Aaaahhhh… Melissa Gorga – I know so much about you, yet nothing at all. The pitfalls of being a reality TV star, I suppose.
The Real Housewives of New Jersey star is opening up in her latest Bravo blog about how everyone thinks Joe Gorga is "p*$$y whipped," brainwashed, and a member of The Cult Of Famewhoring Melissa – and she says it ain't so. No matter what rumors Teresa Giudice be trying to pedal! Whatever helps her cook her books, right?
Proving that Poison thinks for himself and doesn't let Melissa carry his balls around in any kinda rented or faux Chanel, she cites him calling her out on last night's episode. Isn't that nice!
"If I hear the phrase 'pu— whipped' one more time, I’m going to have to break something," Melissa fumes. "A whipped man would never call out his wife if he thought she did something wrong. Joe wasn’t happy about my Chanel bag tweet. Meanwhile, anyone who says he never sticks up for his sister should be eating their words right now."
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"In my own defense, I posted it in reaction to Teresa retweeting a link to a nasty blog about me. I was pissed off, and I impulse tweeted in retaliation," Melissa explains. "We’re constantly going tit for tat, and we’ll never get anywhere that way. Joe told me I was wrong to do it, and I agreed with my husband. I shouldn’t stoop to her level. It only gives her something to complain about."
"That’s our marriage in a nutshell. Joe will defend me to anyone. But when we’re alone, if one of us has a problem with something the other did — even something as minor as tweet — we talk it out." So having a camera crew in your bedroom constitutes being alone now… says Farrah Abraham!
"Sometimes, we yell it out. Joe and I have a real marriage," Melissa insists. "We argue. We struggle. We don’t put on an act like we’re happy and laughing all the time. That’s not who we are, or what we want to represent." And that's why we're writing a marriage bible, I added pretending to be Melissa! Is Melissa directing this paragraph to a certain sister-in-law of hers whose hubby is always accused of cheating while they go on dates pretending everything is "love, love, love!" Just sayin'…
Moving on, Melissa talks about Joe's rather complicated relationship to his parents, which probably would be less complicated save for a little intrusion called reality television!
"When Joe said, 'My parents look at you like you’re the devil,' it bothered me. What Joe was trying to explain was that his parents were constantly only hearing one side of the story. We try our hardest not to get them involved. And Joe was starting to feel that his parents were getting a twisted vision of our marriage." Melissa assures us all is good with her in-laws, who visit frequently.
Melissa also defends calling Teresa out on her manipulation attempts. "Re: mind f—ing, I don’t take that back. I do think Teresa was up to something. She said things to Joe about me behind my back."
"Anyone would look at this situation and think, 'She’s trying to break them up.' Why does she do it?," Melissa wonders. "I certainly haven’t tried to cause tension in her marriage. She said I controlled my husband. Why is she worried about that at all? I just don’t get it, and I’m fed up with the negativity."
"I thought it was revealing that while Joe was sticking up for Teresa, she and her husband were laughing about Joe in public," Melissa adds. "That soccer mom’s face said it all. It was shocking and gross — but typical for them."
"She said that if Joe agreed with me, he had to be brainwashed. That’s a harsh comment. Does she really think Joe isn’t in his right mind because he loves me? Or that I’ve got him under a spell? He’s just being a good, loving husband! No witchcraft. No voodoo. I don’t think Teresa can wrap her mind around that."
"He’s not a cult victim," Melissa clarifies. "He’s in a healthy marriage based on mutual respect, trust, and affection. Breaking news: When a husband treats his wife well, it does NOT mean he’s been mentally tampered with." I do agree with Melissa that Teresa seems to have a rather skewed version of a good marriage. I mean just from what we've seen and read.
Melissa also believes Kathy "Fisholi" Wakile has a totally normal and healthy marriage too, if only she can overlook the fact that she's married to Richie, that is!
"Kathy and Rich have a real marriage," Melissa believes. "They’re having a power struggle at the moment. I’ve been through something similar. It took time and effort to strike a good balance." And cannolis for all – starting with me. Email me for my address, Kath!
[Photo Credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com]
TELL US – POISON: P—Y WHIPPED OR A MAN IN LOVE WITH HIS WIFE? TERESA: CLUELESS ABOUT A HEALTHY MARRIAGE OR A CONCERNED SISTER? KATHY: TYPICAL MARRIAGE UPS AND DOWNS OR… WELL SHE IS MARRIED TO RICHIE, SO NEVER MIND!