When last we left Below Deck Sailing Yacht (which seems like only minutes ago), Chief Engineer Colin MacRae and Chief Stewardess Daisy Kelliher were having a serious discussion about how First Mate Gary King was disrupting their relationship.
“I am definitely starting to realize,” Daisy interviewed, “that I need to put some distance between mine and Gary’s relationship, in order to have some control over Colin and my relationship.” We’ll see how that goes. I don’t think Gary is going to give up easily.
Preparing for the Anything But Clothes (ABC) Party
Captain Glenn Shephard thought the ABC party would be a “naked” event. But as the guests were getting ready, it looked like “anything but clothes” meant exactly that. The guests were getting dressed in duct tape, chains and wires, and water floaties. The shot of Todd’s mom Debra kneeling in front of him, blowing up the unicorn around his waist, was borderline obscene. At least very suggestive.
Junior Stew Lucy Edmunds was clad in a garbage bag. “My butt is f*cking sweaty right now in these bin bags,” she interviewed. “I would not f*cking go to an ABCDEFG party again.”
Dressed in her normal uniform, Chef Ileisha Dell announced the first course for dinner. “Here we have some cultivated oysters and some wild oysters with a pink peppercorn mignonette.”
As she walked away, Todd’s mom Debra asked, “Have you ever seen such a tiny chef?”
For the second course, Ileisha presented a Rainbow Pappardelle with Burnt Butter Sauce and grated manchego. Sounds delish!
Todd was smitten. “Will you become our nanny?” he asked Ileisha.
Another hellscape in the guest cabins
While the guests enjoyed their dinner, Lucy and Daisy were down below cleaning guest cabins. They were a terrible mess, covered with the detritus of everyone getting ready for the ABC party. At least it’s not puke in the sink this time.
Gary, dressed in what looks like toilet paper and a traffic cone covering his genitals, was recruited for a game of ring toss. He gamely lay down on an ottoman, while the guests aimed plastic coathangers at his cone.
The guests didn’t have very good aim. “One hanger out of 21,” Gary later reported to Glenn, who laughed uproariously.
Clearing the table after dinner, Lucy happily said, “Last night I have to do this.”
Gary stirs the pot one more time
“Last sleep I get to sleep with my Sea Doggy Dog,” Gary said, crawling into his bunk above Colin. “This was a rollercoaster of a season … So what’s going to happen with you and Daisy?”
“What do you mean?” Colin asked.
“It’s either going to be you and her together,” Gary continued, “or it’s going to f*cking end very badly. Don’t let a good friendship go, due to something that you guys don’t even know if it could work out.” I think Gary’s the last one who should be giving relationship advice.
“After everything that’s happened between Gary and I,” Colin interviewed, “the lies and the flirting and the manipulating, our friendship is the one that’s in jeopardy. So, nothing he says is affecting how I feel about Daisy.”
Praying for strength
Lucy was still on duty behind the bar, waiting for the last couple of guests to go to bed. Deckhand Chase Lemacks, on anchor watch, came in and knelt next to her behind the bar. “Dear God, give us the strength to get through this next 24 hours.” Cute, Chase.
“Tomorrow night’s going to need some strength as well,” Chase added, as guests Todd and Grant were shown sneaking down the stairs from the sundeck completely naked to pee over the side of the boat. Thanks for blurring that, Bravo.
Apparently, they actually slept all night under the stars, because the next morning Todd and Grant were folding up their bedding on the sundeck, with clothes on this time. I’m actually a little jealous. Sleeping under the stars is awesome.
Last day of the charter season
The crew was looking forward to saying goodbye to the guests and having an evening out to blow off some steam.
Coming off his anchor watch, Chase wished a good morning to the other deckhand Alex Propson. “Really looking forward to tonight,” Chase said. “I’m ready to see you make some moves [on Junior Stew Madison “Mads” Herrera].”
“Gary’s not gonna be my boss in a matter of hours,” Chase interviewed. “To me, that’s fair game.” All season, Chase claimed that the only thing preventing him from going after Mads was that he didn’t want to make it awkward with Gary. Also, he’s usually too drunk to make it happen. We’ll see if he can restrict his alcohol intake enough tonight to get something going with Mads.
