Kristen Taekman was Brandi Glanville‘s latest guest on her painful podcast, Unfiltered. (not to be confused with her wine, Unfiltered Blonde, but both leave an aftertaste in your mouth) Kristen dished on her Real Housewives of New York co-stars and Brandi interrupted her every fifteen seconds.
Brandi asked Kristen if her co-stars have been supportive of her soon-to-be launched nail polish line, Pop. “Yes, some more than others, and you’ll have to see how the whole thing unfolds because it’s really interesting,” teased Kristen. “The people that you think will be these huge supporters end up not.”
Brandi said Kristen is more guarded this season. “I guess,” she said. “After a couple drinks, though, it all kind of goes away, and I definitely had some crazy verbiage this year.” This prompted Brandi to say she has cut back on her wine consumption. So, down from $1800 worth per month to, like, $1500?
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“Since the whole wine tasting process and learning when my palette turns off,” shared Brandi. “After the second glass, I’m really not tasting it any more. I’m just drinking it for the buzz. My boyfriend always says, ‘The third glass you go to the dark side.’ I’m learning. I’m drinking less, and I’m losing weight because of it, which is exciting.”
Brandi said she thinks the New York housewives are the skinniest of them all. Kristen acknowledged that Carole Radziwill and Bethenny Frankel are thin, but she doesn’t think Bethenny is too thin, “She’s always been consistent.”
“I think she’s too thin,” Brandi said about Bethenny. “But I do know when you go through something traumatic, like divorce or court issues, you’re anxious. And you’re burning calories all day long. But I do think she needs to eat a little. It has to happen.”
Kristen asked Brandi what she thought about Bethenny‘s divorce/custody battle. “I think she’s handling it the best she can,” she said. “Obviously I don’t know the husband but he’s living in the place that she bought. That would drive me batshit crazy. I would want to set him on fire. Having said that, she’s got the money and the means to live elsewhere. Bethenny obviously does not have to be living in hotels and homeless.”
“Sometimes you just have to put your own mental health first and your kids first, as you know that I did, which was so difficult,” continued Brandi. “I think she’s doing the best she can. I do think her little one-liner zingers are a little bit tainted and they are kinda like, we’ve seen it and we’ve heard it, and I want her to do something else.”
About the drama surrounding Bethenny‘s birthday party, Kristen said, “It’s so silly. It’s so high school. I love it. Did you see the party? I didn’t want to go anyway. It was all cougars dancing on tables.” Brandi said Kristen hasn’t been featured enough on Real Housewives of New York this season. “We have eight housewives this year,” bemoaned Kristen. “That’s a lot of ladies. That’s a lot of content.”
Brandi started to complain about Ramona Singer. She bitched about HER issues with Ramona – “she is annoying me more than life itself” – because that is what Brandi does on her podcast. Brandi dominates the conversation, constantly interrupts, and finds a way to make everything about Brandi. Brandi reminded Kristen that she took Ramona out a night last year, because Kristen had asked her to, and it was a disaster.
“Worst night ever. She was so rude to all the staff at the restaurants. So. Rude. I was embarrassed because I go to these places all the time and I know these waiters,” said Brandi. “Then she talked shit about my face on Watch What Happens Live. “She’s like, ‘She’s got too much filler.’ I’m like, ‘Bitch, you cannot even blink your eyes!’ She was acting like she was high as a kite, so I tweeted it. I couldn’t help it.”
Brandi continued, “The day before, she was texting me about me helping her with her book. She was acting like we’re best friends, asking me for Yolanda‘s cell phone number, which I didn’t give to her, and asking me for my book agent’s number and all of this advice. Then to go on TV the next day and talk shit about my face. So I screen shotted her text and I told her she was dead to me and I tweeted it. I’m like, ‘Here, bitch. You’re going to talk shit about me, don’t ask me for advice.’ I feel like I have issues with everyone, but I just cannot let someone talk shit when they’re asking me for advice.”
