Aaaahhh… Caroline Manzo, everyone's favorite bossy guard mom has revealed that she's leaving Real Housewives of New Jersey.
For some, the end days of the reign of red headed fury are welcome, but for those of you who will miss The Caroline's particular charm, fear not – she's getting a spinoff!
As we say goodbye to The Caroline we look back sometimes fondly, sometimes frightfully but always humorously on some of her most memorable moments.
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE RETROSPECTIVE
Season 1 Caroline was just your regular old Jersey mom. I mean she had a bright red buzzcut and the stern expression of a military general, but that's because she was scowling down the enemies of her spawn. Remember fambly is everything and they're thick as thieves! Let's just call her a cop without a badge!
Speaking of thieves, she took one for the fambly team when she claimed to have uncovered the memoir about Danielle Staub's strippertastic life. And thus was the deathknell in Danielle's popularity coffin. Poor girl – she just wanted to be accepted by the Posche Mafia, but instead The Caroline, who possibly allegedly may or may not have mafia ties, iced her out. I'm surprised the spawn didn't "ham" her. You know, tie her to the stake and fling ham slices at her. #HamGame
Photo Credit: WENN
In Season 2 The Caroline 's hair softened up but her demeanor was crankier and harder than ever! This season Caroline made it her mission to cast Danielle out. But alas, there was Albie drama to contend with! Poor Albanito was kicked out of law school cause he has ADHD and like people with ADHD can't take Strattera and do their homework, oh no they have to get on national TV so mama can practice the stage cry she learned in high school drama. So yes, Caroline had Albie drama, but she was undaunted because he was going to teach all us a lesson on overcoming obstacles right after mommy made him a sandwich. Ham?
After salving Albie's wound, Caroline darted off to defend the honor of the rest of the RHONJ crew when she sat down to dinner – amid armed bodyguards like this was a UN summit – to inform Danielle she was a "clown". I admit, it was brave of her. I would not endanger my life for Teresa Giudice or Andy Cohen. Caroline returned a hero, but unfortunately things were brewing behind the scenes… things like the fact that sister Dina Manzo stopped speaking to her! Ouch.
In season 3 The Caroline really um… well, let's just say she found herself in the cross hairs of the Gorgadice fambly feud. But even worse, Caroline's former friend Teresa became her sworn enemy when she dared question her Italian-ness. Like Caroline is 1/10th Italian – as if! Like Olive Garden is the most Italain-y thing like ever! Mirror, Mirror on my faux-marbled lacquered wall who's the most Italian-y one of all?
This face means serious business. WWJD? Love and Light WWCD? Throw a bitch out!
Caroline started out besties with Teresa. They visited her hunting cabin where The Caroline sulked. And refused to have fun with rotten egg smelling wine. Things continued to escalate all season as over and over again she found herself in the middle of Teresa's family nonsense. Like when she had to throw Kim G out of Baby Jesus Birthday Party For Charitablie-Ish Stuff And Sparkly Stripper Angel Dresses. Yeah – The Caroline is boss!
Other than that I think Caroline's story was menopause. Riveting…
Then the reunion happened and Caroline's own less than perfect family matters were exposed to the world when Teresa reminded her that she doesn't even speak to Dina. Or some of those other siblings…
Oh and then season 4! The problems with Teresa continued. Napa was a disaster, well actually a "disgrace"! And there were Lauren Manzo problems. It's so hard to be as thin and elegant as The Caroline and poor Lauren was disgraced with Ol' Al's body type, as Caroline reminded us like a 10 pound sausage in a 5 pound casing. Nice. Good thing there's lap band.
And finally, The Caroline's final season was upon us. In season 5, Caroline had calmed down considerably. Valium injections? She was over most of her animosity with Teresa and was there to tirelessly promote her children's various business ventures. BLK! The Brownstone! Cafface! Little Town! And her own marital… lets call them…issues.
See Al has been disconnected from The Caroline for a while, it was first evident in season 2's trip to Italy and then Caroline had her own book to tirelessly promote so she hinted that infidelity may have happened. Oh wait no it didn't, that was just a hypothetical. Like a 'What if…' or an 'It could…' What's his mistresses name again?
mmmmmm… bye bitch ! Don't let my bun hit you on the way out!
At the end of the day Caroline no longer felt her spawn's ample talents were showcased well enough on RHONJ against Teresa's never-ending legal and family dramas and Melissa Gorga's never-ending attention-seeking victim act, so she opted for a spinoff. Manzo'd With Children coming to a screen near you!
TELL US – WILL YOU MISS CAROLINE ON RHONJ? WHAT WAS YOUR FAVORITE CAROLINE MOMENT?
All in all I think Caroline really enjoyed her time on RHONJ, as evidenced by the Many Faces of Caroline below!
[Main Photo Credit: Ivan Nikolov/WENN.com/ All Other Photo Credits: BravoTV]
