When last we saw the Real Housewives of New York, the ladies were having a Hamptons weekend at Erin Lichy’s gorgeous house. Jessel Taank crawled out of bed complaining, “I don’t think I’ve ever been this cold, and I live in England.”
The heat wasn’t working in the guest rooms upstairs. Bummer for the ladies, who were all freezing. Erin’s room on the lower level was nice and toasty, at least. “I knew that hosting these girls was going to be, like, a thing,” Erin admitted, “but it’s just really overwhelming. I kind of want to leave my own house.”
Ubah Hassan arrived in Erin’s bedroom saying she was more upset that Jenna Lyons had left without saying goodbye the night before. When Erin caught her trying to sneak out, she said she had a phone call scheduled for 6:30 a.m. and needed to get some sleep. Also, I think Jenna’s just a very private person and was probably kind of overwhelmed by all the other women’s energy.
At that moment, Sai De Silva chose to make a dramatic entrance, tripping over an area rug and landing in a heap at the foot of Erin’s bed. “You came in like a wrecking ball,” Jessel said. In contrast to the other ladies who were complaining about everything, Sai was just grateful to be on “a very free trip” to Erin’s beautiful home.
Jenna returns … and probably wishes she hadn’t
While the ladies were having their coffee, Jenna suddenly returned. I’m sure she soon regretted coming back at all because the other women jumped all over her for leaving the night before. They spent a good few minutes scolding her for abandoning them when all she wanted was a good night’s sleep before her 6:30 a.m. call.
A knock on the door announced the arrival of Erin’s personal trainer David. He’s a very handsome guy, and Ubah was immediately smitten. Even though she never exercises, Ubah decided she’d participate in the morning workout just so she could stare at David.
Brynn Whitfield, who had been sick the day before, arrived wearing sweatpants, sneakers and a full-length fur coat. I’m hoping it was faux, ’cause fur is not cool, y’all. Brynn knew David and greeted him with a big hug. When David asked her if she was going to work out, she told him she’d been sick and wasn’t feeling up to it. “I want you to give me a hard time,” Brynn told him, “but not in that way.” Signature Brynn.
As Jenna said, “Brynn was born flirting … the girl can turn on a paper bag. I need to take lessons, truthfully.”
But when Brynn carried on with the flirting a little too long, Ubah stepped in and pulled David’s attention back to the girls who were actually there to work out. “Brynn, step aside,” the native Somali interviewed. “You have strep throat. Don’t give my man strep throat.”
Overdressed for Sag Harbor
Everyone went back inside for a snack, but Erin wasn’t done giving Jenna a hard time about leaving. For her part, Jenna explained in an interview, “I feel a little out of my element. I’m not that great at being on someone else’s terms and someone else’s schedule.” I get that. Jenna has a tough time in groups.
Finally, Erin realized that Jenna is “just a different person … We need to give her time and clearly the space to let us in.” I 100% agree with that assessment. Be patient, Erin.
Everyone gathered in the living room on the way to lunch in Sag Harbor. Jenna was dressed casually in jeans, a fuzzy jacket and a trucker hat. But when the other ladies arrived, they looked like they were going to a fashion show. Erin emerged from her room also dressed casually in jeans and a colorful wool jacket. “Oh, my God,” she exclaimed. “Should I change?”
“Where do these girls think they’re going?” she said in a production interview. “They are way too dressed up for lunch in Sag.”
At the restaurant, the ladies talked about different ways to pick up men. Jenna, of course, doesn’t date men. She dates women. “There’s a really different way of dating men than there is women, and it’s a totally different set of rules. Women know women’s tricks, and you don’t need to hide. You can just be open and forward and honest.” Very interesting, Jenna. Good to know.
“There’s more of a game that exists with men and women,” Jenna continued. “So I feel a sense of relief that I don’t have to deal with any of this.” Me, too. I’m glad I’m married, though I do miss the game sometimes.
Brynn thinks there’s a double standard in play
Brynn and Jessel were left alone at the table while the others visited the loo. Brynn felt it was unfair that Jenna had left Erin’s house the night before, but was already forgiven. Whereas Brynn had been scolded (and was still stinging from it) about leaving and going to another restaurant when she didn’t like the one Erin had chosen.
Sai complained that she was “out of gas,” since they didn’t eat after their workout. She needed some food stat. “Is that my fault?” Jenna asked.
“No, nothing is your fault, Jenna,” Brynn piped up. “Nothing can be Jenna’s fault. It’s probably my fault. Jenna has a blank check.”
“Great,” Jenna said. “Your bank account’s empty?”
“No,” Brynn answered. “But in the Bank of Erin, it is.” Yikes. Didn’t I read somewhere that Brynn was no longer BFFs with some of the group after filming ended this season? I’m starting to see why.
Brynn finally spoke up about the double standard, “You’re more offended about someone not going to one dinner reservation than you are about someone leaving your house after you made them monogrammed pajamas?”