“No, that’s a little crazy, but I’m not actually surprised,” said Kristen. “I’m not going to lie. I kinda thought she was just like that with me or with the girls on the show. I can’t believe she was rude to people at restaurants here. I remember … I think that was like when all the stuff was going down with Mario.”
Brandi said it was during that time but Ramona insisted her marriage was fine. “I wanted to talk about my divorce,” said Brandi. “I thought maybe we would have that in common, and she was like, ‘No. We’re good.’ I had to apologize to my two girlfriends that I had brought with me because she acted like they didn’t exist.”
Is she dense? (don’t answer that) Did it ever cross Brandi‘s mind that maybe Ramona didn’t want to pour her heart out in front of two complete strangers?!?
About Ramona’s standoffishness, Kristen said, “I don’t understand where this comes from. That might work in your little Upper East Side bubble but once you get out in the real world, especially Beverly Hills, you gotta calm down a bit.”
Moving on, Brandi asked Kristen a question. Imagine that. “What to expect?” she asked about what’s to come on Real Housewives of New York. “So far I see you and Luann de Lesseps getting along.”
“I love Lu,” Kristen shared. “Luann has really… I want to say come out of her shell, but that’s ridiculous, because she’s been on the show for so long long… but it’s just interesting how the dynamic changes. So, Bethenny is back, and I feel like it kind of ruffles all of our feathers a bit. But in a really great way. She really stirs it up hard core. She brings out a different dynamic of Ramona and Sonja and Luann.”
Brandi interrupted to say Bethenny‘s favored. Like Lisa Vanderpump.
“There’s this jealousy gene that goes crazy, especially with Ramona and those people who started out with Bethenny,” she surmised. “It’s like all of a sudden she’s super fancy. We went through this on my show with Lisa Vanderpump, who barely showed up to anything one year. It was just because she had other shows on, but we were like, ‘Why is she getting paid the most and she does not have to come to anything?'”
Kristen teased, “You see a whole different side of Luann this year. Wait until our trip to Turks and Caicos. It really goes down. I wish I could tell you more but it’s CRAZY.”
Brandi said she loved Luann‘s “don’t be all, like, uncool” line. “She was so hung over,” said Kristen. “It was amazing. Who would ever think the Countess would be sitting here, like, hungover in a bikini?!?” Cue Brandi, complaining about Brandi having to wear a bikini on Brandi’s show. Because, Brandi, Brandi, Brandi.
Brandi changed the subject to the “new girls” on Real Housewives of New York. “Bethenny, she’s the new/old girl, and Dorinda, who is amazing,” Kristen said. “You would love Dorinda. She’s hilarious… the one-liners that comes out of Dorinda’s mouth… oh my God.”
About the backlash over last season’s ‘not the sharpest tool in the shed, but I’m pretty’ tagline, Kristen grumbled, “People are so annoying. I realized that there’s a lot of freaking dumb people out there. You put that out there and it’s like, ‘Are you kidding me? It’s okay for me to say this. I’m talking about myself.’ Let’s not forget the other taglines. It was not like, all these super serious ones and then mine. They wanted funny ones for New York. It was cute and kitsch.”
Brandi made a comment about the “legit a lot of f–king money” the New York housewives have. Kristen was like, the Beverly Hills housewives have money and multiple houses, too, don’t they? Brandi said, “Everyone has one really nice house. Kyle has one in Palm Springs [too] that she stole from her sister.”
She added that Camille Grammer has real money but was fired because she put herself “above the fray” and didn’t engage. “You have to be willing to engage,” insisted Brandi. “You have to. It doesn’t mean you have to throw wine like myself…”
Kristen interrupted and went off, “Why did you get so much flack for that when Ramona didn’t get anything for me and I bled? Everybody just likes to think, ‘Oh she’s such a cry baby.’ I was in the water and I was bleeding from my lip!”
