Last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New York City Reunion, Part 2: Where The Wild Things Are was equally beastly, equally catty, and equally spiteful as these ladies just cannot stop ripping each other to shreds! And for all the arguing about what a dirty word Class is, I hoped one of these housewives would find an ounce of it!
Things resume with Jill “storming off” the Brunette sofa to prove a point against Ramona snarking on LuAnn’s “weekend parenting.” LuAnn is frustrated that Ramona seems to spend an inordinate amount of time discussing how she raises her children, instead of spending time with her own child; she is also frustrated that Sonja would participate in such a discussion with Ramona. Sonja insists that she defended LuAnn but it was not on camera. Uh-huh – that’s the oldest line in Reality TV, but actually I DO believe Sonja would defend LuAnn, because she seems to be very loyal to her friends.
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Andy wants to know if it wasn’t just a tad hypocritical of Ramona to insist LuAnn’s music video didn’t send the right message to her daughter when she gave Avery a sweet sixteen at a club where she invited her adult friends and served alcohol. Ramona reminds Andy, it wasn’t actually Avery’s party – it was her forever young party a joint party. Oo-ooh. Ramona, also, explains it was Avery who insisted she refrain from the ever-so-risqué music video, because LuAnn’s last video was embarrassing (yes, it was) and her refusal to participate had nothing at all to do with being LuAnn’s frienemy.
LuAnn retorts with a worthy zinger – her video is embarrassing, but Avery witnessing Mario get mauled massaged by Ramona in a sexy (for Blanche Devereaux) negligee isn’t embarrassing? To illustrate just how embarrassing, Jill gives us some accompanying Cinemax Afterdark sound effects for dramatic affect, while rubbing Kelly’s feet. How old are these women? Ramona insists Avery was only a little embarrassed by that perfectly natural scene between her parents on a reality show, but she would “freak” if Ramona participated in a music video. Anyone else not buying this? LuAnn also brings up Ramona allowing Avery to participate in shopping for burlesque costumes, although Avery declined to attend Sonja’s party. Ramona claims it was a “private party” and so it doesn’t count. Well, you can’t apply reason to crazy, folks – let’s just leave it at that!
Andy asks if LuAnn is more confrontational this season than in season’s pasts? LuAnn claims she was being confronted more, which led to her confronting right back! A viewer asks why LuAnn always takes Jill’s side in any – and all – fights? I might dare say it’s because they’re friends – am I too optimistic? Alex declares its because Jill has enough dirt on LuAnn for a landfill. How long has Alex been rehearsing that one-liner and waiting to drop it? Jill reminds us that she thinks Alex is a B-I-T-C-H (no F-word this time!) LuAnn maintains she loves all the women and doesn’t mean to meddle. Right.
Andy shows footage of Jill as a “changed woman” this season, and by changed Andy must mean more heavily botoxed, because that’s about the only change I saw! There are many clips of Jill snarking, meddling, and “staying away from gossip” to remind us just how far she’s come since season’s past. Andy goes right to the source and wants to know what’s different? Jill has no answer – which pretty much sums it up, in my opinion. Jill insists she is honest, caring, loyal, and sometimes blunt but never with a mean intent prompting Ramona to mutter that Jill is “copying her words.” Oh sheesh, girls – Grow up! Andy seriously needs to get out the time out chair.
Andy wants to know how the Ramona vs. Jill bluntness differs. Well naturally it’s because Ramona deliberately tries to hurt people and Jill doesn’t. And things come back to Ramona making digs at people’s families. Jill claims she has learned not to hold a grudge from She Who Shall Not Be Named (but begins with B and ends in e-t-h-e-n-n-y), but cannot let go of the things Ramona has said about her and her family, so that grudge remains firmly intact.
Ramona admits Jill is trying to change but she is basically the same. A viewer question comes in asking the obvious (and this applies to all the ladies, really): does Jill remember all her backstabbing is captured on film? Jill wants examples of how she is backstabbing and two-faced (seriously?) and Sonja brings up that at her Burlesque performance Jill complimented her on her performance but then behind her back on camera made non-stop mean comments. Jill claims Sonja was attacking all of them, referring to them as “bitches” during the performance and um… no Sonja has a lot of bitches she is fighting in her life right now, thank you very much – why on earth would Jill assume she was in that category?