But Erin wasn’t having any of what Brynn was serving. “Well, maybe I like her a little bit more,” she told Brynn. Touché!
Erin explained that she was annoyed that Jenna didn’t stay, but they talked through it, Jenna apologized and they moved on. “What else could I have done?”
Erin added that Jenna had apologized within a couple of hours, but Brynn didn’t speak to her for weeks following Restaurant-Gate. Brynn compared the situation to “I stepped on your dog’s paw versus shooting your dog.” Huh, what?
“I can’t follow it,” Ubah laughed. “I’m watching a French movie right now.”
Do not touch another homegirl’s thermostat
Conversation turned to sleeping arrangements now that Brynn had arrived. Jenna offered Brynn her room since, and she would “take my ass home.”
When Sai mentioned how cold it was in the upstairs part of Erin’s house, Brynn volunteered, “Honestly, one of the rudest things – what I would never do – do not touch another homegirl’s thermostat. Don’t do that sh*t. I would never walk into your house and turn your [thermostat up]. That is messed up! Do not touch my thermostat.”
“I’m lost,” Ubah said. “I’m watching another French movie. What’s happening?” I’m right there with you, Ubah. We need subtitles for this film.
As they left the restaurant, Sai asked Ubah to take her picture. “Influencers in the wild!” Erin announced.
Two truths and a lie (more than I ever wanted to know)
To liven up the dinner conversation, Erin suggested a game of Two Truths and a Lie. “I had sex at a Knicks game, I had sex in a car … ” she began.
“Oh, my God,” Brynn interrupted. “Who hasn’t dated a Knicks player?” Ubah choked on her sushi.
“I had sex in a Senator’s office,” Erin concluded. Everyone thought the Senator was the lie, but it was the Knicks game. Oooooh, Erin. Spicy! “Not telling the story,” she insisted when everyone wanted to know about the Senator.
“I have given multiple handjobs at the same time,” Sai said. “I have done threesomes, and I love to be choked out.” Yikes, Sai’s naughty. Brynn thought being “choked out” was the lie, but it was the one about handjobs. Of course it is. Because Sai needs her hands to take selfies and create content for her social media. As Brynn said, “Swipe up to buy.”
“I have reverse cowgirled a professional athlete,” Brynn said, as everyone rolled their eyes. Of course, she has. ” … reverse cowgirled a Saudi prince…”
“I see a recurring theme here,” Jessel commented. “She doesn’t like to look at whoever she’s screwing apparently, but she wants to show everyone her ass, which is very on-brand for Brynn.”
“I’ve reverse cowgirled a US governor,” Brynn continued. (Honestly, I confess I had to Google “reverse cowgirl” ’cause I wasn’t quite sure what that was. I’ve led a sheltered life.) Everyone guessed the governor was the lie, and it was.
“Brynn loves to giddyap, doesn’t she?” Sai said. “She is a big-time pony rider.”
How many housewives does it take to light a fire pit?
After dinner, the ladies changed into their comfy, warm clothes so they could sit outside by the fire pit. But Erin was having trouble getting it to light. She was on the phone with her husband Abe, but he was walking her through all the steps she’d already tried. Finally, she decided to go get another propane tank.
When Erin left to retrieve the other tank, Brynn noticed that she was talking to “Abe the babe” and immediately started flirting with him over the phone. “Abe the babe, how’s my boy?”
Once they changed the tank, however, the pit fired right up. Thanks for your help, Abe!
Brynn was sent inside to get the Sake. She stood in front of a wall of white enamel, saying, “Siri, open the door.” When nothing happened and she still couldn’t figure out how to open it, she tried, “Alexa, open the door.” When that didn’t work, she tried knocking, like the little elves inside the fridge would answer the door maybe?
Finally, she pushed on the door hard enough to release the spring that opened the refrigerator door. “God, white people are so weird,” she said.
Being poor and loving the Dollar Store
In the backyard, the ladies were talking about their love for the Dollar Store. I love the Dollar Store, too! It’s great for stocking stuffers at Christmas time. And when my son was little and he couldn’t win enough tickets at Chucky Cheese to get any of the prizes he wanted, I took him to the Dollar Store and told him he could pick out anything in the whole store. He thought their toy aisle was heaven.
Following a discussion of how poor Sai and Brynn were growing up and how it resulted in making them tougher, Erin leaned over and asked Jenna, “So wait, are you staying tonight?”
“Yes, I’m staying,” Jenna said. What a surprise! And everyone – except maybe Brynn, who’s still jealous of Jenna’s special status – was happy.
The Real Housewives of New York airs Sundays at 9/8c on Bravo and the following day on Peacock.
TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK OF BRYNN? IS SHE A BIG FLIRT AND SUPER EXTRA? OR IS SHE JUST INSECURE AND NEEDS EVERYONE’S ATTENTION? DID YOU THINK JENNA GOT PREFERENTIAL TREATMENT?