This prompted a chat about Lisa Rinna in Amsterdam. Kristen shrieked, “I was thinking to myself, ‘OMG! She shattered a glass at a restaurant! Who does that?!?’ And that did not look like that was the first time she had ever done that.” Brandi complained about everyone blaming Kim Richards for provoking Lisa. “Kim didn’t say anything,” said Brandi. “You don’t get provoked to throw a glass. She gets a giant pass.”
Super serious, Kristen added, “Nobody even talked about the glass shards in your hair.”
Brandi said David and Yolanda Foster called her before Yolanda jetted off to Germany, adding, “David goes, ‘We were just talking and you don’t get a freaking break on that show. Lisa Rinna shattered a glass and tried to choke Kim across the table. You throw a little wine and no one’s even talking about Lisa Rinna.’ I’m like, ‘David, do you mind writing this in a statement so I can turn it in?’ Yolanda’s laughing and she’s like, ‘It’s just not okay.'”
Kristen talked about Bethenny getting bent out of shape over whether or not she knew Josh and Kristen prior to her return to RHONY.
“It’s so funny. I never said that they were best friends, that they hung out, that they shared an email, that they call each other all the time,” said Kristen. “The simple question was, does your husband know Bethenny? Yes. Like, they know each other well enough to stop on the street and have a full-on conversation for ten minutes and have paparazzi take pictures. I will pull it up. It’s like, ‘do you know my husband: yes or no?’ Yes. I’ve met you two times at an event. You clearly don’t remember. I will NOT make shit up. Why would I want to make this shit up? It’s crazy. It’s just so silly.”
Kristen added, “The problem is, there’s eight women on my show this year and it’s like that stupid telephone game. You say one thing and it gets down to the other end and it’s like, ‘They’re best friends and they hang out.’ I think that’s how it came across to her and that’s when she did the whole ‘snore, boring, I’m sleeping, wake me up’ thing. You know, being nice to people gets you really far in this world.”
“A compliment will get you every where,” agreed Brandi. “Just because you’ve made your gazillion dollars on Skinny Girl doesn’t mean that you get to mistreat people or be mean or pretend to snore when they’re talking. Jake does that. He’s 8. When he has a conversation that he doesn’t want to hear he’ll not make eye contact and pretend to snore.”
Brandi asked about Dorinda. “She’s lived an amazing life and her daughter is awesome,” gushed Kristen. “She is seriously the funniest person. If she comes to L.A., you have to interview her. She’s so witty and hilarious.”
“She definitely seems like my kind of girl,” Brandi said. “She’s grounded and normal. She’s not faking it. But the fact that she’s so close with Ramona makes me wonder. How did that happen?”
Kristen explained that Ramona and Dorinda‘s girls went to school together. She was like, So they have that mommy bond. You know how that is. Brandi was like, Yeah, no. But she claimed geography was the reason she isn’t friends with any of her sons’ classmates’ parents. Surrrrrre.
Brandi asked Kristen if she would ever consider posing for Playboy. “I’m going to take my hands and strangle you and then throw my wine glass at you,” joked Kristen. “They don’t want my old ass up in there any more. Do they retouch? A lot?” Brandi argued, “You do not need retouching. You are a liar. I’ve seen you naked.”
Kristen went on to suggest, “They should do a whole housewives spread. That would be kinda fun.” Um, no. No. It. Would. Not.
“They should get Melissa Gorga from New Jersey,” added Brandi. “You from Housewives of New York. I would do it from Beverly Hills. Cause I think Lisa Rinna‘s already done it ten times. She did it while she was pregnant. She’s got a great body even though she’s a little thin. Yolanda also has a great body, but I don’t think David would want her naked.”
Kristen said she doubted Josh would let her do it, so possible Playboy: Real Housewives Edition crisis averted. <wipes sweat from forehead>
TELL US – YOUR THOUGHTS ON BRANDI AND KRISTEN’S RHONY CHAT? SUGGESTIONS FOR A PLAYBOY: THE REAL HOUSEWIVES SPREAD?
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