Jill admits what she said about Alex at Jennifer’s wedding was horrible. Alex declares if she was trying to socialize above her station she would stay away from all the Brunettes because they are a “liability.” Kelly Krazybeans wants to know if Ms. McCord is smoking crack (um, no, but YOU may be, Kelly dear) because she is awesome! LuAnn points out to Alex, that everyone social climbs (even The Countess!), but that Alex insulting The Hamptons goes too far. Alex insists that prior to THIS acting gig, she had other acting gigs in films that went to the Hamptons International Film Festival – films no one has ever heard up, but that’s irrelevant – because she has grown to like The Hamptons for what it is – a place for Silex to vacation free of charge at Ramona’s house. You know Alex, while she’s in The Hamptons working – everyone else is in high school.
Andy brings up The Bethenny Issue with Jill. Jill explains she is proud of Bethenny and happy she got everything she wanted. Jill lets us know they have communicated (uh-oh, does Bethenny know about this?!) and she hopes one day they look back on this and laugh. You know what, I hope so too! They really did seem like true friends in S1 and S2. Jill admits sometimes she is wrong and she does apologize, to which Alex points out, then she keeps doing “more stuff.”
The Pinot Factor aka Pinot Singer’s ever-questing need for white wine at any and all occasions – appropriate or not is visited. Andy brings up that viewers have been questioning if the abundance of Pinot-use could mean someone has a problem, to which Ramona blames editing. Andy brings up Jill’s blog where she questions if Ramona is taking her pinot-ing too far? Ramona’s retort is that even though Jill had a problem with alcohol that led to her attending AA, she does not. Jill, who was just trying to out Ramona’s “drinking problem” shrugs it off, claiming she has drank socially and attended AA with a friend, but doesn’t really drink, and reminds Ramona that it is anonymous.
Ramona insists if the ladies think she has a problem they should tell her to her face. While no one fesses up directly calling her an alcoholic, LuAnn offers that often the drinking seems obsessive and leads to ridiculous behavior. A viewer question asks if Ramona could be headed towards alcoholism given her family history, but Ramona explains she only drinks white wine and sometimes red, so that’s impossible. Um..no, interjects Andy, wine can also be addictive. Ramona wants to know how she could be an alcoholic with – here we go: five businesses, married 18-years, yada, yada, yada… prompting Kelly to jump in and suggest Ramona could be a “functioning alcoholic.”
A viewer question brings up Pinot basically ruining Ramona’s friendship with Cindy during the infamous birthday party in Quogue where Ramona barged in demanding pinot, like it was a blood transfusion. Ramona fails to see how her behavior was inappropriate at all – I mean real friends keep Pinot on tap for her at allll times. Cindy wants the “chicken heads quacking like ducks” aka The Blondes to can it. Ramona ends the discussion by thanking God for allowing her to be a functioning alcoholic and she hopes to be one for the next 50 years because she loves it! And yeah, paging Intervention!
Kelly points out she believes part of the problem may be Ramona wanting to promote her wine (not to be confused with alcohol) ala Mrs. Hoppy, but that Bethenny never drank her own Skinnygirl drinks. Really, she said that. The anti-bullying event is brought up and Ramona’s behavior, specifically that she called Jill’s step-daughter “deformed.” Ramona does offer a kind apology to Jennifer for using the incorrect word.
LuAnn’s “sharp tongue” is mentioned and Alex reminds LuAnn that she should perhaps read that little book she penned on etiquette, but LuAnn wrote it and needs no refresher courses, thank you very much! Jill even calls LuAnn out on her digs, but LuAnn reveals it is often all in fun. Veneeto, Venetto – let’s call the whole thing off!
Herman Munster Shoes is addressed and it was actually Kelly who coined the term! Kelly also takes this opportunity to inform Alex she makes really bad fashion choices – like say her bondage, studs, dominatrix dress that got her thrown out of a party or two, but this from a woman who often wears Jrs. Department tops and tries to pass them off as “dresses.” LuAnn addresses her unnatural adherence to The Countess title, and experiences a Freudian slip when she reveals she will give it up when she gets married – to Jacques! Oooohhh…
LuAnn tactfully handles why the women declined the music video invite, and admits it hurt her feelings, particularly given her song has an “inspirational” message. AHAHAH! Alex’s allergy to class is brought up (and I wish she would develop a similar allergy to eye liner!), and LuAnn wants to know why that “C” word isn’t ok, but Simon calling her Countess is?
