Trigger warning: This article contains discussion of self-harm.
Stassi Schroeder is a New York Times bestelling author. She’s written a series of books reflecting on different aspects of her life, with The Basic B!tch worked into all the titles.
But her most recent memoir, You Can’t Have It All: The Basic B!tch Guide To Taking The Pressure Off, is probably the most vulnerable. The Vanderpump Rules alum discusses her tendency to self-harm in her younger years.
Stassi Schroeder shared the details of the “feral” moment
In one shocking passage, Stassi wrote about once sending pictures to Beau Clark after she self-harmed. She calls it the “most vile and manipulative” acts towards her now-husband, one that will make her “live with guilt forever.”
The former reality TV star described the “feral” incident. Beau had gone out to dinner, and Stassi was upset that he hadn’t stayed in with her. She flooded him with calls, before sending a photo of the results or the self-harm inflicted on her hip.
“I was feral. And then I remember cutting the side of my hip,” Stassi shared. “This is the part that’s the hardest to write and admit. It’s maybe one of the most vile, manipulative, horrible things I’ve ever done….”
She continued, “I sent Beau and Katie Maloney photos of what I had done to myself. If that’s not one of the most twisted and cruel things to do to someone, I don’t know what is. I’ll live with that guilt forever.”
Beau Clark gave Stassi an ultimatum that “saved” her
Beau returned home and was talking with his mother “the majority of the night.” When the couple woke up the next morning, he gave Stassi an ultimatum.
“He said if that ever happened again, even in the slightest bit, he’d be out of the relationship,” the VPR alum shared. “That was the last time I ever hurt myself. Beau saved me that day.”
After struggling with self-harm for 11 years, and at times, suicidal feelings, Stassi can pinpoint that moment as the last time she considered either.
“I self-mutilated in order to cope with any extreme feelings of sadness, anxiety, or anger,” she wrote. “There have been times in my life where I considered driving my car into a building, or jumping out of the window of my high-rise apartment.”
The death of a dear mentor triggered Stassi into a mental health decline while she was in college. The destructive thoughts started at that point in her life.
“I know what it feels like to not want to live,” Stassi poignantly revealed in her memoir.
Vanderpump Rules is currently streaming on Peacock.
If you or someone you know is in crisis, please call 911, go to the nearest emergency room, call 1-800-273-TALK (8255) to reach a 24-hour crisis center, or text MHA to 741741 at the Crisis Text Line.