“Your last meal of the season, Cheffy!” Gary told Ileisha, who was making breakfast in the galley. Grabbing Mads and planting a big kiss on her, she made her objections known, “No, no, no, no, no!”
“This roller coaster ride is not one I want to ride anymore,” Mads interviewed. “So I’m trying to avoid [Gary] like the plague.”
Heading back to the dock one last time
Glenn radioed Gary, “You guys can start packing up.” But they’d already started, knowing it was almost time to go.
“This is it, our last cruise home, G,” Alex said. “Appreciate your patience and teaching.” What teaching? Gary was more interested in chasing the girls than in teaching his crew. “What a guy,” Alex muttered, as Gary left the laz without acknowledging Alex’s undeserved thanks.
As the last breakfast items were carried out to the guests, Ileisha and Alex celebrated in the galley. “We did it, we did!” they chanted, jumping up and down.
Gary pressures Mads
Catching Mads alone in the laundry room, Gary pressed her to define where they stand with their relationship.
“Um … ,” Mads stalled. Gary’s just not picking up on what she’s putting down (or not putting down, in this case). “I thought we were just having fun.”
“Are we?” he said. “Okay, that’s fine.” And he made a hasty exit from the laundry room, much to Madison’s relief.
“What I would have liked,” Gary interviewed, “is to tell me this from after the first time we hooked up and I asked you, how is it between us?” Um, I think she did.
And one of the producers affirms that for me, “What if I told you she did?” She did, and Gary wasn’t listening. She told him over and over and never really showed any interest in him unless she was drunk and horny. Gary’s really bad at reading signals.
“Did she?” Gary asked. “What did she say?”
“It’s just fun, it’s just sex,” the producer answered him.
“Did she say that? When?” Oh, Gary. You are such a bad listener. Cue the clips of all the times Mads told Gary she was “just having sex,” she was “going with the flow,” “just having fun,” “this isn’t serious,” etc. At one point Mads outright told him, “What is happening with us? Nothing.” He never heard any of it.
One last sail for the season
Glenn gave Daisy “two minutes” to get the breakfast things cleared, so they could go for one last sail before reaching the dock.
“I really should work on a motorboat,” Daisy told Mads. “I think it’d be much better for my temperament.”
As the sails went up and the boat heeled over, Daisy asked Ileisha, “Will you ever work in a sailboat again?”
“Nah!” responded Ileisha. It is a beautiful boat, especially under sail. It would just be hard to work at an angle like that.
“Parsifal had a hard time this summer,” Glenn voice-overed. “She’s put us through hell. And to get to this point just seemed out of reach, like it wasn’t going to happen. But we made it through.”
“And now we’re gonna finish on a high note,” Glenn added, “doing exactly what she does best. Attagirl! She’s shining.”
Joining the crew on deck for the first time this season, Ileisha exclaimed, “This is amazing up here. Is this what it’s like, hey?”
Madison sees drama ahead
Back in their cabin, Mads told Lucy, “I think tonight there’s gonna be drama. Gary’s just like, ‘So I’ve caught feelings.’ And I was just like, ‘Well, we’re having fun … ‘ Like, we get drunk and have sex. Like, what do you want?”
“Honestly, I think he’s more into Daisy than me,” she added. Bingo! Give the girl a prize.
Lucy asked her if she didn’t have more sexual tension with Alex, and Mads admitted that she did. Oh, there will be trouble tonight.
The last goodbye
Glenn radioed for the crew to line up on the dock to say goodbye to the guests. “You were wonderful,” Todd’s mom Debra told the crew. She was the sweetest, and her son was, too.
“I believe I need to hand this over to you guys,” Todd told the captain, as he handed over a fat envelope. “Oh, my God! Out of this world! I’m feeling the love here [his stomach] and here [his heart] from you guys.”
“And a little bit in the liver,” his partner Grant added.
As the crew waved and the captain gave the traditional honk of the horn, Chase collapsed on the dock very dramatically.
Gary freaked out, “Chase, Chase, get up, brü! What the f*ck are you doing? The guests are still there! Come on! Have some common decency, brü.” It was a joke, dude. Relax. Both Alex and Chase are over Gary’s nonsense and can’t wait to get out from under his despotic rule.
