diva would create the perfect themed dinner. I imagine a starter of cream of tomato soup, with a main course of lobster (pre-shelled, of course) and a chocolate mousse dessert.
To top off the evening, a themed cocktail or two would be in order. A “Dor-inda Love Me?” cosmopolitan is a dead ringer. And for those friends of hers who are heartbroken, maybe a “Clip Clip” dark and stormy.
Britani Bateman will put on a show
The girls that get Britani Bateman get her. The polarizing friend of the Real Housewives of Salt Lake City isn’t about to change her audacious “pick me” ways. But for a Valentine’s Day partner, she would definitely have you embracing your authentic self. Since her casting, Britani has put on a show or two, and her Valentine’s get-together would be no different. She’d be the star, and you’d be the supporting actor.
As we know, Britani is not for everyone, but if you can hang on for an evening, I’m sure you’d walk away with quite a story. The odds are good that she would talk to you about either her daughter or Jared Osmond. And don’t be surprised when the night ends if good ‘ol Jared slides into your DMs to try and give you the dirt. All I would need to know for the date is whether or not I should bring a bottle of wine as a hostess gift when she inevitably picks me up in a limo.
Dolores Catania will feed your soul
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star would, without a doubt, take you to the best restaurant in Little Italy for the perfect family dinner. Dress in your best mob wives outfit because she has connections. Picking you up in an Uber Black car, you’d be chauffeured to the cutest mom-and-pop restaurant. With any luck, Frank Catania will also be in attendance. While catching up over sauce, meatballs, and some chicken parmesan, Dolores Catania hands out gold advice about life, family, and working with unpredictable personalities.
This Galentine’s might be one of the easiest since Dolores is not about the drama. You laugh, talk about the old neighborhood, and drink some red wine (preferably not Joe Giudice’s homemade blend). At the end of the night, you leave stuffed, and your face hurts from laughing so hard.
Valentine’s Day at Shannon Beador’s favorite place
Inevitably, Shannon Beador and her group of Valentines would head to the Quiet Woman. But Shannon would be anything but boring. And taking a page out of her friend, Vicki Gunvalson, she would “whoop it up.” At some point, Shannon would probably go into a bit of a slump as she complains about her layers of Spanx and starts to give relationship advice. But the women at her side would rally around her, and she’d perk right back up. Since the Quiet Woman is a stomping ground for Real Housewives of Orange County stars, you would also be spending the evening with Gretchen Rossi, Heather Dubrow, and probably Tamra Judge (if the duo have made up, of course). Valentine’s Day in Orange County would be mild, but for sure, it would have the most beautiful sunset, letting you know love is all around.
Real Housewives is available to stream on Peacock.
TELL US – WHO WOULD YOU PICK AS YOUR REAL HOUSEWIVES VALENTINE?
