Could it be? Has it been an entire season of Jersey Shore? Are we really saying arrivederci to Florence with our favorite gorilla juiceheads and guidettes? It seems like only yesterday the meatballs were hooking up with one another and Mike was bashing his head into a wall. Ahh, memories. I mean, this was the season that had a bearable, dare I say likeable, Rawn and Sam! That, in itself, is mind boggling.
We rejoin the group at the tail end of their clubbing. At home, Mike continues to talk to himself and practice karate on the walls. Snooki wakes up and proceeds to ignore Mike as he wanders aimlessly around the house having a solo conversation. The rest of the roommates return home from the clerb, with Sam begging Rawn to talk some sense into Mike after his antics earlier in the evening.
The Situation confides in Ronnie that he feels like the villain. Ronnie knows that Mike has been depressed and he wants him to try to mend fences with the housemates. A slightly defensive Mike says he doesn’t care if his roommates don’t like him. He has gotten used to be alone. Sammi commends Rawn for at least trying to talk to Mike.
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It’s the last shift at the pizzeria for Sammi, Pauly D, and Vinny. Sammi, for one, loved the job, which is refreshing seeing as what a phenomenal employee she was at the Shore Store. Pauly D spends most of his final minutes at work teasing female customers and cracking up his Italian pizzeria counterparts with his attempts to speak the language. Even Vinny is sad to say good bye to their Italian job.
Back home, Sammi and Rawn don’t even try to be incognito about a mid-afternoon trip to the smush room. Sam even carries bedding with her through the den while Pauly D laughs at the couple. Again MTV, enough with cameras in the sex room…is Joe Francis your new CEO? Pauly D finds it even more hilarious that the pair makes the walk of shame back through the den a mere five minutes later. Sucks to be Sammi…
Across the house, Mike calls his sister and reveals that he won’t be going back to the Shore. Snooki overhears this conversation and runs to tell Deena what Mike said. Both girls think that he’s just acting like this to get attention, and they wouldn’t be super sad if he didn’t go to Seaside Heights. Mike resumes his spot on the sofa to sulk.
It’s one of the gang’s last nights at the clerb, but JWoww is too sick to join her friends. She calls her boyfriend Roger while everyone else heads out into the night. Deena isn’t feeling the club and convinces her meatball better half to go elsewhere. Likewise, Vinny feels like the girls are getting uglier the drunker he gets, which is a very rare and unusual phenomenon. Mike is feeling the ladies in the basement bar and wants to stay.
The meatballs take to the streets and find a girl in a bar who may be their missing meatball. Deena thinks that the girl is being “an annoying” and grabs her purse, which has just been violated by said girl. VP (Vinny/Pauly) arrives to drink and dance with Deena and Snooks. At the same time Mike, Rawn and Sam are heading home from dungeon clerb, VP and the meatballs (that is totally the name of my non-existent band!) leave Club Twice.
Pauly D has found a girl who is DTF, so he’s pretty stoked. However, DTF for this chick means Down To Fall. Which she does. Hard. On the cobblestone. Always the gentleman, Pauly D declares her too tipsy to come back to the casa and hails her a cab. Somehow the meatballs get lost on the walk home, and all I can say is Deena’s feet are super nersty.
The gang is taking laundry to their pizzeria boss to remember them by…it’s apparently something their boss Marco does…ie, it’s not as weird as it felt to type. Pauly takes a t-shirt,and Sammi takes some of her infamous short-shorts. Deena, keeping it classy, takes a hot pink thong.
The boys are serving an American style grill-fest for their last meal. Pauly D is thrilled to get back to the States to tan. The group decides that their itinerary for the rest of the trip is sightsee, clerb, go home. Vinny is booking a tour for the group. Good gracious. I predict Italy is about to hate us even more. Just a hunch.
Snooki goes to smoke on the balcony, which happens to be next to Mike’s pouting couch. He tells her how much he is going to miss her as he is absolutely, one-hundred percent, not going to the Jersey Shore. Snooki says it’s his decision, and Mike is a tad shocked that she didn’t try to convince him otherwise. Mike, were you around this season?
The roommates’ tour begins at the Duomo, and I want to shake most of the cast for d*cking around (excuse my language) on what is an amazing trip. At least Michelangelo’s David holds their attention. Always respectful, Mike spends a lot of time going off to sit by himself during the tour. Give me a break. And I retract my former statement…the group, sans Mike, now seems to be embracing the tour and soaking up the culture. Vinny is inspired by the tour. Ronnie and Pauly muse (yes, muse!) about the beauty of the city. The gang is rehashing their time in Italy, and Mike makes tiny attempts to join the conversation. Then, as part of his self-proclaimed “master plan,” he apologizes to his roommates. Jenni finds it incredibly sincere…not.
It is finally the last hurrah (for realz), and of course, Mike starts picking fights with other bar patrons. Shocking. Once they return home, VP has pulled their signature move and moved Deena’s bed. In her attempt to put it back, she inadvertently does her signature move…falling over and landing under the mattress. Not to be out-pranked, the meatballs think it would be hysterical to move all the dead plants inside from the balcony and around the house and place them on the kitchen table. Hilarious? Um.
Snooki takes it upon herself to wake up all the roommates for the official last breakfast/mimosa party in Italy. Mike is cooking for everyone, and the roommates agree that it’s because he’s just plain manipulative. Mike has a big announcement…he was contemplating not going to the shore, but thankfully, he’s changed his mind. Everyone looks beyond thrilled. Pauly D has grand plans to GTL as the group packs for home. They do build a stellar mattress slide to transport the luggage, and the ladies, down the steep stairs. The finale ends with a total set-up for Mike to continue his “bad guy behavior” at the Shore. Wow, that was anticlimactic.
Reunion – The reunion also aired last night during which Mike and Snooki once again argued about the hook up that did or didn’t happen. The guys sided with Mike while the women sided with the Snooks. Sammi and Ronnie, who have now broken up again, were still together during this reunion taping which made for a lackluster show. So the question is –
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WHAT DID YOU THINK OF THIS BORING FINALE & REUNION? WILL YOU WATCH THE GANG BACK AT SEASIDE HEIGHTS? IS IT WEIRD THAT I REFER TO THEM AS THE “GANG” LIKE THEY DRIVE A NEON GREEN VAN AND SOLVE MYSTERIES? WHAT DO YOU THINK ABOUT MIKE’S BEHAVIOR?