“Well, I wasn’t sure we were ever going to get to this point,” Glenn said, rejoining his crew. “But we made it! Last time we’re gonna do that.”
“This was the season from hell,” he added, “and we survived.”
Last clean-up of the boat
While doing their last round of cleaning the boat, Chase and Alex let off some steam. “F*ck that guy,” said Chase. “I do one little thing, it’s like, ‘get the f*ck off my boat. Can’t wait to get you out of here.'”
“Yeah,” Alex agreed, “that guy sucks.”
“He turned into a royal f*cking asshole,” Chase added.
“Kind of who he is,” Alex said.
“I want to have a good night,” Chase concluded, “but I do not want to punch this guy in the face.”
The final tip meeting
Glenn called the crew to the “saloon” for the final tip meeting. “From thinking that we’d never get off the dock … I have to say, I’m really proud of how we pulled together as a team,” he said. He complimented various members of the crew and how they had grown during the season.
“This charter tip comes out to $17,500 US dollars.” I would’ve expected more, considering how high-maintenance they were.
Lucy was unimpressed. “17 grand to flush your sh*t over and over? F*ck off! But I’m definitely gonna stay positive, ’cause it’s over!”
Glenn announced that he’d arranged dinner for the crew at a really nice restaurant. He would stop in for a drink, but he would be staying off the boat tonight in order to get a good night’s sleep. I always wonder how he sleeps at all when his crew is drunk and crazy. Champagne all around!
Off to dinner (for the last time)
In the cab going to dinner, Lucy asked Daisy what she thought would happen with her and Colin after the season was over. “I really like him, and I’m happy,” Daisy said. “He’s very insecure about our relationship, which I don’t hold against him, but I think we definitely want to see each other.”
After joining the group for one last drink together, Glenn said his goodbyes and left for his cushy hotel. He would, of course, be back the next day to say goodbye to the crew.
“I gave you trouble earlier today,” Gary told Chase at the table. “Sorry about that. You’ve been copping a lot of sh*t this whole f*cking season, bro.”
“We definitely butted heads at first,” Chase admitted, “but I respect the hierarchy. We both came in 100 miles an hour trying to do a good job.”
“That’s what I like about you,” Gary responded, “is that you come in at 100 miles per hour. I’ve never worked with a deckhand like you, honestly.”
“There’s a lot of things that I want to say to him,” Chase interviewed, “about his leadership and some of the sh**ty things that he’s done this season, but I think it’s best not to burn bridges. You know what I mean?”
Gary feels rejected by Mads
As Madison and Alex flirted with each other at the end of the table, Gary watched sadly, telling Lucy he was “heartbroken.”
“I haven’t had to deal with rejection all too often,” Gary said, “because Gary doesn’t get rejected.” Or maybe he just doesn’t hear it when he does. And seriously, dude, you’re talking about yourself in the third person?
In the van on the way back to the boat, Alex finally planted a big kiss on Madison. She was ecstatic! “Alex finally made a move!” Hopefully, he’s not too drunk to follow through with the rest of the evening. YKWIM?
When they arrived back at the Parsifal, Mads said, “It’s about to be an interesting night, isn’t it?” I think she’s finally going to get her wish.
In their cabin, Mads confessed to Ileisha, “Alex and me made out in the cab. I obviously have to tell Gary.” Why, Mads? He’s not your boyfriend. And he saw you and Alex holding hands. I don’t think you need to go there.
Out on deck, Ileisha asked Alex, “Do you ‘like her’ like her?”
“I do like Mads,” he said. “That’s been the issue all season.”
“You’re gonna be in a sh*tstorm,” Lucy told him. “You okay? Mads is telling Gary now.”
“Why would she tell Gary?” Alex asked, echoing my sentiments.
Mads makes a tactical error in judgment
Back in Gary’s cabin, where the first mate had already retired to lick his wounds, Madison was paying a visit to twist the knife a little further under the guise of “being honest.” Not a great idea, Mads.
“Ummmmmm,” she began, “in the cab … me and Alex … we made out, yeah. I didn’t want you to hear it from someone else.”
“Get the f*ck out of my room,” Gary told her.
