The Twelve Days of Christmas is a popular English Christmas carol. The song is a classic example of a cumulative song, as the lyrics detail a series of gifts. Who doesn’t love the thought of receiving golden rings, turtle doves, or a partridge in a pear tree? However, I imagine the Real Housewives might have a couple more luxury items on their gift list. So, let’s get caroling. On the twelfth day of Christmas, my true love gave to me…
Twelve sprinkle cookies: Real Housewives of New Jersey
When I think of a Real Housewives Christmas, I can’t help but jump to Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga’s love or hate of sprinkle cookies. As Real Housewives of New Jersey fans know, Missy G did the unthinkable when she arrived, pregnant with sprinkle cookies to the Giudice household. While retelling the story, Tre noted, “Melissa, nobody touched the cookies you brought. I threw them in the garbage. You know what my favorite cookies are? Pignoli cookies.” Listen, I still stand by the fact that throwing a pregnant woman’s cookies in the garbage is savage. But evidently, Santa gave Teresa a pass.
Eleven Real Housewives peaches sniping: Real Housewives of Atlanta
Over the years, the Real Housewives franchise has delivered on the drama. When taking a moment to think back on some of my favorite catfights, a few jump to mind. The first on my list is Real Housewives of Atlanta and the fight between Shereé Whitfield and Kenya Moore, aka Chateau Shereé vs Moore Manor. Another great brawl occurred between Kim Zolciak and NeNe Leakes while on Kandi Burruss’ tour bus.
Ten husbands cringing: RHONJ
Over the years, the spouses of Real Housewives have been put through the gauntlet. Most recently, Angie Katsanevas embarrassed her husband, Sean Trujillo after she was kicked out of Meredith Marks’ bat mitzvah. Our Greek goddess hasn’t been the only one to bring shame to her husband. Just off the top of my head, Jackie Goldschneider, Karen Huger, and Ramona Singer certainly round out the list. But for every husband face palming in disgrace, their over-excited wife has created a memorable moment for fans.
Nine Bravo ladies crying: Real Housewives of Potomac
It just wouldn’t be Real Housewives if fans didn’t witness some of the women sob their eyes out. But the star who took the cake would have to be Candiace Dillard Bassett. She perfected the cryangle, a small piece of tissue she folded to dab her wet eyes. Before leaving the Real Housewives of Potomac, Candiace was the go-to for crying over literally nothing.
Eight Real Housewives epic meltdowns: Real Housewives of New York
Since it’s the holiday season, there will inevitably be epic meltdowns. Dorinda Medley was the queen of holidays and freaking out. But when you combine the two, you get one hell of a scene. In Season 10, Dorinda surprised Bethenny Frankel with a life-sized, one-of-a-kind FAO Schwarz nutcracker. B seemed jovial with the gift, but D felt she didn’t get her just deserts. Thus causing one of the craziest holiday fights to date.
Seven swans a-swimming: Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
Even though Lisa Vanderpump doesn’t have seven swans, she has swans, which counts for me. Lisa’s two swans, Hanky and Panky, were well-known characters on the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Even though many visitors were afraid to cross the bridge, Lisa loved her birds.
Six Real Housewives lying: Real Housewives of Orange County
Lying and Real Housewives go hand in hand. One of the biggest liars happened to be Vicki Gunvalson and Cancer Gate. At the time, her boyfriend, Brooks Ayers, made up that he was fighting cancer, and Vicki went along with him. Another very big lie, which would be a no-no for Santa, was when Phaedra Parks was caught red-handed. After throwing Porsha Williams under the bus, she finally came clean about starting the rumors regarding Kandi’s sex dungeon.
Five golden Cartier rings
Unlike Gia Giudice and Luis Ruelas, who pushed fake Cartier last Christmas, most Real Housewives stars love receiving a gift wrapped in a little red box. Sutton Stracke is not ashamed to show off her Panthère de Cartier ring, which set Santa back $15,000. Diana Jenkins was also known for her large Cartier collection. Luckily, she shared her jewels with the women.
Four falling Luanns: Real Housewives of New York
Luann de Lesseps is known for her style and grace, as well as her constant fight with gravity. During the Season 9 girls’ trip, Lu might have had one too many cocktails, which led her to fall into a bush right outside their rental home. Luann and the bush made for quite the scene as it was a wild moment.
Three themed party outfits
The queen of themed attire has to be Jessel Taank. She has slayed on this season of the Real Housewives of New York. Between her Clueless birthday and Madonna outfit, I find myself looking forward to seeing what the mother of two will wear next!
Two Christian Louboutins
The luxury fashion line is popular amongst most Real Housewives. Erika Jayne’s knee-high leopard Louboutins still live rent-free in my head. Old money and new money all want to feel fancy, and red bottoms are a surefire way to do so. Hopefully, Santa has his cobblers hard at work this year.
And a Birkin in Kyle Richards’ hand!
In 2023, Kyle Richards revealed the true extent of her Hermès Birkin collection. In Season 12, Garcelle Beauvais hosted a Birkin-buying party, and the child actress was in heaven. Kyle confessed that she owned 18 bags to date. It turns out 18 is Kyle’s lucky number, but perhaps not her checkbook’s.
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