Last year, Britney Spears published her memoir, The Woman in Me. This same book is about to shine as a biopic about her life, which excites us greatly. But you know what would make us even giddier? If Bravolebrities got hired. If anyone in casting is in this room, peep our picks. Here’s our Britney Spears biopic dream cast, but with Bravolebrities in the leading roles…
Danielle Cabral as Britney Spears
Danielle Cabral cast herself as Brit Brit in 2003, long before her showings on Real Housewives of New Jersey. After getting selected to perform for Britney on TRL, a teenaged Danielle threw caution to the wind. With scrotal elephantiasis-sized balls (figuratively speaking), she performed an original rap for the pop princess.
As Britney watched Danielle dance and rap, her face said a lot. In contrast, her words were very encouraging, holding nothing but praise for her New Jersey counterpart. Following Danielle’s performance, she ended up winning the entire shebang. Britney’s biopic now needs Danielle because she’s already prepped, semi-polished, and ready to go.
Brielle Biermann as Jamie Lynn Spears
Jamie Lynn Spears is an accomplished entertainer, but let’s face some facts. Her sister’s career took off harder, better, faster, and stronger than hers. Then, Jamie had to take several hot seats as Britney’s conservatorship came under fire, and fans began accusing her of mistreating her sister.
Now, Brielle Biermann equally held her own on Real Housewives of Atlanta and her family’s eventual spinoff, Don’t Be Tardy. Yet, this energetic TikTok and reality television star often lives in her mother, Kim Zolciak’s, controversial shadows, making me think that these similarities would make Brielle a solid pick for Britney’s sister, Jamie.
Heather Dubrow as Lynne Spears
Heather Dubrow is my favorite mother in the Real Housewives franchise. On Real Housewives of Orange County, she loves her LGBTQI children with all her heart, never judging, always supporting. Heather could nail (and surpass) the role of Lynne Spears without even trying. She is an actress already, after all.
Heather has even given several nods to Brit on her socials because queens support queens. When Heather walked the runway to Brit’s hit song Stronger, dancing and flexing her muscles, I declared this my favorite look for Mrs. FancyPants. If any mother on Bravo can nail a stage mom role, it’s Heather.
Terry Dubrow as Jamie Spears
Terry Dubrow is the only logical choice for accurately portraying Jamie Spears. To be blunt, I’m not a fan of Jamie’s (get in line, I’m aware), and I love Terry, but if anyone is going to play Lynne’s spouse, then Heather’s real-life man is a great pick.
Terry already loves the cameras, and with a house filled with young adults, he is likely well-versed in Britney’s life. And if not, whenever he struggles with Jamie’s harsher side during filming, his real-life and biopic-life wife Heather would be nearby, ready to assist. Please avoid accusing them of leaking any paparazzi shots though during the filming of this biopic. IKYKY.
West Wilson as Justin Timberlake
At first, many of us loved West Wilson on Summer House. He was young, cute, and fun, and his relationship with Ciara Miller seemed so sweet. But then it felt like West was using this stunning human as his storyline, helping to propel him even further into stardom. Ciara deserves everything, so this sucked to watch.
Wes’s moves remind me of Justin Timberlake, who dated Britney at her peak, only to end things and trash her in the media afterward via his music. We were rooting for you, Justin, and West, but as you two are similar, I’m casting you, West, in the role of Justin.
Erika Jayne as Christina Aguilera
Erika Jayne is a solid pick for the role of Britney’s childhood musical rival, Christina Aguilera. When Erika’s not starring on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, she’s out there singing and dancing, doing the most for her fans.
Erika is also a shade expert, so when it comes time to film any scenes showing Christina and Britney’s career paths, she’s arriving well-equipped. But mostly, if anyone can pull off Xtina’s assless chaps and form-fitting catsuits, it’s Erika, b*tch.
Caroline Stanbury as Madonna
The wealth seen in Real Housewives of Dubai is top-tier, and Caroline Stanbury is no exception. Caroline is 100% a material girl. She’s even got a specialized flown-in tree nestled inside her home and a therapist who used to work for Princess Diana, both helping to prove this fact. Always also a little bit saucy, Caroline wouldn’t even bat an eye over having to kiss Britney (aka Danielle) while portraying the role of Madonna in Brit’s upcoming biopic.
But also, Britney always viewed Madonna as both a role model and a mentor. I can only imagine Caroline trying to advise this Bravolebrity-filled cast when in character, should my casting dreams pan out.
Carole Radziwill as Diane Sawyer
Carole Radziwill is a journalist, author, producer, and a Real Housewives of New York alum. Her natural ability to question her castmates always made me laugh, as no one holds their costars feet as closely to the fires as she. In contrast, do you know what never made me chuckle? Britney’s interview with Diane Sawyer back in 2003.
In this, Diane pushed Britney to answer racy questions. But this moment was defining for Britney, so it has to go into her biopic. Carole is already a Diane, minus the racy questions part. She would nail this role. Plus, it’s not airing on Bravo, so this would be a win-win, right, Carole?
Garcelle Beauvais as Oprah Winfrey
Garcelle Beauvais could hold her own as a talk show host. For years, we have watched her pull answers out of her costars with ease on RHOBH. She knows when to show concern and excitement, and she also knows when to press the pause, allowing others to speak.
In 2002, Britney sat down with Oprah, and just like Diane, Oprah inquired about Brit’s sex life. Thankfully, this interview didn’t go as hard as Diane’s, as Oprah kept things in context, only speaking on certain things that Brit had already put out in the world. Oprah has always supported Britney’s career, so she deserves a spot in Brit’s biopic. My vote on her role goes to Garcelle.
Sergio Carrallo as Sam Asghari
Sam Asghari clung to Britney for several years. They were always together, and throughout their relationship, if Brit got captured by the Paps, Sam was right there by her side. Now, who else from the Bravo world does this sound like?
Sergio Carrallo is the only acceptable answer. Sergio adores his blonde RHODubai wife, Caroline. Obsessively so. Therefore, he’s the perfect casting choice for the role of Sam.
Sam is about to star in the next season of The Traitors. I guarantee you Sergio would give Caroline a 5-minute break, all for an opportunity at the roundtable with Sam. Maybe.
Now, make all this happen, Bravo.
TELL US – WHICH BRAVOLEBRITIES WOULD YOU CHOOSE FOR BRITNEY’S BIOPIC?
