Last week on Married to Medicine, Mariah Huq worked to bring Kari Wells and Quad Webb-Lunceford together, to settle their differences before Aydin and Duncan's birthday party. Turns out, if she wanted a drama-free party, she should have focused her pre-party energy on herself. Oy vey, even for Bravo, the party turns out to be a nightmare.
This week's show begins and ends with Mariah and Toya Bush-Harris. First, despite the fact that Mariah and Toya merely tolerate one another solely because their husbands work together, Mariah stops by Toya's house with a gift. She brings a white Christening gown for Toya's one-year-old son's upcoming baptism. Toya is like, thanks but no thanks, and Mariah feels offended.
Meanwhile, Dr. Simone Whitmore checks in with Dr. Jackie Walters. Simone knows exactly where to find the "fat police" doc, at the gym. While the other ladies' back and forth jabs come across as hurtful and below the belt, Simone and Jackie's banter always feels playful and lighthearted. Jackie jokes that Simone is more about food than fitness; Simone shares that she has no interest in sweating off her hair.
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It's party day! Quad spends the morning preparing her dogs for a high-fashion sh-t break. Quad goes on and on about how her dogs are her kids, adding, "We do not treat them like (gasp!) puppies!" Admittedly, little dogs aren't my thing, but come on. Dior, Versace, only to go poop – it's a little much.
Over at the Huq house, Mariah is like, Yasss! Honey! We're ready to party, honey! Her excitement fades quickly, however, after she hears that her family's personal business was the day's beauty shop gossip. Lake, Mariah's sister, has the scoop. Apparently, Toya ran her mouth at the salon, telling everyone that Lauren, Mariah's older child, is not Aydin's biological child.
Mariah no longer wants to go to the party – and it's HER party – because she doesn't want to face Toya. Lakes delivers worse news – their mama, Lucy, heard it all. Oh no, sighs Mariah, who admits that their mom is hard to handle. Meanwhile, Kari continues to set up the party on her own, as Mariah is nowhere to be found.
This party, which is supposed to be a fabulous "Hollywood Glam" black tie event with Atlanta's top doctors, begins promptly at 7 pm. To me, the party looks less glam and more budget basement prom, as most of the dresses are hideous. Duncan greets the guests. Kari makes her "glam" entrance. Mariah is still missing. Simone takes it upon herself to entertain Mariah's guests by repeatedly reminding them that Mariah and Aydin are late.
A little after 9 pm, the Queen Bee and her entourage stroll into the party, unapologetic about the fact that they're over two hours late. Mariah carries on, "Yassss honey, she has arrived!" Simone asks, "What time is it?" Duncan quips, "Mariah's arrival time." Obvi. Tori deadpans, "Crazy." Nobody is as impressed by Mariah as Mariah is. Referring to herself in the third person, she says, "She's old Hollywood glamour. So, she's going to give you a little bit of Marilyn Monroe, a little bit of Lana Turner, and a whole lot of Joan Crawford." More like, a little bit of obnoxious, a little bit of self-important, and whole lotta drunk off her ass.
While Mariah spews countless excuses for her tardiness, Mama Lucy focuses her attention on Toya. When Toya compliments Kari's party, Lucy pushes her to admit that Mariah's party was also nice. To the camera, Toya jokes, "Someone didn't take their medication." When Toya refuses to play her game, Lucy yells, "Are you hating? Are you hating? It should be right for you to say, it was gorgeous." OMG. What a pot-stirring hood rat.
Then, Lucy goes from slightly unhinged to certifiable nutso, saying things to Toya like "you was terrible, you was awful" and "then I found out the trash" and "you best to, you best to, or go home!" Shockingly, Toya retains her composure, not wanting to disrespect an elder.
Lucy joins Quad's never-ending bitch fest, Toya catches up with Kari, and Simone seeks out Mariah. Simone asks, "Are you behaving?" to which Mariah says, "I'm always behaving, Dr. Jackie." Simone's like, um, you mean Simone. Mariah cops an attitude over the correction, saying, "You're all prissy and perfect now. I miss my Simone from Tennessee." Once again, Mariah is most definitely under the influence of something, as her speech sounds slurred and she's not making any sense.
Then, Toya feels the need to approach Mariah, and everything goes to hell. Toya asks Mariah why Mama Lucy chewed her out, adding, "My mother would never disrespect you like that." Mariah loses it, screaming, "Well, that's your mama and that's MY MAMMMAAA!" Mariah is all like, I'm way too pretty to talk to you, and then she flicks the ends of Toya's hair. Craziness ensues.
Toya throws her drink in Mariah's face. Mariah smacks Toya upside the head with her clutch. They each grab hands full of hair and fall to the ground. Quad spies the brawl and comes running, screaming, "What?! Oh hell no! Absolutely not!" Quad's attempt to pull them apart only leads to bigger grabs, harder hits, and a shattered table. Gregory holds Quad back, Aydin pulls Mariah away, and Mama Lucy beats Toya in the head with her purse while she's still down. Simone wisecracks, "Two bitches fighting in ball gowns. Are you kidding me?"
After she and Toya are separated, Mariah says, “I could of killed Toya’s ass. I could of threw her ass in that pool and drowned that bitch." Mama Lucy assures Mariah that she did well, adding, "You did a good job, you hit her back. I hope you beat her ass well." Meanwhile, a sobbing Toya is holed up in the bathroom with Simone.
Kari fetches her neighborhood's security officer, asking him to remove Mariah from the party, but Mariah refuses to leave her own party. Mariah thinks Kari needs to tell Tori to leave. Later, Duncan boldly says to Kari, "Mariah's life is ruined. Aydin is going to divorce her tomorrow. I guarantee it."
TELL US – HOW ABOUT THAT FIGHT? ARE YOU TEAM MARIAH OR TEAM TOYA?
Photo credit: Bravo
