I tell ya, nothing beats that upbeat jazz music that hints a new Southern Charm episode is about to air. The weather is perking up in Charleston, with the tides changing too. This segment showed the girls deciding that Taylor Ann Green needed a good old-fashioned Southern soiree, which included dressing up in their best cotillion outfits, swapping tales and spillin’ tea. Shep Rose did not disappoint after he was dealt a major emotional blow during episode 2 when JT Thomas revealed Austen Kroll had Taylor over at his apartment. The playboy made sure to hand deliver this juicy piece of gossip right to Olivia Flowers‘ door.
The boys are back in town
Nothing is worse than waking up with a hangover, wishing you hadn’t spilled who your secret crush is, and then having to have a phone call from your mother, but JT pushes through – now pass the man a Bloody Mary. Bless JT for waking up needing the hair of the dog and asking, “Siri, give me some Advil.” Honestly, this little modern-day Napoleon is giving me life. Spoiler: Siri didn’t deliver on the pain relief. JT goes on to explain to his mother that after a few drinks with the boys, he is a little bit “sensitive.” Heck, aren’t we all after one too many Fireball shots?
The self-proclaimed Mama’s boy got a good lashing from Bunny, who noted Type 1 Diabetes and alcohol don’t mix. JT then passes on some sound advice. “I’m not going to not eat the ice cream or have a beer. You gotta live your life and then sort it out in the morning.” I love this guy, though I can do without a grown man referring to his mother as “mommy,” ew.
Gossip and a pedicure
Even though everyone else seems a bit thrown off by Austen making the moves on Taylor, it really shouldn’t come as a surprise now. This is his motive and totally in the beer entrepreneur’s repertoire. While recovering from their boy’s night out, Austen phones Taylor. He invites her to join him at his home (thankfully not in his bed) for some much-needed IV treatments.
Meanwhile, Craig Conover and Shep decide to pamper themselves with a pedicure and break down the events from the night before. To ensure he doesn’t lose all his masculinity, Shep quips, “I’m going pheasant hunting tomorrow, so I don’t want anyone painting anything.” Craig wastes no time asking his friend how he feels after being bombarded by JT’s love for Taylor and Austen’s possible betrayal. Shep reveals the whole night was “insane.”
Clearly upset, Shep tells Craig, “The whole implication that Austen and Taylor were more than just friends, it started to get to me. Craid is a modern-day Hardy Boy and is already on the case, saying, “I don’t know, Austen is sitting there while JT is telling this story.” Flashback to the night before when JT openly talks about Taylor crashing at Austen’s apartment overnight. Austen couldn’t make eye contact at the time, looking to the left with the whole explanation, feeling very icky. Shep quickly notes, “Boy Austen wouldn’t hold up in an interview room if he was accused of a crime. If I were a juror, I would not be inclined to find him innocent, let’s put it that way.”
Pretty in pink
While attending what feels like a retreat for women scorned by Austen, Taylor opens up to the group, saying she thinks that “Austen treats his friends so well,” only to be interrupted by Madison LeCroy saying what we are all thinking, “I think he is low key in love with you.” If looks could kill, Olivia would have a little tear-drop tattoos on her face right about now.
The ladies tell Taylor that she should keep her cool in the future. They note that yelling at Shep and Craig was not ladylike. Evidently, living well is the best revenge. Venita Aspen’s backyard get-together really bothered me because the women were more worried about Taylor’s overreaction than her feelings. The main message was that looking good is the best revenge. We do learn that Taylor’s three requirements for a man in the future are he has to be funny, be wise, and love Jesus. Yet, she dated Shep for three years…
Overall, the episode was pretty dull, but Olivia and Taylor did have their sit down at a quaint coffee shop. Fans learn that Taylor questions whether her bond with Austen was strong enough to pursue a romantic relationship. It is revealed that both talked to their family about their feelings but decided they shouldn’t act on their feelings. Olivia seemed placated with the answer but pointed out she was upset that Taylor and Austen made an effort to speak to their families. The scene cuts with both women slowly walking to their cars.
Southern Charm Season 9 airs Thursday at 9/8c on Bravo
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