The dirty “S” word is then brought up –Simon. Footage of Simonisms and the ladies annoyance with him is shown. Jill wants to know if Alex knows what “MeanTweets” Simon is sending out? Don’t we all? Alex is instantly on the defense and points out none of the celebloggers have gotten wind of any of these so-called MeanTweets, so therefore they must not exists. Ok, Jill give it up – stop drinking the Kell-aid – you never got any MeanTweets from Simon.
Andy tells Alex that Simon’s comment of “watch out” does sound like a threat. The ladies are pretty much unanimous that Simon is overly involved in HW drama. Clearly. Alex does not seem bothered by Simon’s comments to the ladies, and Alex feels Simon has done nothing wrong this season. Really? Not even the muu-muu? Alex claims she reigns Simon in quite a bit, which is scary considering! Jill declares she is “done” with Silex and right back atcha Jillzy!
Next Andy brings up Morocco, which still hasn’t recovered from Ramonja. Ramona is confronted about her close-minded comments about Morocco. Ramona’s defense is that she was simply pointing out the obvious – a lot of people are poor in Morocco. Sonja is asked if she is racist after freaking out about her bags being stolen – Sonja claims she’s not biased – she’s even this anal about her clothing when visiting “The Royal Palace” (at Disney World?)
Alex is on the hot seat again for desperately trying to prove her BFF status by fighting eveyone’s battles for them. Andy questions if Alex knew while she was arguing for Ramona with LuAnn and Kelly, Ramona was running around giggling with her real bestie? Alex and Ramona claim it was actually at two different times, but Andy steps state that he personally checked the tapes it was actually the SAME time. Oops. Alex offers some roundabout defense and claims it was LuAnn’s reaction to her confrontation that made her truly upset. LuAnn wants to know if Alex volunteered to attack her or if Ramona put her up to it – Ramona concurs she was too busy having fun to deal with LuAnn so she dispatched Alex to do so and Alex gladly consented! Oh, Alex.
Alex plugs her own product when she brings up “Thug In A Cocktail Dress” T-Shirts for which she has two for LuAnn, which LuAnn denounces sarcastically as “classy.” Jill points out that Alex also made some rude comments behind people’s backs, and Alex starts ranting about the wedding comments again and how they supposedly burned the past until she heard that little moment on camera. Jill sends Alex a memo that says: “ I don’t care about YOU anymore.” Andy wonders why Alex listened to Kelly when she instructed Alex to open and close her eyes repeatedly at the Riad following the LuAnn confrontation. Alex, EXCUSE ME!, claims she was afraid of another scary island style meltdown so she simply went along with it.
LuAnn claims it was impossible to make Kelly look crazy compared to Alex in that scene (Santa, anyone!?!?!). Jill and LuAnn take this moment to do a little meditative ohm-ing, which definitely does nothing to calm things down as Kelly gets involved and it dissolves into full-fledged bickering. LuAnn throwing Alex out at dinner is brought up and Kelly interjects that Alex is a terrible actress due to her randomness- and sums things up by explaining Alex is “weird” and non nice. Crazy pot meet kettle.
The fortune teller is finally brought up and Ramona reveals she trusts Mario so she put no stock in the prediction. LuAnn brings up the pool table scene and Alex jumps to the defense claiming that girl was flirting with both Mario and Simon (um…no, not Simon).
LuAnn reveals she and Jacques are going to Paris where they will all be having dinner WITH The Count. Oooohhhh… Bravo – get on filming this, please! Jill is caught in a snide remark about Ramona wanting a second child for herself, because everything is always about Ramona. Jill and Ramona definitely have that in common! Andy asks if anyone is worried about Bethenny’s mult-million dollar worth and everyone gives her thinly veiled props, except for Sonja who seems actually happy for Bethenny’s personal successes. Jill and Alex agree to not be friends and that’s ok. Things end with Kelly and Alex arguing about if Alex is iced out of the group.
Whew it’s over! Andy was practically running for the door and frankly, I couldn’t turn my TV off fast enough! Money can’t buy you class, my friends, but if it could Andy would be out of a job!
So, thoughts? Should this cast be ex-nayed? Do you believe Ramona has a drinking problem or a product promotion one? Was THREE HOURS of reunion time too long or just enough? Would you buy a Thug In A Cocktail Dress T-shirt?