“Are you serious right now?” Of course, he’s serious, Mads. How old are you? Why would you tell someone you’ve been trying to free yourself from all season that you made out with the guy you really wanted the whole time? That’s just kind of sadistic. Of course, he’s upset!
After telling her repeatedly to just get the f*ck out of his room, Mads persisted, “Can we not talk about it for two f*cking seconds?” What is there to talk about, Mads? You’ve made it clear you’re not interested in Gary. Why are you putting him through this? It’s messed up.
“I asked you, do you have a thing for him, and now you hook up with him? Get the f*ck out of my room,” Gary continued. “You just played me like a f*cking fiddle. Get the f*ck out of my room. I don’t ever want to see you again in my life.” I warned her.
“Gary’s reaction is exactly why I didn’t break things off with him in the middle of the season,” Mads interviewed. “I don’t know if Gary even f*cking cares that me and Alex kissed or if he’s more upset that he looks like a fool. Because ultimately, Gary’s not serious about anyone — except for Daisy.”
The next morning, Mads bumped into Gary on her way to get some breakfast. “What’s up?” she asked him. “Do you hate me?” When Gary ignored her, she responded, “Good chat,” and kept walking.
The crew says goodbye
This is the part of the season I hate. I hate watching them all get so close over the season and then have to go their separate ways.
Chase was the first to go. “I wasn’t the most tactful [this season]. I said some dumb sh*t. But I’ve learned … about myself, and I can see that I’m an acquired taste.” That’s for sure, but he does have some endearing qualities.
Gary was crying on Colin’s shoulder. “Why did that have to happen on the last night?”
“Maybe they also realized it was their last night together,” Colin said. “Are you mistaking your pride for actually liking her?” Good point, Colin. So much smarter than Gary. Why is Daisy even confused between these two? Colin is so obviously the superior choice.
Next was Lucy. “Oh, my God, I’m going to miss Mads so much. She’s literally like my sister … The interior team didn’t fight once, not even a blip. Just goes to show that women can support women.”
Ileisha was next. “Looking back, I feel like sometimes I self-doubt myself. I knew I could do it deep inside, but there’s just so much pressure riding on it … I have definitely pushed the boundaries of how hard I even thought I could work. Like damn, I’m proud of myself!”
Alex was next to go. “I don’t really regret anything from this season,” he interviewed. “You grow through what you go through … I do really care about Mads. I hope she knows that she deserves better. But I don’t think I’m gonna miss Mads that much, because I’m pretty sure I’m gonna be seeing her again.”
Madison left the boat next. She apologized to Gary, saying, “I really didn’t mean to hurt you … I thought we were having fun, and I’m sorry that … it happened the way it happened.” Gary got a taste of his own medicine this season. Madison learned, “Don’t screw the crew. It’s not worth it.”
Last, but not least
Finding Gary, Colin and Daisy having a last beer together on the sun deck, Glenn quipped, “Oh, sh*t, I thought the throuple left yesterday.” Good one, Glenn.
“We’re a f*cked up throuple,” Daisy agreed.
“This season has challenged me professionally,” Colin interviewed, “it’s challenged me personally. It’s challenged some of the friendships that I’ve got on the boat. I feel like I need a little bit of time away from Gary. There was trust that was broken.”
Colin needs to reconsider his whole friendship with Gary. He’s hopeful about having a future with Daisy, but this weird, dysfunctional love triangle has to go. It wasn’t fun.
“I can understand why my relationship with Gary can confuse people,” Daisy interviewed. “I’m not sure I really understand it, but I think we’ll always be friends.” She’s just hoping that Gary gives her and Colin space to figure out their relationship.
“This season almost broke me,” Daisy interviewed. “I think I’m going to need a lot of therapy.”
“Right now, I think I’m gonna be single for a while,” Gary interviewed. “I need to reflect on myself a little bit more.” That’s for sure. Good luck with that, Gare.
TELL US – DO YOU AGREE THAT MADISON NEEDED TO TELL GARY ABOUT THE KISS WITH ALEX? DO YOU THINK COLIN AND DAISY WILL WORK THINGS OUT? OR DO YOU THINK GARY WILL GET IN THE WAY?
